


Green Light

by SpencerKnight



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Anal Sex, Band Fic, Bondage, Consensual Kink, Consensual Sex, Dom Ashton, Dom Calum, Dom Michael, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Fluff, Edgeplay, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Implied Consent, Improvised Sex Toys, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Graphic Smut, Non-Penetrative Sex Toys, OT4, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Other, Resolved Sexual Tension, Restraints, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Seriously Guys There's A Lot of Sex in This I'm Telling You, Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Smut, Sub Luke, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Verbal Bondage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:14:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 56,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7623682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerKnight/pseuds/SpencerKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Class is an age old concept--almost as old as the concept of human slavery, and in a world where buying humans is a standard behavior by those who can afford it, Luke's only hope as a member of the lower class is that he falls into the hands of a decent buyer--the hands of Ashton Irwin and his partners. Luke knows he has one chance to please his buyers or he risks getting put back on the market, but he's thrown for a loop when Ashton admits that Luke is the one that gets to call the shots. In an attempt to find security with the trio, Luke braces himself and gives them the green light to do whatever they want with him. </p><p>He had no idea they would refuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One - JULY 17

Ashton was seated in the back of the hired car with Luke, attempting to get any amount of information from him. The man wore jeans and a white button down with three buttons undone. There was a tattoo on the man’s wrist, partially hidden by a large silver watch. He was staring at Luke and waiting for an answer to a question he had asked two minutes ago. 

As far as Luke knew, all Ashton had was the blond boy’s age, eighteen, which he had learned from the auctioneer, and not the boy himself. He doubted Ashton had looked through his file yet, based on the questions he was asking. It could all be found in the packet tucked into the seat pocket in front of the man. 

Luke knew nothing about where he was headed, nor who he was seated next to, and was pressing as far into the car door as his seat belt would allow to avoid being close to Ashton. He didn't get a file telling him all about his buyer. His heart was racing as he picked at his shirt sleeve with careful concentration, which was very clearly frustrating the older man, who obviously wanted answers, rather than the long stretch of silence he received instead. 

The boy kept telling himself that there was nothing to worry about, and that he'd be fine, but the more he said it, the less he believed it. The longer the man stared at him, the less he believed it. Everything was riding on what Ashton decided to do with him. 

Ashton sighed, “Look, I’m asking you nicely to answer my question. I know you’re scared, and I can tell that talking to me makes you uncomfortable, but if you’re not going to answer my simple questions then we’re going to have a problem, and I’m not really in the mood to force the answers out of you when it would be much easier for you to just tell me. They’re not hard questions. I don’t want to scare you, or upset you. I want you to like me. I want this to work. So please, just tell me your name.”

The boy looked up at Ashton, his eyebrows furrowed together and his lip held tightly between his teeth. He couldn’t tell if Ashton was bluffing, but he didn’t want to make him angry. He took a deep breath and released his lip, the pink flesh showing tiny indentations from where his teeth had been. He decided to bite the bullet and let the pieces fall where they may. 

“Luke,” He said softly, “My name is Luke.”

Ashton nodded, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Luke hesitated but shook his head. He didn’t want to tell the man anything. Everything he said could be used as leverage, and Luke had absolutely nothing.

“Good boy,” Ashton praised, “Now, this is the first time you’ve been bought, isn’t it?”

Ashton was turned to face the younger boy, his arm across the back of the seats. His hand hung only inches from Luke’s face, which was a fact Luke was acutely aware of. 

“Yes, sir.” Luke admitted.

He had only just turned eighteen. There hadn’t been enough time for him to have been bought by someone else and resold to the Block. That, he supposed, was probably a good thing. Being resold didn't look good on paper and it certainly wouldn't have helped his case. 

“None of that yes sir, no sir with me, okay? I’m not old enough to be called that. You can call me by my name. You should call me by my name. We're on the same level here. We’re equals.”

The younger boy shrunk into the seat. “Sorry.”

“Luke, I just want to talk. You don’t need to be so scared of me.” 

Luke’s eyes widened and he started to tell Ashton that he wasn’t scared, even though he most certainly was.

“I—”

“Don’t,” Ashton said, lifting his fingers to cut Luke off, and Luke flinched, “You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m just trying to show you that I’m not the bad guy, here. Why don’t you ask some questions, instead? This isn’t new to me, so I’m not worried. I’m sure you are, aren’t you?”

Luke nodded, the motion shaky.

“Use your words, Luke.”

“Are…are you…the only,” Luke trailed off.

“Do I live alone? Am I single?”

Luke nodded.

“No. You’ll meet Calum and Michael when we get home.”

Ashton lifted his hand from his lap, and Luke saw the silver band on his ring finger.

He tensed at this. Three people. He had expected two at most. Three was already a lot, especially if they wanted to add another person to the mix. Especially if they were already in a clearly established relationship. Married, he would guess. Although they were quite young to be married. Ashton didn't appear to be much older than Luke himself. He wondered how they expected him to fit in. Ashton hadn’t hinted at anything yet.

“They’re not scary, Luke. Ease up a bit.” Luke nodded again, but didn’t ask another question.   
“Michael is excited to meet you. He was hoping to come along, but he had to go into work, so you’ll meet him at dinner. He told me that he’s going to make up for being gone once he gets back. I’m not sure if he’ll be making it up to you or to me, though. Calum wants someone who isn’t me or Michael that he can be around, so I’m sure he’ll try to keep you to himself as soon as he can get his hands on you. He’s tired of only having the two of us and our work friends.” 

The car came to a stop, and the door opened for Ashton to step out. The man took the packet from the seat pocket. 

“Come on then,” he said, coaxing Luke from the car. “We’re nice people, Luke, you can trust us. I know it’ll take some time for us to earn it, but it’s still true, even if you don’t believe me.”

Luke braced himself and followed Ashton out of the car to the front of the house. This is what he had signed up for. It didn't matter if he trusted them, he still had to do what he was told. Ashton watched as Luke took note of the gates surrounding the house, his eyes moving to survey the tall white house. 

“Luke,” Ashton said gently, “come on now. Calum’s waiting to meet you.”

This did not help Luke to move towards the front door at all. He watched as Ashton crossed his arms, his muscles now visible through his shirt sleeves. 

The older man frowned, his jaw clenched, and Luke moved quickly to accompany him into the house. Ashton closed and locked the front door behind the two of them, and guided Luke through the living area.

“I’m going to show you your room. It’s yours, but there’s a chance you’ll be spending the majority of your time in the master bedroom with us, so it might be more of a space for you to relax than a place for you to sleep. That’s not the point though. It's your room. You’re free to spend as much time in there as you like, and we won’t bother you, as long as you’re being reasonable with the amount of time. Just don’t hibernate in there or anything. That being said, it’s your safe space,” Ashton explained.

He led Luke up the stairs, turning left and guiding the younger of the two to the first door on the right. He opened the door to reveal a simple bedroom. The bed was against the far wall, and a desk sat to the left of the doorway. Across from the desk was a dresser. 

“There are clothes for you to wear in the closet and the dresser that should probably fit you. We’ll deal with it later if they don’t.” He closed the door and motioned for Luke to follow him back down the hall to a set of white double doors at the top of the staircase. “This is our room.”

Ashton knocked once and pushed the door open, revealing a tanned man reclining on the bed and watching a footie match on the television mounted to the wall. Luke assumed he was Calum.

He was wearing only a pair of gym shorts, tattoos clearly visible on his caramel colored skin. He pushed his black hair out of his face when he noticed Ashton in the doorway.

“You’re back,” he said cheerfully, sitting up and muting the game.

Ashton stepped into the room and Luke followed, standing in the doorway, and not moving further into the space.

“This is Luke,” Ashton revealed, “He’s a bit skittish right now, but I think he’s going to be more comfortable later once he gets a feel for everything, aren’t you, Luke?”

Luke nodded, unsure if Ashton was right, but unwilling to do anything to upset him until he knew what they wanted. 

“Use your words,” Calum and Ashton chorused.  
Luke jumped at the command, folding his arms over his chest, “Um...yes, I think so.” He rubbed the back of his ankle with the top of his other foot and let the door frame support his weight. His teeth dug into his bottom lip again.

“Good boy.”

“Come here so I can get a good look at you,” Calum ordered.

He stood up and walked around to the end of the bed, sitting on the chest there. Luke hesitated for a moment before stepping forward until he was in front of Calum, just out of reach. Calum looked the younger boy up and down twice and nodded in approval.

“Anything I should know?” He asked Ashton.

“I can show you the file later. Haven’t read it yet. I was hoping he’d open up on his own." 

Luke wasn't surprised by this news. It explained Ashton's line of questions in the car. He wondered why they wanted him to give them the answers himself, when it was all right there in the packet.

"I think I’ll leave him with you while I make us dinner, if that’s alright? He’s seen his room, and he knows he’s free to go in there if he’d like. You should go over some of the house rules with him.”

Calum nodded pensively and Ashton left the room, patting Luke's shoulder on his way out. 

“Have a seat, Luke.”

Calum gestured for Luke to take a seat beside him on the chest, and Luke nodded but didn’t make any other indication that he was going to sit.   
Quite frankly, he was struggling to will himself into obeying. He knew he had to. 

“Luke,” Calum ordered gently, “Come on.”

At this, Luke stepped forward and sat on the edge of the chest, putting as much space between the two as he could manage. He gripped the edge of the chest tightly with one hand.

Calum sighed, “You alright?”

“Yes?” Uncertainty was evident in Luke’s voice, and Calum frowned.

“You can relax, you know, there’s nothing you need to worry about. You’re safe here.”

Luke tried not to look at Calum like he was crazy, deciding instead to focus on his shoes, “Okay.” he said slowly.

“I mean it,” Calum paused, “Do you know what the stoplight system is?”

Luke looked up at the older man and shook his head and Calum raised his eyebrows. 

“No,” Luke said, remembering to speak. This was clearly one of the rules he was meant to follow. 

“Alright, it’s pretty simple. Green means go, yellow means slow, and red means no. Does that make sense?”

“Yes.”

Calum nodded and lifted a foot onto the chest. He wrapped his arms around his knee, “Repeat it back to me.”

Luke pulled one of his sleeves down and bunched the extra fabric into a ball in his palm.

“Green means go, yellow means slow, and red means no.”

“Good. You use those colors to tell us if you’re comfortable or not. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” Luke nodded.

“For any situation. If dinner’s too hot, or if someone is upsetting you, or if you aren’t okay with something we say, you get to use those colors to essentially tap out. Does that make sense to you?”

Luke nodded. 

“Good. Now as long as you don’t say red or yellow, you do as we say without objection. Is that understood?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Let’s test it then,” Calum said. 

Calum lifted his hand to Luke’s shoulder.

“What color is this?”

“Green.”

His hand moved down Luke’s front and stopped just below his ribs. It clicked in Luke’s head: this was about sex. They had bought him for sex. 

It didn’t happen particularly often in his situation, but here he was with a hand on his navel in a bedroom, and now Luke was nervous. He had considered it as a possibility, but he hadn’t ever considered that this would be all they wanted from him.

It was one thing for him to tell himself he'd be okay with sex—he had signed up for whatever his buyer wanted him for—but it was another thing to actually be okay with it. It turned out he wasn't. Was he actually allowed to say he wasn’t okay with it? It felt like a trap. 

“And here?”

Luke waited a moment before responding with a hesitant, “Green.”

Calum nodded and moved his hand to Luke’s hip.  
“Now?”

“Y-Yellow.”

Calum moved slowly this time, moving his hand down to sit at the top of Luke’s leg, his fingertips just barely touching his inner thigh. Luke’s mind was spinning. He stared at the tattoo on Calum’s hand, hyper-aware of exactly how close the man’s fingers were to his groin. This is what he signed up for. His grip on the chest tightened, his knuckles white. Calum didn't move. 

“Are you still yellow?” Calum asked gently.  
It sounded like a trick question. All he knew was he wasn't supposed to tell his buyer no, but Calum was waiting for him to say just that. But he couldn't say yes. 

“N-No,” Luke shook his head, “no.”

Calum removed his hand. 

Luke let out a relieved sigh. It wasn't a trap. 

“Very good. We’ll work on getting you comfortable with all of us later. For now you’re just fine. More than fine, really.”

“Okay,” Luke whispered.

“Hey, look at me,” Calum said gently.

Luke looked up.

“This is what the system is for. Nothing is going to happen that you aren’t comfortable with, do you understand? We’re never going to do something that you label a red, okay?”

“Okay.”

Calum stared at Luke for a long moment before he stood up and walked back around to the bed, plopping himself down on the duvet. 

“Come watch the match with me,” Calum ordered, patting the blankets beside him, “Do you like footie?”

Luke nodded and joined Calum on the bed, kicking off his shoes before swinging his legs up onto the blankets. He was sitting so close to the other edge of the bed that he thought he might fall off if he wasn’t careful.

“Come on, sit next to me,” Calum repeated.  
He gestured for Luke to move closer to him, and Luke obliged. Calum’s hand found a place on Luke’s knee as he unmuted the game. There was a silver band on his finger, too.

“Remember to use the colors if you need to,” Calum said casually as his attention returned to the match. 

He kept his focus on the game, cheering when his team scored points, and rubbing Luke’s knee the entire time. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation, but he knew it didn’t really matter what he thought, so he resigned himself to waiting for Calum to do something more. 

Luke was stiff, but after a few goals he was beginning to relax into Calum’s touch. Calum waited a minute before sliding his hand down an inch or so. Luke didn’t visibly react, nor did he tell Calum to stop, so the hand stayed. 

This continued through most of the game until Calum’s hand was a little more than half way up Luke’s thigh. Just as Luke opened his mouth to say yellow, Ashton called up the stairs.

“Michael’s home. Come down for dinner.”

Calum removed his hand from Luke’s thigh and turned off the game. “That’s our cue,” he said cheerfully, grabbing a shirt from the dresser under the television.

Luke followed Calum down the stairs and into the kitchen, where they found Ashton and who he assumed was Michael. 

Ashton was setting out silverware at the table, and Michael was bringing the plates out. The latter of the two wore gym shorts and a loose hanging tank top. He had several tattoos like Calum.

“Need a hand?” Calum asked.

“We’ve got it,” Michael replied, carrying the last two plates to the table.

Calum led Luke to the table and tapped the back of the chair closest to the far wall.

“You can sit here,” Calum told Luke.

He took a seat to the left of Luke’s chair.

Michael stood to the right of Luke, readjusting one of the serving bowls before taking a seat, and Ashton took the remaining chair directly across from Luke. 

The arrangement left Luke feeling a little boxed in, with no way out of the room but past all three of the strangers that he had only just met.

“Alright everyone, dig in,” Ashton said.

Luke ate quietly and listened to the conversation going on around him. He wondered what they were expecting from him going forward. Calum had given him a good idea, but there were a lot of blanks that they had yet to fill in for him. He still didn’t know why they picked him, or exactly what they wanted, or what he was and wasn’t allowed to do.

As they were nearing the end of the meal, Calum turned to conversation to Michael.

“How was work?” Calum asked.

“Great, actually,” Michael replied, “We finished the backing for the new track, and it sounds really good." Luke wondered where they worked. "They wanted me to stay and finish off another one, but I told them I had to get home. I’d much rather be here getting to know Luke.”

Luke nearly choked on his food at that, not expecting the attention to fall on him so suddenly. He looked up to see Michael staring at him, concerned.

“Are you alright?” Michael asked as Luke wiped his face with his napkin.

Luke nodded.

“Use your words,” Ashton prompted.

“Yes, I’m okay, sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No need to apologize,” Ashton replied.

“Ashton and Calum have been good to you, yeah? Ashton told me that everything went well, but do you think so?”

Luke, although unsure, assumed Michael was referencing the Purchase, and thought it best to just answer how he imagined they’d want him to. He wasn’t really sure what ‘well’ constituted. He fisted his napkin in his lap nervously.

“They have,” Luke confirmed, “and, yes?”

“Good, good. Well, I get my turn with you after dinner. I’d like to get to know you a bit better.”

Luke did his best to not visibly react to Michael’s words, which were echoing in his head. He didn’t want to know what Michael meant by his turn. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins. 

“You two can do the dishes then.” Ashton said. He set his silverware down, his plate clean. 

Calum nodded in agreement and stood up. “I’ll let you guys finish. I’m going to go for a run.”

“I’m going to hop in the shower. Maybe you could show him the playroom?”

Michael grinned as the two left.

“Just you and me now, innit?”

Luke swallowed. “Just us.”

He was scared to find out what Michael wanted with him. 

Michael snorted, “You should get to know me a little before you decide it’s the worst possible thing to be stuck with me. I won’t bite. Come on, help me with the dishes and we can get to the real fun.”

Luke obeyed and helped to load the dishwasher while listening to Michael ramble on about how excited he was to have finally gotten around to buying Luke. It wasn't the slightest bit comforting.  
Once they were finished Michael leaned on the countertop to face Luke, who stood uncomfortably in the center of the kitchen.

“So what did I miss while Calum and Ashton had you all to themselves?”

“I watched the football game with Calum." Luke paused. "And he explained the stoplight system to me,” he added quietly.

“Good, good,” the older man twisted the ring on his finger. “That’s an important one.”

Michael pushed himself off of the counter and walked past Luke, motioning for the younger boy to follow him up the stairs. Luke did so. Michael led Luke past the master bedroom and past Luke’s room to the end of the hallway. He stopped before opening the door, turning to face Luke.

“This is the playroom, which is the best room in the house, if you ask me. We spend a fair bit of our free time in here. I want to show it to you, but you won’t be spending a lot of time in here quite yet. At least, I really doubt it. Give it a few days and I suspect we could be, but for now we’ll keep it to once every couple days or so if you’re alright with it.”

Luke nodded slowly. He wasn't quite sure what he was or wasn't going to be okay with that happened behind the door, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know at all. 

“You don’t need to be scared. I just want you to see it so you know what you’re getting into when you decide it’s time to come back—if you even want to, that is. Right now it’s just a room with a bunch of toys.”

Luke didn't know what Michael meant by toys. It seemed innocent enough, but he knew he was there for sex, and there was nothing innocent about that.

Michael opened the door and gestured for Luke to enter ahead of him. The room wasn’t extravagant. A bed sat against the left wall, and a closet was tucked into the right one, a bathroom beside that. On the far wall was a window seat. The room looked like any other bedroom from what Luke could tell. 

Michael watched as Luke looked around the room, studying the space. He walked over to the closet and pulled open the doors for Luke to see inside. It was filled with boxes, each with a label. Luke made out one reading handcuffs, another marked hemp rope, and bit his lip. He wanted to leave the room immediately, but he could tell that wasn't an option. 

“This is where we keep everything. It’s all labeled if you’d like to take a look, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Luke shook his head. He could taste blood from biting his lip too hard, but he didn’t stop. Handcuffs and rope. He wondered what they were planning for him, and wondered how on earth they could call the room a playroom, rather than the torture chamber he was convinced it actually was. It looked too welcoming to be a torture chamber, though.

“That’s alright. You’ll probably come across it all eventually. We don’t need to get into it right now.”

Luke nodded slowly. He tried not to let his facial expression give away how scared he was at the idea of being faced with anything in that closet. 

“You’re being very quiet,” Michael noted, “I know this is all new to you, and it’s scary because of that, but you don’t need to be scared.” 

“Okay,” Luke murmured.

“Here, sit.”

He took a seat on the bed, expecting Luke to follow. The younger boy did after a moment.

“All the way up,” Michael prompted. 

He helped Luke to move his feet onto the bed so that he could lay down beside the blond. 

“Just relax,” he said gently, “close your eyes.”

Luke stared at Michael, worry etched into his features.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Luke, just close your eyes.”

Luke continued to stare at Michael for a moment, debating on just how much he trusted the almost-stranger, then relented and closed his eyes. This is what he had signed up for, and the sooner he accepted that, the easier it would be to get used to his new life. 

“There we go. Just take a deep breath for me, alright? Relax.”

Luke’s chest rose and fell in a deep and steady rhythm. It did him no good to panic before he even knew what he was panicking over.

“Good, you’re doing very well,” Michael praised.  
He took Luke’s hand, saying, “I just want you to know I’m right here. Red, yellow, or green?” which made Luke tense for a moment before relaxing again.

“Green,” Luke whispered.

Michael’s hand moved up Luke’s arm tentatively, the other hand still holding Luke’s.

“Tell me if it changes,” Michael ordered lightly, “alright?”

“Okay.”

Luke didn’t stiffen as Michael moved his hand over the younger boy’s shoulder and across his chest. He wasn’t sure what Michael was trying to do as he continued his path down Luke’s torso, clearly waiting for a reaction. The blond scrunched his eyebrows and squeezed his eyes shut tighter as Michael approached his bellybutton, so Michael stopped. 

“What color?” He asked.

“Green,” Luke replied, almost like a question.

“Are you sure?”

Luke shook his head, and Michael moved his hand to just below Luke’s bellybutton. “Is this yellow?”

“Yes.”

Michael hummed approvingly, moving his hand once again, this time to the outside of Luke’s hip.

“And now?”

“Green.”

“Good.”

Michael’s hand slid down the outside of Luke’s thigh down to his knee before slowly coming back up the inside. He was waiting for Luke to speak up. 

Luke had gone stiff as soon as Michael’s hand made it halfway up his thigh. He didn’t think he wanted Michael to go any further.

“Yellow.”

Michael continued, slower now than before.   
Luke’s eyebrows were furrowed together and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Michael’s hand had moved just a few inches at this point, and Luke was stiff as a board. He knew he didn’t want Michael to go any further this time. He wanted to stop with whatever game Michael was playing. He didn’t want to do anything they were going to ask him to do.

“Red,” he whimpered.

Michael’s hand immediately moved several inches back down Luke's thigh.

“Yellow.”

“Take a deep breath for me, Luke. Relax. You’re doing so well. Just breathe.”

Luke’s chest rose as his lungs expanded before he blew out the air. He stared intensely at the inside of his eyelids. 

“Are you…are you going to,” Luke took a deep breath, “to have sex with me?”

“Do you trust me?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know,” Luke whispered.

“You have to trust me for my answer to be a yes. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me why you don’t trust me.” Michael pulled his hand from Luke’s gently. 

Luke didn’t respond for a moment as he thought. He was surprised by how gentle all of them had been with him, which was scary, since he hadn’t been expecting it, and as a result he didn’t know what to expect from them. Gentle and torture chamber usually didn’t go along together, yet there he was.

“You’re nice,” Luke began quietly, “and you listen.”

“Those are both good things. What is it that’s making you unsure?” Michael prompted, unaware that those were the very reasons Luke wasn’t comfortable.

“I don’t know you,” Luke whispered, “And I don’t know what you want.”

“Alright,” Michael said softly.

He wondered if it would postpone the inevitable if he admitted to being freaked out by it all.

“And I’m scared.”

It was quiet for a moment, and Luke wanted to open his eyes, but he was scared to upset the older man.

“My name is Michael Clifford,” Michael began, rubbing his thumb into Luke’s thigh, “I’m twenty years old, and I have every season of Friends illegally downloaded onto my laptop. I’ve been with Ashton and Calum since I finished school, and we’re in a band together. I’m just looking to have a bit of fun, but I don’t want to push you into anything you don’t want.”

“My name is Ashton Irwin,” Ashton said, making Luke gasp and jump. 

His eyes flew open, not realizing Ashton had entered the room. He was even more surprised to find Calum sitting right beside Ashton. 

Ashton was sitting on the floor by the bed. His hair was still wet from his shower, a few drops of water scattered among the freckles on his bare shoulders, and he wore a pair of grey sweatpants. Calum was dressed to match Ashton, but instead of wearing the same relaxed smile as the man beside him, Calum had a deep frown pulling down the corners of his lips. 

“Close your eyes,” Ashton murmured. 

He took Luke’s hand in his own, his thumb rubbing over the back of Luke’s fingers, and Luke relaxed into the bed again. 

He closed his eyes and willed his heartbeat to slow. Just a moment ago it had been just Michael in the room with him. Now he was outnumbered in a room with boxes of rope and handcuffs. He had to stay calm or whatever happened next would almost definitely be worse. 

“I’m twenty two, I have a little brother and a little sister, and I play the drums in our band. I want what Michael wants as well, but like he said, I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re not ready for, either.” 

Luke nodded. The touch of Michael’s hand on his thigh kept pulling his focus, just a little too far up his leg for Luke to be comfortable. 

The word, “Okay,” fell from his lips along with a deep exhale.

"I'm Calum Hood. I have a sister. Mine's older, though. I'm twenty, like Michael. I used to play footie. I can't drive. I've always wanted a dog. I just want to take it easy and get to know you."

“Red, yellow, or green?” Michael asked.

“Green.”

“You can open your eyes,” Michael said, and Luke did.

He sat up on his elbow, eyebrows furrowed, and lip between his teeth. Neither Ashton nor Michael moved their hands from where they were sitting on Luke’s leg and hand, but Luke didn’t indicate that he wanted that to change. Instead, he looked from Michael to Ashton to Calum several times.   
They were clearly trying to give him reasons to feel less afraid, but it wasn't working. None of that mattered when all they wanted was to sleep with him. 

Michael tilted his head to the side. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m--this--” Luke pouted and shrugged.

He didn’t want to say anything that would upset them, but he didn’t want to lie and say he was ever going to be okay with whatever they had planned. He settled for not answering at all.

“I would give anything to know what’s going through your head right now."

“I don’t even know,” Luke said quietly.

“Are you still scared?” Luke shook his head. “Use your words.”

“Not really.”

He wasn’t scared, he was terrified. Knowing their hobbies wasn’t going to make him more comfortable with them--knowing what they wanted was going to do that. Unless what they wanted was him—which he expected was the case—meaning he wouldn’t be any less terrified, but he’d have to learn to hide it. He was confident that was exactly what they wanted.

“Good,” Ashton replied, “That’s a start.” 

It was quiet for a few long moments before Luke spoke. “What do you want to do with me?” He asked softly.

“We’d never ask you to do something you’re not ready for,” Michael replied.

“I mean if I’m ready,” Luke said hesitantly. 

The three men exchanged a glance before looking back to Luke. Michael was the first to speak.

“If you were ready,” Michael began, “which would mean that this—” Michael’s hand moved a few inches into Luke’s red-zone and Luke drew in a sharp breath, his hand crushing Ashton’s before Michael slid his fingers back to their place mid-thigh, “—would be green, I’d probably want to spend time just laying with you, kissing you, making you feel good.” Michael paused, grinning at Luke who was tense again, “But that’s only if you were ready and willing. And ready doesn’t just mean prepared. Ready means you want it, too.”

Luke didn’t respond, but Ashton did.

“You’ll be ready for Michael and Calum long before you’d be ready for me, if you ever are,” he began. “See those hooks in the ceiling?” Ashton asked, pointing above his head. “I have a few games we could play that involve those.”

Luke glanced up at the ceiling. Every few feet there was a pair of hook screws. Luke had seen hooks like that hold swings or chandeliers, but he saw neither of those in the room. His breathing hitched, and his grip tightened on Ashton’s hand again. What he had seen was a box containing some kind of rope in the closet and he didn’t want to think about what kind of games Ashton was referring to, but his mind wandered there anyways. Did he expect Luke to be some kind of human puppet and hang him from the ceiling? 

Luke had never considered something that extreme when he signed the contract, and he wished he had. Maybe he wouldn't have done it. But it was too late now, and he had no choice but to do what they told him to, even if that meant they'd hang him from the ceiling like a rag doll.   
He tore his attention away from the hooks to land on Ashton again, his lip pulled tightly between his teeth. Ashton was bigger than him. He was stronger, taller, and knew what he was doing, while Luke was pretty much powerless to stop him. On top of that, Luke was outnumbered. There were three of them, all with what Luke was assuming were the same intentions, and there was only one of him. If that was what Ashton wanted to do with him, there was a very good chance he wouldn’t have a choice, whether he was ready or not. He didn't have any idea how he was supposed to be ready for any sort of game that involved hooks in a ceiling. 

“But that won’t be for a while. I’m not what you’d call vanilla.” Ashton stated simply, as if Luke hadn’t begun to panic at the mention of industrial hook screws in the ceiling. “Mikey likes to play it safe, though. You won’t want to play games with me for a while. Even then, nothing until you’re ready.”

“Why not just get it over with?” Luke wondered, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he wanted. 

“That would be beyond counterproductive.” Michael explained. 

“Why?”

“If you’re not ready, then forcing you into it would only make it take longer for you to acclimate to this, and it might even make that impossible.” Ashton replied. “Talking it out is one thing. Actually acting on it--that’s different.”

“How do you know if I’ll ever get used to this?”

“You can get used to anything.”

Luke’s voice was timid but at the same time forceful. He didn’t understand why they were waiting, and that scared him almost as much as the thought of them ever deciding to act on everything they had just mentioned. “Then why not get it over with? It’s not like I’m going anywhere. What does it matter if it takes me a long time to get used to this?” Luke gestured to Michael and Ashton’s hands.

“You’re making it sound like you’d like us to hurt you. Is that what you want?” Ashton asked.

“It’s just ripping off a bandage, right?”

Ashton shook his head as Luke sat up. Ashton moved from his place next to Calum to sit beside Luke, his hand still holding the younger boy’s. Michael’s hand slid down Luke’s thigh to above his knee.

“We don’t actually want you to be unhappy, Luke,” Michael said, a frown etched into his features.

Luke didn't believe that at all. 

“How am I supposed to know when I’m ready?” 

“Everything will be green,” Ashton replied. 

“You’ll be comfortable with us.” Calum added. 

“Maybe you’ll even be the one to initiate it.” 

“If you don’t know, you’re not ready.” Michael’s tone was gentle, “And that’s okay.”

Luke frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Ashton asked softly.

“I don’t like not knowing when it’s going to happen,” Luke admitted.

Michael nodded, rubbing his thumb against Luke’s thigh.

“I understand that. It might not ever happen. You don’t need to worry, we’re not going to jump you or anything,” Michael began, “You’ll know, because you’ll be ready, and we’ll talk about it.”

“What if I’m ready now?” Luke asked.

“You’re not.” The three chorused.

Luke shook his head. It would be easier to get whatever it was that they wanted to do with him over with so that he could try to be okay with it whenever it next happened.

“S-sure I am,” he said weakly, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Ashton looked skeptically at Luke. “Then you’re never going to be ready, because you’re definitely not ready right now.”

Well, Ashton wasn’t wrong.

“I’m ready, I swear. Everything is green.” Luke insisted without looking Michael or Ashton in the eyes.

Michael raised his eyebrows. “How green is green?” he asked the younger boy.

“You—you can do whatever you want to me,” Luke said.

Michael slid his hand up Luke’s thigh to sit just at the seam of his jeans. Luke tensed, and Michael moved his hand away again. “See, you’re not ready.”

“No, no I was just,” Luke hesitated, “Surprised, is all. I’m ready, I swear.”

“Luke, you don’t have to be ready." Calum said softly. "It’s okay for us to wait.”

Luke shook his head. “I don’t want to wait, I just want to do it.”

Michael sighed. “We can’t, Luke.”

“Why not?” Luke demanded weakly.

“We have the stoplight system so that you can tell us when to stop or slow down if we’re going too far. You clearly won’t use it how it’s intended to be used, so it’s too dangerous. We could seriously hurt you, both mentally and physically if you don’t tell us to stop, which you’re not going to do,” Ashton explained.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

“Luke, you don’t even want us to start.”

“Yes, I do,” Luke insisted, almost begged.

Michael and Ashton exchanged a look.

“Luke tell me what color this is,” Michael ordered as he squeezed Luke’s thigh.

“Green,” Luke replied.

“And here?” Michael’s hand moved to the seam of Luke’s jeans again.

“Green,” Luke said, too quickly.

“Luke,” Ashton warned.

“It’s green,” Luke insisted, “I’m just nervous. It’s still green.”

“You’re lying.”

“No I’m not. It’s green. All green. Everything is green.”

Michael sighed and shook his head. “If you’re not going to tell the truth, we’re not going to do anything, Luke.”

“You’re not going to do anything if I tell you the truth either,” Luke retorted with a sudden rush of confidence.

Ashton adjusted his seat on the bed so that he was facing Luke full on. “If you really want to keep going, just for the sake of getting it over with, like you said, then we can do that, but only if you’re going to be honest with us.”

“Now you’re the one lying.”

Ashton’s fist clenched at his side.

“Don’t cross me, Luke. That’s a game you don’t want to play,” Ashton said lowly.

Luke flinched and stopped talking. Ashton did not take kindly to being provoked. He knew he was trying to get a rise out of them, but it would make them get it over with. Besides, it was sex. Everyone talked about sex like it was a good thing. He wondered how bad it could possibly be. He needed to know.

“Hey, play nice, he has a point,” Michael added. “Luke, if you really do want this, we’ll do it.”

“As long as you’re honest,” Ashton amended. 

“I’m being honest.”

“No you’re not.” Calum deadpanned.

“Just because I’m a little bit on edge doesn’t mean I’m not ready or that I don’t want it to happen,” Luke lied.

“Can I kiss you, then?” Michael asked blankly.

“What?”

“Can I kiss you? If you want us to keep going, then I want to kiss you, so can I?”

“Y-Yeah, okay,” Luke said quietly, his confidence diminished instantaneously by Michael’s request. Michael was calling his bluff, but he wasn’t going to give into the older man that easily.

Michael leaned into Luke, his hand pressing into Luke’s thigh to hold himself up. He lifted his other hand to Luke’s cheek and pressed his lips into the corner of Luke’s mouth, then again to the center. Luke kissed back, softly. He wasn’t going to back down.

Ashton removed his hand from Luke’s and moved it to Luke’s shoulder, rubbing it gently as Michael pushed Luke back onto the pillows. Michael moved his hand from Luke’s leg to the bed beside their chests so that he wouldn’t crush Luke beneath him. The two continued to kiss for several seconds before Michael pulled away, sitting upright.   
Luke’s cheeks were pink as he stared up at the ceiling. Michael ran his thumb over the blush on Luke’s cheek as he spoke.

“How was that?” Michael asked, “What color?”

“Good. Green. Definitely green,” Luke replied, his eyes still on the ceiling.

That wasn’t torture like he had been expecting. It was gentle. It was okay. He had been kissed before, and was actually comfortable doing so. He could do that again. 

Michael smirked. “You’re lying.”

"Michael," Calum warned.

“What?” Luke exclaimed, sitting up on his elbow, “No I’m not, I swear! I swear, I’m—I’m not.”

Ashton sighed. “We know, Luke, he’s messing with you.”

Luke huffed and dropped back to the pillows.

“Funny,” he said dryly before he let out a weak laugh.

“Do you want to keep going?” Michael asked.

Luke nodded.

“Use your words, Luke,” Ashton prompted.

“Yes,” Luke replied, “Yeah, keep going.” His voice was still timid, but Michael had promised they’d continue if he was being honest, and even if Luke was hesitant, he wasn’t lying when he said kissing the older man was okay. 

Michael leaned back into Luke, kissing him again. This time his hands roamed Luke’s chest. He felt the soft ridges of Luke’s muscles through his shirt as he worked his way down to his hips. When his hand reached underneath Luke’s shirt, he stopped his movements, only kissing the boy. When Luke didn’t indicate he wanted Michael to stop, the older man continued to feel his way up Luke’s chest as they kissed. Luke’s hands were sitting comfortably on Michael’s biceps, not pushing him away, but not pulling him closer either.   
Luke gasped as Michael’s thumb brushed over his nipple. 

Michael mumbled against Luke’s lips. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Luke said breathlessly. 

“Good boy,” Calum praised.

Michael’s thumb continued to circle Luke’s nipple and Ashton began running his hand through Luke’s hair, scratching his scalp lightly. Luke whined softly at the sensations, his hands falling to the bed beside his face. Michael grinned at this and tweaked Luke’s nipple, which made the younger boy squirm beneath him. While it felt good, he was still outrageously far from his comfort zone. Michael began kissing down Luke’s neck as he moved his free hand down to Luke’s waist. Luke’s breathing was ragged and heavy and he shuddered when Michael slid down and pushed his shirt up his torso, revealing the younger boy’s skin. He was so overwhelmed by it all that he was nearly on the verge of tears.

Michael kissed down the center of Luke’s chest and his fingers ghosted over the button of Luke’s jeans. He undid the button before returning his attention to Luke’s torso, kissing along the soft line of muscle at his hips. Michael nipped the skin lightly and Luke let out a whine as he squeezed his eyes shut. Ashton brushed Luke’s fringe from his face.

Michael hooked his fingers into the waistband of Luke’s jeans. “All good?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, all good,” he replied quietly. He didn’t mean it.

Michael kissed Luke’s hip once more before slowly tugging Luke’s jeans down just past his knees, leaving just his underwear. Luke took a deep breath, and Ashton took Luke’s hand in his own again. Michael moved up so that he was now face to face with Luke, kissing his jaw softly. One of Michael’s hands found Luke’s free one, and the other traced along them hem of Luke’s briefs. The tented material told Michael that Luke was excited, but he slowed down. Michael’s fingers followed the seam of the fabric along Luke’s thigh as he kissed the corner of Luke’s lips. The younger boy was mentally preparing himself for Michael to shift his touch just a few inches to the right, to where no one but Luke had ever dared to venture.

“Still good?” Michael asked, his voice lower.

“Still good,” Luke murmured.

He was so sure he didn’t believe his own words at all anymore, but he wasn’t about to back down. He was going to make it out in one piece. 

Michael’s fingers moved to the front of Luke’s briefs, hovering at the waistband. His thumb traced the bulge in the fabric lightly, and Luke shuddered, his body tensing for a moment before relaxing again. He needed to let this happen. If he just kept his eyes closed he could pretend Michael’s hand was his own.

“Luke what’s your color?” Ashton asked quietly, murmuring into Luke’s ear.

Luke didn’t respond.

“Luke,” Ashton warned.

Luke replied weakly, avoiding answering Ashton directly. “N-not red.”

Michael kissed Luke’s cheek, “That’s not green.” he prompted.

“It’s not red,” Luke whispered, “don’t stop if it’s not red.”

Michael’s hand encased the bulge in Luke’s briefs gently, which caused Luke to let out a whimper. Michael steadily stroked Luke through his briefs, feeling the bulge grow. Luke’s toes curled and his entire body stiffened slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by the trio, who exchanged a quick glance before focusing their attention on the younger boy. 

Luke let out a sound between a sigh and a grunt, tugging his lip between his teeth once again. The flesh was raw and he could taste the dried blood from biting it so many times. Michael’s touch felt so good, but it was Michael’s touch, and it was foreign to him. He couldn’t will himself to move past that fact, as much as he tried.

Ashton returned to running his fingers through Luke’s hair, and Michael kissed Luke again as he slid his hand up to the waistband of Luke’s briefs. Michael began to pull the elastic of the briefs down, and Luke’s grip on Michael and Ashton’s hands tightened. The younger boy was physically bracing himself for what was next to come. Michael stopped his movements, returning Luke’s briefs to their original position before bringing his hand up to cup Luke’s cheek.

“No,” Michael murmured. “No, you’re red,” Luke didn’t respond, his eyes still closed. His lip slid from between his teeth. “We’re not going to keep going right now, alright?”

Luke let out a shaky breath, his face contorting into a frown. This only meant that it would happen another time, and he wouldn’t be as prepared for it. He had so little control, and he just lost the little bit that he had. 

Michael sighed and helped Luke to pull his jeans back up his legs. He buttoned them for Luke before pulling the younger boy into his arms so that they were spooning. Michael’s arm crossed over Luke’s chest and held his shoulder, and his legs intertwined with the younger boy’s. It felt like a lead weight was pinning him to the bed, but it was oddly comforting, as if Michael was holding him close so that he wouldn’t fall apart.

“Hey,” Michael said softly, “You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s alright, it’s okay to not be okay, you know.”

“I’m not ready,” Luke admitted in a whisper.

“I know,” Michael sighed, “I know.”

Ashton stroked the back of Luke’s hand with his thumb. The younger boy still hadn’t opened his eyes. “We don’t expect you to be ready.” 

“I don’t want to wait,” Luke whimpered.

“Yes you do,” Calum countered evenly, “but you don’t want it to come as a surprise, do you?”

“No,” Luke mumbled, shoving his face into the pillow.

“It won’t. Give it some time. It’s alright.” Michael hummed against Luke’s neck. “You don’t have to hide.” 

Luke shook his head. “I’m not—I’m not ready,” he repeated.

“I know, Luke, it’s okay. You don’t have to be ready. We’re going to give it time, and if you’re still not ready then, that’s when we’ll talk about it, okay? You don’t have to be ready right now. Or ever if you don’t want to be.”

Luke pulled his hand free of Ashton’s and shuffled out of Michael’s arms. It was too much. He was so sure he’d be able to handle whatever they did, even if he didn’t like it, but he was wrong. He had no idea how he was going to survive if this was going to be how every day went. 

“Do you want us to leave you alone?” Ashton asked softly, “We can stay—we should, really—but we can also give you some space if you’d like.”

Luke shrugged ever so slightly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be alone, but he definitely didn’t want them to touch him. He needed them to get away from him so he could breathe.

“Alright, then. We’ll be in our room if you need us.” Ashton said gently, standing up. “This bathroom connects to your room if you’d rather be in there,” he added as an afterthought from the doorway. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Okay,” Luke whispered. 

Michael stood up and joined Ashton and Calum in the doorway.

“Really, Luke, I know you’re worried we don’t want you here or something. That’s not an issue right now. You’ve only been here a couple of hours. This is going to take time.” Ashton explained. “And that’s okay. That’s normal.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Michael echoed.

The door clicked shut and Luke curled in on himself, his arms wrapping around his torso to hold himself together. He felt like he could fall apart if he moved. Hot tears slipped down his cheeks and into the pillow and a sob racked his body.

He wasn’t ready to do this. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready but he certainly wasn’t ready yet, and he didn’t know what that would mean to Ashton and Michael and Calum. They were obviously ready. He wasn’t going to be able to handle living with them if it was going to be like this. To make it worse, he had no choice but to submit himself to whatever they asked of him. He was as much their property as the television in their room was, and just like the tech, he was entirely under their control. 

This was the price his had to pay for his family to be okay again. He hoped it had been worth it, but he knew he’d never know. 

His fingers pressed into his sides and he forced himself to focus on the rise and fall of his chest as he took several deep breaths. He remembered that Ashton had said he could go in the other bedroom and they wouldn’t bother him for anything, and he walked quickly into the room, closing the bedroom and bathroom doors and backing up until the back of his legs hit the bed. He wiped fresh tears off his cheeks and sniffed.  
Neither of the doors had locks, but he still felt better knowing he wasn’t going to have to face any of them until he was ready--assuming that Ashton was telling the truth when he said they’d leave him be. He sat down onto the bed and tugged a pillow into his lap, hugging it close to his chest to feign some kind of comfort as he stared at the desk blankly. 

He didn't know what to do.


	2. Two - JULY 18

Hours later, Luke wandered down the hall, pausing in the doorway to the master bedroom. He had changed into a hoodie and sweatpants that pooled at his feet slightly—clothes from the closet. The sleeves of his hoodie were pulled past his fingertips and scrunched into his palms, his arms crossed across his chest. From his place in bed closest to the door, Calum squinted at Luke, having obviously heard the younger boy coming down the hall. He climbed out of bed and walked over to the blond boy.

“Hey, you alright?” he whispered, closing the bedroom door behind him.

He led Luke the few steps to the top of the stairs, and sat down. Luke followed him to the ground when Calum gestured for him to take a seat.

The younger of the two folded his arms over his chest. “Don’t like the dark,” Luke said quietly, an excuse as to why he was wandering the house at midnight. The truth was he couldn’t sleep, and the bedroom walls had started to close in on him. 

“Why didn’t you say something earlier? We could’ve sorted it out.”

“Don’t want to bother you.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about that. I would’ve checked on you, but I thought you had already gone to sleep. Did Mikey or Ash not stop in before they went to bed?”

Luke shook his head. “Someone turned off the lights.”

Calum didn’t press Luke for more. He didn’t say anything for several seconds, only watching Luke, who fidgeted under his gaze. The younger boy didn’t know what else to say, which lead Calum to speak first.

“Here, let’s go see if we can make the room feel more like your own.”

Calum stood up and held out a hand to help Luke stand. He didn’t let go once Luke was upright, making a point of holding Luke’s hand until they got to the bedroom. Calum turned on the bathroom light and closed the door so that the light leaked from beneath it, then did the same with the closet. He turned to Luke.

“Better?” Luke nodded once. “Talk to me,” Calum prompted.

“It’s better.”

“But?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you know?”

Luke shrugged. “It’s new.”

Calum nodded and smiled. “That’s not a bad thing, but I get what you mean,” he said, “Try and get some sleep. If you give it a few days it’ll start to feel more like home.”

Luke didn’t respond. He stared at the unmade bed as if it had all of the answers he was looking to find. It didn’t. Calum smiled softly, and Luke opened his mouth to say something, then shut it. Luke didn’t want to be alone, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted Calum as company either. He decided saying nothing was in his best interest, at least until he knew them all a bit better.  
“Do you want me to stay with you?”

Luke looked to Calum, bit his lip, and nodded. Maybe if he let them see how scared he was they'd be less inclined to take him back into the playroom. 

Calum walked over to the bed and pulled back the blankets. “Come on then, into bed you get.”

Luke obeyed and Calum climbed into bed beside the younger boy. The closeness overwhelmed Luke and he took a deep breath.

He shifted to put a space between the two of them. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it. This is what I’m here for, alright?”

“Okay,” Luke whispered.

Luke left a gap between the two of them. Even though he appreciated the company, he still wanted to be fairly far away from Calum.

“What’s your color?”

“Green.”

Calum pulled Luke into his chest and tugged the blankets up over their shoulders. Luke froze, waiting for something to happen, then relaxed into the mattress when he realized Calum only intended for them to sleep.

“Get some rest,” the older of the two murmured, “I’ve got you.”

***

Calum woke up to Luke attempting to squirm out of his arms.

“What’re you doin’?” he mumbled, tightening his hold on Luke, his eyes not open yet.

“Sorry,” Luke whispered. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

He tried again to pull Calum’s arms off of his waist.

“Where are you going? It’s still dark out.”

“I have to use the bathroom,” Luke admitted quietly.

Calum let out a chuckle and let the younger boy go, letting him slip across the room and into the restroom. As soon as Luke climbed back into bed, Calum pulled him into his chest again, this time on his other side. Luke didn’t fuss about being so close to Calum. He had slept well in the older man’s arms and supposed falling asleep in the same place by choice wouldn’t kill him. 

“You’re warm,” Luke mumbled, feeling the need to fill the silence, his head pressed into the space beneath Calum’s chin.

“I’ve been told,” Calum hummed. He brushed Luke’s hair from his forehead. “How are you feeling?” he asked the younger boy.

“I dunno,” Luke replied. 

He really didn’t. He was comfortable exactly where he was, as long as nothing happened in the playroom again, but that wasn’t realistic, especially given what Michael and Ashton had done.

“What do you know?”

Luke shifted so he could look Calum in the eyes. 

“Why do you ask that?”

“I’m asking you to think. You aren’t actually acknowledging your feelings by saying you don’t know. So, what do you know?”

Luke thought for a moment before replying. “You know me better than I do.”

Calum raised his eyebrows.

“That’s not true, is it? Why do you think that?” he asked, surprised by Luke’s response.

“Michael and Ashton knew when to stop before I even said something, kind of, and you knew I wanted you to stay here before I had thought to ask,” Luke explained. “I’m not used to it, but it’s nice.”

Calum laughed lightly. “I’m not surprised that you’re not used to anything about this, Luke,” he replied, “You’ve been here less than a day. I am surprised that you think we know you better than you do, though. We don’t, don’t get me wrong, but we’re decent at reading people. Even if you’re not talking, your body language says a lot about you.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” Luke said quietly. “What does my body language say about me right now?”

Calum looked at the younger boy for a moment.

“You’re comfortable. More than you were when you arrived, at least,” he began. “We’re a little bit nicer than you thought we would be, yeah?”

Luke didn’t answer, tucking his head back into Calum’s chest. He wasn’t sure if that was true at all. They weren't the typical old men who made Purchases, but they certainly weren't better. Just different. He was relieved that they hadn’t kept going, which he supposed was nice, but they expected him to eventually be willing to do whatever it was that they had started to do, and that was not nearly as nice. It was terrifying. They were terrifying. Even Calum was terrifying, and Calum hadn’t even done anything yet.

“Hmm?” Calum prompted.

“Yeah. Nice I guess, but also scary.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You didn’t just get it over with,” Luke said quietly. “Well, almost, but then you stopped and made sure I was okay.”

“I see. And were you?”

“I wanted to be,” Luke insisted.

“I have a feeling that’s not entirely true,” Calum said softly.

“I wanted to get it over with.”

“That doesn’t mean you were okay with it, which is why it stopped. Why’re you hiding from me?”

Luke didn’t move his head from the space beneath Calum’s chin, despite Calum trying to gently pry him away. He didn’t answer for a long second, hoping he could drag out the silence until Calum moved onto a different question. When he didn’t, Luke squeezed his eyes shut and whispered, “I’m still scared.”

“Of me?” Calum asked tenderly. Luke nodded and buried himself further into Calum’s chest. Calum rubbed Luke’s back. “I’m not going to do anything to you right now, Luke. Why are you scared?”

Luke felt nauseous. Actually, he felt vulnerable, and small, and lost, and to make it worse, Calum still wanted to know why he felt that way. Luke answered quickly this time, attempting to get all of the words out in one breath so that he wouldn’t have time to back out and give Calum a reason to be mad at him.

“I’m scared that—that you’ll hurt me. Or, or that you won’t want me, or that you do want—me.”  
Calum’s head tilted to the side, his chin pressed into the top of Luke’s head gently. “You’re scared that I do want you?”

Luke nodded against Calum’s chest.

“And that I might not want you?”

Luke nodded again.

“You’ve lost me. Talk me through that one.” Calum tried again to pull Luke back, but Luke wouldn’t let him, clinging tightly to Calum’s side.

“I’m scared because—because I don’t know if I want to be here, and if I don’t, I’m scared that you do.” Luke paused. “And if I do want to be here, I’m scared that—that you won’t want me.”

“Have you considered the possibility that we might want the same thing?”

Luke didn’t respond. He had, and that scared him too. He was scared that they’d force him to sleep with them, or that they’d sell him to someone who would be far worse. Regardless, he couldn’t see a good outcome.

“If it comes to that, and you’re not happy, or we’re not happy, we’ll worry about it then. The goal is for all of us to be happy. For now, let’s just try to make this work. All we want is for you to be happy. It hasn’t even been a day. Hasn’t even been half a day, I don’t think. Do you think we can do that? Just try to make it so everyone's happy?” Luke nodded, and Calum tried again to pry the younger boy off of him. “Why won’t you look at me?”

“If I can’t see your face I don’t have to face you.” Luke mumbled.

“I don’t think that’s quite how it works,” Calum laughed. He paused. “I’d never hurt you. I know that’s the kind of trust that I have to earn, but it’s still true, even if you don’t believe me yet.”

“I believe you,” Luke murmured. “I think.” he paused for a moment, mustering the courage to speak his mind, and the second he had the guts to speak, he did, the words tumbling from his lips and into Calum’s chest, each syllable muffled. “I don’t know. I want to believe you. I don’t—I don’t want to be scared of you. I want—I dunno—just. I—you scare me, and—and I don’t want that. I want to believe you won’t hurt me, I do, but I don’t know if I do. And I know you—you want me to believe you, and to trust you, and—well, I don’t really, because I can’t really say I do if I’m not sure because you either do or don’t, there’s no grey space—but I don’t want to upset you. I just—I want to believe you. I promise.”

Calum didn’t answer, and Luke felt the panic filling his veins like ice water. He wanted Calum to say something so that he knew that everything was either okay, or not okay. He felt like every moment Calum didn’t speak, the older man was planning something terrible, which didn’t even make sense, since it had only been five seconds at most. Luke was about to speak again, just to fill the silence with something, when Calum opened his mouth.

“I’m glad.” Luke let out a relieved sigh at Calum’s words. “I want you to believe me too, but even if you don’t, it’s still true that I don’t want to hurt you. I mean it. The same goes for the other two, you know. They’d never hurt you. We stopped what we were doing for a reason.”

Luke didn't believe that. Between the handcuffs, and the rope, and the hooks in the ceiling, Luke couldn't picture a scenario where they didn't want to hurt him in some way. That being said, he didn't think the trio were trying to hurt him earlier. It had felt good, and it was something he had asked for, and there had been no handcuffs involved. 

There were a few moments of silence before Luke spoke again. “I liked it, though,” he said quietly. “It felt good.”

“I bet you did. Mike's pretty good at making you feel good. We all are. That doesn’t mean you wanted it, or that it was okay with you, or that we should’ve continued.”

“When am I supposed to be okay with it?”

Calum chuckled and rubbed Luke’s back gently.

“You’ll be okay with it when you’re okay with it, and that’s just fine,” he insisted. “Besides, it’s not like there aren’t other means of feeling good. There’s no rule saying you can’t make yourself feel good. Not yet, at least, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“That’s different,” Luke whined. It wasn't about him getting off. He wasn't nervous when it came to that. He didn't know how he was supposed to be just fine with the idea of sleeping with them when he didn't know anything about what he was getting into. 

“That’s kinda the point, but there’s an entire array of things you can do that fall somewhere in the middle ground if you want,” Calum reminded the younger boy.

Luke wanted to be okay with anything they wanted to do with him. That way he wouldn’t be so scared. That way maybe he wouldn’t feel like he was trapped. But the truth was he simply wasn’t okay with anything they wanted to do with him. He wasn’t ready for something like that. 

“Yeah,” Luke sighed.

“It’s okay to not be okay with it,” Calum said, repeating what Michael had said earlier.

“But then I don’t know when it’s going to happen. It’s like sitting in a lions’ den.”

“Hey, I’m much more of a dog person. No associating me with cats. Cats? They’re the real evil, alright? Not me. I’m a dog person. I’m one of the good guys. I promise.”

Luke peeked up at Calum before tucking his head back into the older man’s chest.

“Being circled by a pack of wolves doesn’t sound so great either,” Luke said quietly.

“I know. Don’t let it occupy your mind right now. Just let things happen as they do, and you’ll be just fine. If anything you’ll be better than fine, because we’ll spend a lot of time figuring out exactly what you do and don’t like. What you're comfortable with. It’s better in the long run.”

“How are you going to do that?” Luke asked. “How do you figure out what I like if you don’t do anything?”

“Who said we wouldn’t do anything?”

Luke frowned and looked up at Calum again, holding eye contact. 

“You did.”

“No, I said we won’t fuck you,” Calum clarified, and Luke bit his lip. That was blunt. “Not that we wouldn’t have a bit of fun doing other things.”

Other things. Luke’s mind wandered back to the box labelled handcuffs and he felt his heart rate pick up, pounding in his ears. That didn't sound much better at all. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what Calum had in mind. 

“Oh.”

“Nothing you’re not ready for,” Calum reminded Luke. “I promise.”

“What am I actually ready for, then?” Luke asked nervously, scared to know the answer.

Calum raised one eyebrow, surprised. “Do you want me to show you?”

Luke nodded. If Calum was only going to do something he was ready for, then by default he’d be able to handle it. He had to learn to be okay with it or they'd put him on the Block again and he couldn't risk that. 

“Are you sure?”

Luke nodded again, heart racing in his chest and pounding in his ears. He wasn’t sure at all, but he knew, logically, that there was nothing to be scared of, as long as Calum was telling the truth, and wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t ready for. 

Calum shifted so that Luke was part way beneath him. “You have to say it out loud for me. I need to hear you say it.”

It was dark in the room, but Luke was sure Calum could still make out the blush on his cheeks. 

Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I—I want you to show me.”

“Good boy.”

Calum hovered over Luke, studying the boy’s face for a moment. “I have a feeling you got pretty far with Michael before you were well and truly red,” he began. "But I don't think that's a good place to start. I can kiss you, can’t I?”

Luke nodded, and Calum smirked, kissing the spot where Luke’s jaw connected to his neck, just below his ear. Luke let out the breath he was holding. This was okay. He had kissed people before. Calum wasn’t doing anything new.

“Still green?”

“Yeah,” Luke whispered.

"I think kissing you is plenty for tonight," Calum murmured into Luke's neck, but Luke shook his head. He wanted Calum to keep going. 

“I know you can handle more but I think we should take it slow."

"No," Luke whined, "I want—I want you to show me."

Calum sighed and nodded. "Alright, but only a little more. I don't want to push you."

"You won't," Luke promised. It was an empty promise, but he made it anyways, hoping Calum would take it to mean he could continue. 

"I can get a little handsy right? As long as I keep my hands up here?” Calum slid his hands up Luke’s hoodie and brushed his thumbs over Luke’s nipples, eliciting a gasp from the younger boy.

Luke answered with a whimper. He was timid again, his eyes closed. He tried to calm his nerves. It felt good, and it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle, but this? This was new. He had never done this with anyone before. Maybe Calum was right. 

“But not too handsy. That still makes you nervous,” Calum noted.

Luke nodded shyly, eyes opening again. Calum wasn’t going to push him if he wasn’t ready. He didn’t move, not wanting to startle Calum into doing anything new, but not entirely wanting to stop him either.

“I bet you’d let me touch your ass,” Calum said against Luke’s neck. “You have a nice one, you know. But I think I’ll stick to these,” he tweaked Luke’s nipples again, gently. “Since you like it. Tell me what color this is.”

“Green,” Luke whined and arched into Calum’s touch.

Calum’s fingers continued to roll over Luke’s nipples as he sucked on the boy’s neck. Luke’s eyes had fallen shut again, and his hands were gripping the sheets beside him. Calum didn’t let up. His lips found Luke’s. The longer Calum spent rolling Luke’s nipples between his fingers beneath his hoodie, the needier Luke became. But he wasn’t nervous. 

He writhed beneath Calum, whimpering into the older boy’s mouth. Calum ground lightly into Luke, and Luke whined again. He did it again and Luke shifted his hips to meet him. He repeated his actions, continuing to do the movements that elicited the best reaction from the younger boy.  
Luke whimpered at the sensations, his breath hitching and his mind racing a mile a minute. One hand came up to grip Calum’s side tightly, his nails pressing crescent shaped marks into the tan skin as he willed himself to stop overthinking what Calum was doing. It felt good, and that was all there was to it. It did him no good to worry about things Calum wasn’t doing, when what he was doing felt so good.

When Luke couldn’t keep even remotely still, he knew he was at the edge. Calum settled into a steady rhythm of grinding his hips into Luke’s. It was a shallow movement, but it caused Luke to tilt his head back, his eyes squeezed shut and his nose scrunched. Calum took the opportunity to kiss down Luke’s neck and back up to his jaw before returning to the boy’s lips.

“I’m—I—I—”

“Let go, Luke,” Calum hummed against Luke’s cheek, “You can let go.”

“O-Okay,” Luke whispered, his eyes opening, “Oh god.”

Calum smirked and ground into Luke’s hips one last time, and Luke let out a whine, his body stiffening as he released. He breathing was erratic and shallow. Calum’s hands ran up and down Luke’s sides gently as the younger boy came down from his high.

When Luke finally relaxed into the pillows, Calum spoke.

“How did that feel?” Calum asked quietly. “How do you feel?” he brushed Luke’s hair out of his face as the younger boy nodded. “Talk to me, Luke,” he ordered, his tone gentle.

“Green,” Luke whispered, his eyes falling shut once again. Now that it had ended he could comfortably say that it had been green. That was what people talked about when they said it felt good. 

Calum chuckled. “I’ll take that to mean it was good.” 

Luke made a somewhat positive hum, nodding his head. Calum laughed quietly.

“Middle ground.” He rubbed Luke’s side. “We don’t have to go all the way for both of us to be happy and comfortable.”

Luke hummed again, a shy smile playing on his lips. Calum kissed Luke’s forehead, sat up slowly, and pushed the blankets back. 

“I’m going to get a washcloth. Sticky’s not fun to sleep in. I’ll be right back, alright? Give me thirty seconds?”

Luke nodded, eyes still closed. He listened as Calum hopped out of bed and quickly went to the bathroom, running a cloth beneath the tap for a moment before ringing it out and returning to Luke’s side. He sat on the edge of the bed. Luke’s eyes were still closed, but he knew Calum could see, despite the dark, that Luke was blushing crimson.

Now that the moment had ended, Luke was embarrassed that he had liked it so much. He was confused, too, considering it hadn’t been that different from what Michael and Ashton had started to do, but he hadn’t been okay with that.  
He let out a shaky breath, opened his eyes, and chewed on his bottom lip harshly. 

Calum held up the washcloth. “Do you want me to do it?” he asked. “Or should I find you something clean to put on while you clean up?”

Luke nodded, dazed, and Calum chuckled.

“Doesn’t really answer my question, now does it?”  
Luke shook his head and opened his eyes.

“So which is it?”

“Second one,” Luke murmured, embarrassed. 

Calum handed the washcloth to Luke and walked over to the closet, looking through the clothing. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and waited a moment before turning around. Luke held his briefs and sweats in one hand, the cloth in the other. The blanket was pulled up to his waist.

“Here,” Calum said, stepping towards Luke again, “hand me that and put these on instead. And lose the hoodie as well. It’s going to make you too hot. You won’t want it, I promise.”

“Okay,” Luke said quietly, instead of fighting with Calum to keep the sweatshirt on like he wanted to.

He was too tired to do much more than agree with everything Calum was telling him, so he handed the dirty clothing and washcloth to Calum, who tossed them into the laundry basket in the corner before climbing back into bed beside Luke. The older of the two pulled Luke into him again, their bare chests touching. Luke tucked his head back into Calum’s chest, hiding.

“You alright?” Calum asked.

“Yeah,” Luke hummed.

“Still scared of me?”

Luke shook his head. He wasn’t scared, he was just nervous. He didn’t like how small he felt now that they had done that. He felt vulnerable, and he didn’t want to feel that way, especially when he knew that they didn’t feel the same emotional nakedness. Calum radiated confidence and tranquility. Luke imagined he was radiating anxiety in waves. 

“Hmm?” Calum prompted.

“No, I’m not scared of you.”

“Why are you hiding then? Are you embarrassed?”

Luke nodded.

“What about?”

Luke shrugged.

“Well, don’t be. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides, you look really, really good when you’re on edge like that.”

Luke let out an embarrassed whimper into Calum’s chest, not looking up.

“Hey, I thought it was great.” Calum said lightly, prodding Luke’s side a few times.

Luke yelped and tried to squirm away from Calum’s fingers. He giggled and looked up at the older man, and Calum stopped.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.”

“Go back to sleep then. It’s still early.”

It was silent for a minute. Luke’s mind was racing and his cheeks were burning, but he was okay. He took a deep breath.

“Me too,” Luke admitted in a whisper, “I—I thought it was great, too.”

***

Luke and Calum woke up to the smell of eggs and toast wafting through the house and Michael opening the bedroom door to check on the two of them.

“Up you get,” Michael said tiredly. “Ashton made breakfast.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand and turned on the light with the other. 

Calum groaned, “Why does he do this at the crack of dawn? Every single time it’s his turn we all have to get up before the sun,” he grumbled as he climbed out of bed, tugging the blankets back from a sleepy Luke.

“Wake up, Luke,” Michael repeated.

Luke hummed and sat up. Calum and Michael were watching him from the doorway.

“Ashton made us breakfast. Come on down and eat.”

Luke nodded and hopped out of bed, immediately turning to straighten the blankets before he followed Calum and Michael from the room and down to the kitchen. He was still yawning while he helped Michael to set the table.

“How’re you feeling?” Michael asked.

“I believe the word he used earlier was green,” Calum replied, setting out the toast and eggs.

“Interesting choice of words,” Ashton mused.

Michael nodded, setting the silverware out, “Good choice.” 

“I would hope so,” Calum teased.

Luke’s cheeks turned a dark shade of pink. He didn't want to talk about it. 

“Don’t be shy, Luke,” Ashton said as they all took their seats at the table, the same seats as at dinner.

“I’m—”

“New to all of this. Nervous?” Calum offered.

Luke nodded. He wasn't quite awake yet and he was already being questioned. It was a little overwhelming. 

“Words,” Ashton prompted.

“Yeah, both.”

“It’s okay. Don’t try to hide, though. It’s better to be open with us,” Michael placed his napkin in his lap before looking back up at Luke with an intense gaze that had Luke shrinking into his seat.

“Okay,” Luke said quietly.

“You’re just saying that, aren’t you?” Michael asked. “You aren’t really going to act on it?”

Luke bit his lip. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t really want to be honest, fearing how they might react either way.

“Thought so.”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough. Let him eat before the food gets cold,” Ashton stepped in.

Michael laughed when Luke dove into his food as soon as Ashton had finished talking, but he didn’t make a comment, which Luke was thankful for. He didn’t want to talk about what happened during the night. That could lead to it happening again. He wasn’t sure he was okay with that possibility.  
“I want Luke this morning. I wanna show him the studio.” Michael said.

“Go for it. Cal and I are headed into work anyways.”

Luke watched as his day was planned out before him. He assumed that was how his life would be from then on. Everyone else would decide what he would do. 

“I’ll take him for the afternoon,” Calum said.  
“I guess that means I get to spend the night with you. That’s when the real fun happens, isn’t that right, Luke?”

Luke’s face drained of color as he looked up at Ashton. He didn’t like the sound of that at all, based off of the prior evening's events, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. He thought back to Ashton's comment in the playroom about the hook screws and tried not to let his fear show on his face. Swallowing, he raised an eyebrow and offered a weak smile, instead of running up to the bedroom upstairs and never coming out, like he wanted to. 

“Oh, don’t look like that, I’m not going to kill you. I thought we’d watch a movie, or maybe go to the beach and swim.”

“Okay,” Luke said quietly. That, he could handle. Movies were fine. Swimming was fine. He would be fine.

“We have some time before everyone goes their own way. Why don’t you tell us something about you that we don’t know? You’ve been quiet.”

Luke thought for a moment before replying. Talking about himself wasn’t something he’d thought they’d want to do much of, but it was better than giving them time to plot whatever they planned to do to him. 

“When I was younger I would play guitar on the street so I could earn money.”

All three of the boys’ eyes lit up at Luke’s words.  
“You play guitar?” Calum asked.

Luke nodded.

“You’re going to love our studio.” Michael said, grinning before launching into a long and detailed description of the room.

***

When Calum and Ashton left, they gave both Luke and Michael kisses on the cheek and promised to be back in time for lunch, which made Luke blush. As soon as the door closed Michael had taken Luke’s arm and was dragging him into the studio. 

The room was bigger than Luke’s bedroom. Along one wall stood a baby grand, and a row of assorted acoustic and electric guitars, and along the wall to his left was a sofa and a desk with half a dozen computers on it. In the back right corner stood an impressive drum kit.

Michael walked over to the guitars and picked one up from its stand, bringing it over to the sofa and taking a seat.

“Go on, take one,” Michael nodded towards the stands, “You said you play, show me what you’ve got.”

Luke wandered to the stands and picked up an old acoustic. He slung the strap over his neck and ran his thumb down the strings. After a moment he began to play, letting his fingers switch between chords. It was a children’s song. Hardly more impressive than Happy Birthday.

“Oh, come on, you said you’d play on the streets. No one gives out tenners for that. Play a real song.”

Luke’s lips quirked up in a shy smile, “I’m not that good.” he warned.

“Come on,” Michael urged, ignoring Luke’s comment.

Luke sighed. Michael said to jump, and Luke was meant to ask how high. He began to play a real song. Michael simply watched, and took in every detail of Luke, from how his fingers moved effortlessly over the strings to his slightly furrowed eyebrows. Luke began to hum along to the tune he was playing, and he peeked up at Michael through his eyelashes.

“You’re very good you know,” Michael said, causing Luke to stop and look up. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean for you to stop playing. You’re really talented.”

Luke blushed, “No I’m not.” He shook his head.

“Oh, yes you are. That was really impressive. Keep going.”

Luke sat down beside Michael and picked up where he had left off, humming again. He started to sing quietly, and Michael grinned. He began to play alongside Luke, nodding his head to the rhythm.

When Luke finished the song he looked up at Michael again.

“Very good,” Michael nodded, “You should play regularly if you don’t already. I feel like this goes without saying, but you’re free to use the studio whenever you’d like. All of this is just as much yours, now, as it is ours.”

Michael dragged his fingers across the strings of his guitar before setting it down against the sofa. He pulled his knee up to his chest, his arms wrapping around it.

“What albums did you buy?” Michael asked, “You said you saved for them, which ones did you end up getting?”

“The Young and the Hopeless.”

Michael grinned, “Now that’s a good record.”

Luke nodded, “My favorite.” He picked at the guitar strings.

It was quiet for a couple minutes. 

“How are you feeling? After last night?”

Luke’s head shot up to face Michael, not expecting the subject change, “Um,” he swallowed.

Michael waited. Luke chewed on his lip, his eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t want to talk about what happened with Calum, because if he talked about it they might think that meant he wanted to do it again, which he wasn’t sure he was okay with, so until he knew how he felt, he didn’t want to talk about it. And he definitely didn’t want to talk about what happened with Michael because he definitely didn’t want to do that again, even though he wasn’t really sure how it was different from what he did with Calum—he just knew that it was.

“I…good?”

“You were so insistent that I kept going,” Michael noted. It was a question phrased as a statement, but Luke only nodded. Worry was etched into his features. He could hear his pulse in his ears again. “But you didn’t want to?”

“I did,” Luke said quickly. Too quickly.

Michael shifted and leaned against the back of the sofa, “No you didn’t. Don’t lie.”

“Sorry,” Luke squeaked. He held the guitar closer to his chest, grateful for the barrier between them.

“Don’t apologize. I get why you did it, it’s okay, just--don’t lie about it.”

“I just—you wanted to, and I—I said yes.”

“You may have said it, but you sure as hell didn’t mean it. Was that the first time you’ve ever done anything like that?” Michael asked.

Luke fumbled for the right words to offer Michael that didn’t give away the truth of the matter, “Well, the—the law says—”

“Oh, come on, you know that law means nothing. No one follows it because they have to.”

Luke blushed, Michael seeing right through him. “I—I haven’t, until now,” he admitted. “I mean—I’ve—by myself, but not—not like that.”

Michael nodded, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

Luke blushed a deeper red. He knew that it explained why he had been so nervous. It’s not like it was something he couldn’t have changed, but the fact of the matter was: he hadn’t. Getting caught breaking a law would've gone on his record, and anything on his record went in his file, and the more trouble he appeared to be, the less he would sell for. His parents got almost half of the money, so he had to do everything he could to keep himself an appealing buy. Because of that, everything Michael and Ashton and Calum had sprung on him was entirely new to him, and it made it all ten times more nerve-wracking.  

“It’s not a bad thing,” Michael backtracked, “It just makes sense, since you’re so out of your element right now. I understand.”

Luke’s cheeks turned an even darker shade of red--he could feel it, and he could only imagine how uncanny his resemblance to a ripe tomato probably was in that moment.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know. I’m not judging you for waiting.”

“Did you wait?” Luke asked.

Michael shook his head, “No, me and Cal aren’t really ones for following the rules. I was sixteen, Calum was fifteen. We didn’t get caught. We met Ash a few years later.”

They had been younger than most who decided to ignore the law. Luke obviously had a different story. Most kids who waited didn’t live at home, nor at a boarding school like Michael and Calum. If a kid waited, it usually wasn’t by choice--it was strictly enforced where Luke was from, and that made the rule very difficult to get around. Michael clearly assumed this was the case for Luke, and likely hadn't considered that Luke adhered to the law on purpose. 

“Where did you grow up?” Michael asked when Luke didn’t say anything.

He wasn’t asking about the location, and Luke knew this. “On and off the Block.”

“When did that happen?”

“I was fifteen.”

Michael nodded, unsurprised by this news as well. It was common for families to put their kids on the Block if they couldn’t afford to raise them. It kept the family going for a while, and it usually ensured that the kid would end up in an upper class home, even if they lived there as lackeys or slaves. Luke's parents made it clear that they would rather struggle than give up their children, but Luke knew they had considered it. 

Unlike Michael who probably came from a family of old money and never had to worry about being one of the many kids sent to the Block, Luke’s family struggled to raise him and his older brothers, so the day after Luke turned sixteen, he went to the Block so that his family could have enough money. He wasn’t able to celebrate his eighteenth birthday with friends and family, like he imagined Michael had. Instead he spent it at an auction house, waiting to receive a verdict on where his future rested since he was finally of age.

Living on the Block wasn’t bad by any means. It was well funded, and was essentially a cross between a boarding school and a foster home, except once there, it was pretty much a permanent arrangement. It was what happened after everyone turned eighteen. There was an option to buy freedom from the Block, but it was nearly impossible, and even if someone managed to scrape up enough money, they were left with no other cash and nowhere to go. Once there, it was better to stay and accept inevitable purchase instead of attempting to leave and live on the streets. 

“What did they tell you? When it was time?”

Luke shrugged.

“Happy Birthday, the highest bidder gets you, once you’ve been purchased all of your rights are signed to the buyer, do what they tell you.”

“Did they tell you what to expect?”

Luke shook his head, “You hear stories.”

Tales of people who were bought and treated like pets and kept in cages. People who were locked in basements for years on end for the fun of it. People who were beaten for even daring to talk back. From what Luke had heard, there were no happy endings for people on the Block. It was just a matter of how terrible it would be. 

“Well, it’s pretty obvious why we bought you,” Michael began, “We’re all horny bastards.” Michael chuckled and Luke offered a weak smile that he knew looked more like a grimace. "Okay that's not entirely true. We're definitely all horny bastards, but that's not why we bought you. The reason I showed you the playroom last night is because we spend a lot of time in there, and it's a lot less scary to know what's happening around you in a new place. You don't ever have to be involved if you don't want to. You’re still your own person, you know.”

Luke frowned, “Only sort of.”

Michael shrugged, “We may have written a check, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get a say. Especially when it comes to what we want to do in that room.”

“We can pretend that’s true, but you know it isn’t,” Luke said quietly, “There are laws—”

“Laws,” Michael scoffed, interrupting Luke, “there are laws for everything. An old man signs a piece of paper and suddenly you can’t do anything without my permission?”

Luke shrugged, “That’s how it works, I guess. It was my choice.”

“I’m assuming no one told you much about Annulments then, did they?”

Luke looked down at the guitar, the topic of conversation having quickly turned upsetting, “Barely.”

“What did they tell you? How much do you know about it?”

“They said not to get your hopes up. That it’s rare. That it’s a waste of money.” Luke looked up. “It’s just part of the deal. It’s easier to accept it than to expect a buyer to consider one. Who would ever consider it anyways? Spend all that money just to hold the door open for the person to leave? It makes sense that people don’t sign them.”

Luke looked back down at the guitar. He ran his thumb along the first string. Michael frowned and watched Luke silently finger the frets. 

Luke knew he’d never see his name on an Annulment. It was so cruel for Michael to bring it up when it was never going to happen, and Luke tried not to cry out of sheer frustration that there was nothing he could do about it. He closed his eyes and let his fingers fall from the frets.

“Ashton signed one the second he wrote the check.” Michael said. Luke froze, but he didn’t look up. “We were hoping you’d want to stay anyways. But, of course, it’s your call.”


	3. Three - JULY 19

Luke stared at Michael. He didn't believe for a second that he had been Annulled. It was too good to be true to think that he could just walk away from everything they wanted from him. Life didn't give hand outs like that. There had to be a catch. 

“Where would I go?” Luke asked after a long, tense moment, looking back down at the guitar.

“Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t—I don't know.”

He wasn't allowed to go home to his family. Not for another ten years. He couldn't afford a place to stay, or even food to stay alive. He didn't want to live on the street for a decade until he could go back to his family. He had nothing except for what he had exactly where he was. 

Michael took a deep breath. “You’ll stay?”

Luke looked up from the guitar. His next best option was living on the street, and when he had a place to stay, and people--who he was pretty sure didn’t want to hurt him--to care for him, he would be an idiot to throw that away. Especially with how much he now owed the trio for his freedom to make decisions for himself.

He knew the price tag on his head was a big one, and it would take a long time to pay it back, but he would do that before he considered leaving. He had to. He couldn’t just leave when he owed them thousands of dollars, but he wanted to. If he had a safe place to run to, he’d leave. But he didn't. He had nothing, as much as he wished he did. He was safe exactly where he was. He could learn to be happy if he tried hard enough. He was free. What more could he possibly want?

“Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

Michael frowned. 

"We wanted you to know us before you made a decision. Last night wasn't the best example, and to be honest we didn't really expect any of that to happen. At least not like that."

"Oh."

"We didn't want you leaving the second you were free just because you could. We thought it would be better for you to decide to leave because it was the option you wanted most. We wanted you to have options. Although, we don't really want you to decide to leave at all, but it's up to you."

Luke bit the inside of his cheek and braced himself for whatever Michael's reaction was going to be when he said, "I think I want to stay.”

Michael put his leg down and sat upright. He studied Luke’s face, eyebrows furrowed and smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What?” Luke asked quietly.

“I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

“Oh,” Luke’s eyes widened, not expecting that answer. He felt his breath catch in his throat. He agreed to stay and now he had to face whatever it was that they decided to do with him, but he wasn't expecting such an immediate request. 

“Can I kiss you? Not because you said you want to stay—well, no, that’s exactly why.” Michael frowned, “But not really—I mean—you’re not leaving—you don’t want to—that’s—I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of the fact you’re staying, but if—if you’re staying that means you’re at least a little bit okay with staying for the same reasons we want you to stay and—and that makes me want to kiss you—because I’m happy that’s the case—so can I—can I kiss you?”

Luke chewed on his lip and set the guitar on the floor. He looked up at Michael, lip still between his teeth, and nodded twice. It was only a kiss. He was okay with kisses. He would be okay if Michael kissed him. 

Michael grinned and reached out to take Luke’s hand in his own, tugging Luke towards him, and causing Luke to fly forwards into his chest, which sent the two backwards. Luke caught himself on the armrest by Michael’s head, and Michael laughed. Luke’s shocked expression faded and he smiled nervously.

“Oops?”

“You did that on purpose,” Luke accused lightly.

He tried to sit up, but Michael’s hand on his waist kept him on top of the older boy. Michael nodded and frowned, lips pursed. It quickly turned into a sheepish grin, his expression saying, you caught me.

“Hell yeah,” Michael confirmed.

Luke let out a breathy laugh. Michael's frown returned, a slight crease between his eyebrows formed as he studied Luke's face. 

“Can I kiss you?” Michael asked again.

Luke nodded.

“You have to say it,” Michael insisted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes.” 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, you can kiss me.”

Michael leaned up to meet Luke’s lips. Luke kissed back, timid at first, but he soon grew more comfortable, licking across Michael’s bottom lip. He at least owed Michael a proper kiss. Especially if he was only biding his time until he could leave. 

Michael faltered for a moment, clearly surprised that Luke was the one to push forward, but he parted his lips and let the kiss deepen. He let go of the hand still holding Luke’s and brought it to the back of Luke’s neck. His fingers tangled into Luke’s hair, tugging slightly. Luke let out a short moan then pulled back, his cheeks glowing crimson.

“Um,” he said, going nowhere.

“That was cute,” Michael said, “Don’t be embarrassed for liking it.”

Luke’s tongue slid across his bottom lip and Michael’s hand moved from Luke’s hair to hold the younger boy’s waist as Luke sat up. He wasn't sure he liked that Michael called it cute. 

“I liked it,” Michael added. “I wouldn’t mind it if you did that again.”

Luke’s blush turned a deeper shade of red, and he broke eye contact, looking down at Michael’s chest.

“Really, I—well, I shouldn’t push you. I’m lucky I can even get a kiss.” Michael said softly. “And I mean it, I won’t push you, but—but just know I’d be happy to do it again if you’d let me.”

Michael rolled to the side, tipping Luke off of him and onto the sofa in the space between him and the cushions. He kept one hand on Luke’s waist, the other moving up to Luke’s face. His thumb brushed over Luke’s cheek. “I like that you liked that.” he murmured.

Luke smiled and ducked his head under Michael’s chin to hide the fact the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Michael almost didn’t notice, but he did.

“What’s bothering you?” Michael asked, his arm pulling Luke into a hug.

“If I stay we’re going to have sex.” He said it bluntly, but it was meant to be a question. He hoped the answer was no.

“That’s a possibility. It could happen, yes.” Michael’s tone was light. “It's a big part of our lifestyle, so it's definitely on the table. Is that your deal breaker? Are you going to decide to leave if we want to sleep with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“What is it about sleeping with us that’s got you so worked up? Is it because you haven’t before? Are you nervous?” Michael rubbed Luke’s back, “Because you shouldn’t be nervous if that’s what it is.”

Luke shrugged. That wasn’t the problem. Not all of it, at least. He just wanted a say in the matter. 

“Are you worried that we’ll boot you out if you don’t sleep with us?”

Luke didn’t respond. Michael had hit the nail on the head. He didn’t want to stay any longer than he had to, if this was what they wanted, but he wasn’t sure he could stay at all if they kept pushing him. And if they did push him, and he couldn’t do it, they’d have no reason to keep him. 

Michael tried to shift so he could look Luke in the eyes, but Luke kept his head down.

“Fucking hell—Luke.” Michael attempted to push Luke’s chin up with his finger. “Luke—look at me—Look. At. Me. Seriously Luke, this is important. Good. Okay, now listen to me. That’s—hey, look at me so I know you hear what I’m saying—that’s not going to happen. Ever. We are not blackmailing you. It’s not an ultimatum. It’s not the price of your freedom. It's not fuck me or live on the streets—no, don’t look away, I don’t care how shy you are, I need you to believe me. I’m serious, Luke, you have to trust me, quit looking at my shirt, look at my face—we made a commitment when we brought you home. Even more so because we signed the Annulment.”

Michael shook his head.

“Fuck, Luke, it’s such a cop out to not sign the Annulment. You don’t even have to try, you just get to do whatever the fuck you want and have it go your way because you said so. That’s not how this works. We signed the Annulment. We want you to have a say.”

Michael paused, running his thumb over Luke’s cheek again.

“We want you to have a say,” he murmured gently. “We knew it wasn’t going to be easy, we knew it was a risk—you said it yourself—it’s literally a flight risk. If you want to leave, the door is absolutely open for you, but we don’t want you to go. We want to make it work, and if—hey, I know you’re trying to hide from me, but don’t—and if that means we don’t get to sleep with you, so be it.”

Luke looked up at Michael, a frown on his lips and one eyebrow raised skeptically.

“Fuck, Luke, I want to, don’t get me wrong, I want to, but I’m not going to make you. We can always go back to the auction house—hey, hey, hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m not done—you don’t even know what I was going to say.” Michael paused. “When I said we, I didn’t mean you. I’m not saying we could take you back to the auction house. First of all, we couldn’t even if we wanted to—which we don’t, let me make that perfectly clear: we don’t. But yeah, we can’t. We signed the Annulment. Second, when I said we, I meant Calum and Ashton and I. I was going to say we can always go back to the auction house and bring someone else home who will sleep with us--which, I don’t even think any of us want to do, honestly--but—I’m saying but, stop looking at me like that—we don’t want to replace you or get rid of you. This wasn’t—that’s not what this is about.”

Michael sighed when Luke looked down again.

“That wasn’t something we even considered going into this, and trust me all we did was consider for months. Calum wouldn’t shut up about the dynamics between all of us, and I can’t tell you how many studies and articles Ashton made me read to make sure that I knew where he was coming from when he was walking us through what could and couldn’t happen once he brought you home—you know he’s done this before?”

That made Luke look up, and Michael’s thumb brushed over his cheek for a second time.

“I told you that we’d all been together since we finished school? Well, Ashton’s a couple years older. He had already gone to the auction house and found someone before we even met him. They lived together for a year before deciding it wasn’t right, and Ashton helped the guy find a new arrangement. He wasn’t left on the streets, and he wasn’t resold. Ashton had a friend who was interested, and the guy literally fell in love with him. Ash was a little sad--okay, he was actually miserable because he loved the guy so much, but he found us, and it ended up being a happy ending for everyone. If that’s what happens with you, it’ll be okay. Okay?”

Luke was almost convinced, but not quite. He pretended like he was anyways.

“I—okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

“Are you saying that because you believe it or because I want you to believe it?”

“I don’t know,” Luke admitted.

Michael nodded. “Okay. That’s okay.”

They sat in silence for a little while, Michael’s hand rubbing Luke’s back gently. His eyes burned into Luke’s like it was the only thing that mattered in the world, and Luke stared back.

“You,” Michael paused, “You said you would stay.” He chose his words carefully, “So does that mean you’re willing to, at least, try?”

Luke furrowed his eyebrows as Michael spoke.

“I mean, what we want—we still have the same rules, and expectations—that hasn’t changed—and obviously what you want hasn’t either—I just,” he paused again, “Do you want what we want? Do you want this? Us? To be part of our family?”

Luke chewed on his lip, shrugged one shoulder the slightest bit, then nodded, then lied. 

“Yeah, I—I do,” Luke said softly.

There was an unspoken but. But he was scared. He was scared that Michael would call his bluff, or that he wouldn’t, and Luke would have to do something he didn’t want to do. Michael didn’t make him voice it. He thought he understood. As long as they were all willing to try to make it work, Michael was satisfied. He hugged Luke to his chest, as if to say I know, and Luke sighed, almost wishing that Michael actually did.

*** 

Luke and Ashton went for a swim after dinner, just before the sun set. The older man took Luke on a walk down to the beach, hand in hand, pointing out all of his favorite shops and restaurants along the way. Ashton wanted Luke to know that he was welcome here, just as welcome as anyone else who lived in the neighborhood. As much as he kept saying it, Luke hadn’t really caught onto it, as the younger boy was still timid and hesitant to open up to him on any front. He just didn't know what to think. 

Ashton was relaxed, carrying the beach towels over his shoulder, a case of beers in a miniature picnic basket in the hand that wasn’t intertwined with Luke’s. Luke, on the other hand, was making a point to keep his breathing even and his heart rate down as they walked down to the beach. He told himself there was no reason to be worried. Ashton wouldn’t do anything at a crowded beach. 

The beach was almost empty. Only a few stragglers remained. Ashton laid out the towels just out of reach of the soft waves rolling onto the sand. He set the basket down and kicked off his shoes, watching Luke do the same. Luke had barely spoken a word the entire walk, instead letting Ashton ramble on and on about the various Mom and Pop shops. 

“Swim with me? The water’s warm.” Ashton asked softly, holding a hand out for Luke to take again. 

Luke nodded and laced his fingers with Ashton’s. 

“New rule,” Ashton decided. “You have to actually answer questions with words. As much as I like hearing myself talk, I like hearing you talk, too.”

“Okay,” Luke agreed quietly.

They walked into the water until it was level with their knees. Ashton was right. It was warm. Warmer than the salty air that felt cooler because of the breeze rolling in with the waves. It was loud, too, but in a muted sort of way, and the noise of the restaurants and waves all faded into the background. Luke sighed and glanced up at the moon, which was only half there.

“What’re you thinking about?” Ashton asked.

Luke shrugged. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

“How so?” Ashton prompted, “I mean, I agree, it’s a lot, but what in particular has you so lost in thought?”

He pulled Luke further into the water until the waves were lapping at their waists. 

A day ago Luke thought his future was going to be entirely different. Even this morning, before Michael told him about the Annulment, he had expected everything to be different. But as of that morning he was officially a free man. He could go and do as he pleased, except he couldn't because he had no money. He was stuck with three people he didn't fully trust. 

“You guys are lovely people, don’t get me wrong, but even really nice people go to the auction house so they have someone to do awful things to.”

Ashton raised his eyebrows.

“Not that I thought you were going to do awful things to me—or, I mean, I did, but it didn’t make me think horribly of you, since that’s just what people seem to do—and obviously it’s not the case anyways, I mean,” Luke paused, “It’s just a lot.”

He wasn’t lying. If the trio were the kind of people that they claimed to be, and they let him go when it was time, he couldn’t imagine a better house to have ended up in. That didn’t mean he wanted to be there, because he most certainly didn’t, but if he had to be bought by anyone, he was pretty sure he’d be hard pressed to find someone better.

Ashton nodded. He tugged Luke deeper into the water. It came up to their chests now. “Do you consider sleeping with us to be awful? Is that the part that’s awful, or is it all of it?” Luke’s expression changed immediately and Ashton cut him off before he could begin. 

“No, no, I’m serious. It was really obvious from the moment I brought you into the house that that’s what we were interested in, to an extent, and you said that even this morning—after we had definitely broached that subject in the playroom—that you still thought we would do awful things to you. Is that what you think? That it’s awful? Because it’s okay if it is—well, sort of; I’d rather you not think of it as awful, but if that’s your gut reaction to it, so be it—it's not the only thing we care about. I’m just wondering if that’s what you really think of this.”

Luke hesitated. “It’s not—well,” he paused, “it’s not that I’m against the idea of sleeping with you.” That was only partially a lie. “I had assumed that no matter what, it would happen with whoever I ended up with—it almost always does, that’s just life—but the fact that I would have to do it a lot, and wouldn’t have a say,” Luke paused again, sinking into the water so it reached his neck. He was struggling to tell Ashton what he wanted to hear without lying, but he wasn’t succeeding. “I mean if I have to sleep with someone, I’m pretty sure I’m okay with it being you guys. You’re—well, you know what you’re doing, which means it’s not such a bad thing that I don’t.” Luke huffed, “This would be much easier if I had just broken the damn law like everybody else.”

That part was true. If he hadn’t waited, he wouldn’t be as nervous, and he imagined he wouldn’t want to leave at all. 

Ashton laughed and sank into the water so that he was level with Luke. “I’ll have you know I waited.”

“Really?”

Ashton nodded. “I was so scared that I would get caught that I didn’t do it. The second I turned eighteen I did, though. And it was awful because I had no idea what I was doing, and nor did the other guy, and we just did it to say we had done it. But if I hadn’t waited, it still would’ve been awful, but it would’ve been awful and illegal. Not waiting wouldn’t have made this any easier on you, I promise. Every person is different, too, so even if you had slept with someone before us, you’d still find this entirely new.”

Ashton had said it was awful, which was hardly comforting.

“Sort of,” Luke replied, “but I’d be a little bit practiced, and not helpless.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“You feel helpless?”

“Only a little,” Luke murmured, which was a lie. He felt completely helpless.

“Even with you calling the shots? Let’s say I hadn’t signed the Annulment,” Ashton mused, “do you think that we’d have let you use our stoplight system?”

Luke frowned. He wasn’t sure what Ashton was getting at. “Probably not.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because it wouldn’t matter what I thought.”

“So what were you thinking when we asked you to use it?”

“I—I wasn’t, really,” Luke admitted, “I didn’t know why you cared so much about what I wanted if you didn’t have to care at all. I couldn’t even get you to get it over with just so that you would do something that I was expecting.”

“That’s why you pushed so hard?” Ashton asked, “Because it surprised you that we weren’t throwing you down on the bed like a toy? You wanted us to do that?”

“Yes,” Luke said earnestly, “I mean, no. No. I didn’t, but I thought you were going to, and I felt like—I don’t even know. It freaked me out that you were doing the exact opposite of what I expected, and I didn’t know how to not be freaked out without getting you to do what I expected you to do?”

“Well, I suppose I’m glad that we didn’t live up to your expectations. Even if it did freak you out a little bit.”

“A lot,” Luke corrected.

“A lot,” Ashton repeated.

Luke fell quiet and the two listened to the sound of the waves hitting the shore. Several minutes passed, with Ashton staring at Luke, and Luke staring at the horizon. The sun had set a while ago, but the moon and the lights from the restaurants and hotels lining the beach lit up the surface of the water, making it shine despite the lack of sun.

"It's not all about sex, you know. We spend a lot of time in the playroom because we like to, but it doesn't mean you have to. It just means you have to be okay with it. It's a big part of who we are, but we're normal people. We go to work, we watch movies, we have big family dinners every few weeks. That's who we are."

"I want to be okay with it all. I'm trying." 

“I know. I’m glad you’re staying,” Ashton said softly, “I know it’s a lot. I know it’s not perfect. I know that what we're hoping for from you is a little bit daunting. Despite all of that you still want to stay.”

Luke shrugged. “What other option do I have?”

“Unfortunately for me you have quite a few,” Ashton teased. "There are other families who would happily take you in. There are places you can work that offer housing. Really the only thing keeping you here is liking us over those options, and I certainly hope we're good enough."

“If I left I’d be on the streets, or with someone who wasn’t nearly as thoughtful as you, and that would be it. Like you said, it’s not perfect, but it’s my best option. I’m not going to waste it because I’m scared.”

“I don’t want you to be scared.”

“The world is a scary place.”

“Hopefully staying with us will make it seem less scary.”

Luke laughed darkly. “You’re what makes it scary.”

“I know,” Ashton sighed, “but I hope it won’t be that way for long. I want you to be able to trust us.”

“I probably shouldn’t trust you so quickly, but I think I do,” Luke admitted. He trusted that they were who they said they were. But he wasn’t sure he should trust them at all. “I’m still scared though.”

“What in particular scares you?”

He was able to answer honestly, if a little vaguely. 

“All of it. It’s just new, and unexpected, and I can’t really see what my future with you guys holds, so that scares me. It’s not any one thing.”

“What are you hoping for?”

“I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about it.”

“Never?” Ashton asked skeptically.

“No,” Luke insisted, “It was never an option for me, to plan out how I wanted my life to be, so I didn’t bother to spend time thinking about what I wanted. I accepted that it would be someone else’s call.”

“Well, now you have all the time in the world to think about what you want. It’s your call.”

Luke smiled. A genuine smile. “You have no idea how nice it is to hear you say that.”

“I wish it had been true for you from day one, but this is the best I can do. Starting now—yesterday, actually—it’s up to you.”

“Thank you,” Luke murmured.

Ashton shook his head. “Don’t thank me.” He pointed back to the shore where their blankets were. “Want to go drink that beer?”

“I’ve never had a drink before.” Another honest answer.

“Aren’t you a goody-two-shoes,” Ashton teased, “have you ever broken a rule in your life?”

“Alcohol is a lot harder to come by where I’m from. It’s not that I was opposed to it.”

“Sure,” Ashton drawled.

“I’m serious!”

“Alright, well come on, let’s go get you your first beer.”

Luke nodded, feeling a little more relaxed. “I’ll race you back,” he offered.

Ashton cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Luke replied, “I’ll beat you, too.”

“Game on.”

At that the two dove into the water and began swimming as fast as possible back to the shore. Ashton beat Luke by a fair margin.

“Thought you said you’d beat me?” Ashton teased.

“Yeah, yeah. You win,” Luke grinned.

“What’s my prize for winning?” Ashton asked as they started walking towards their towels.

Luke squinted and tilted his head to the side. He knew Ashton hadn’t been serious, but he replied anyways, a little nervously, “A kiss?”

Ashton chuckled. “No, I’m kidding, Luke. I don’t want anything from you.”

“I—I’m not kidding,” Luke said quietly.

Ashton nodded, taking a seat on his towel. “I know—sit—but I’m vetoing that for now.” He opened the picnic basket as Luke sat down. Luke took the beer he held out. “Besides, you’re about to get drunk for the first time, and I don’t want you thinking I’m taking advantage of you.”

Water dripped from Luke’s hair and he pushed it back, offering what was only a half-truth in response. “I don’t think that at all.”

In reality he hadn't been thinking of that as a possibility until Ashton brought it up. But now that it had come up, Luke worried a little bit that Ashton might go back on his word. He reminded himself that Ashton had not yet given him a single reason to believe he'd go against what he said he'd do. 

“Good.” Ashton changed the subject. “I brought three for each of us. I don’t want you to have a killer hangover. It’s still enough to get you proper buzzed."

The two twisted the caps off their drinks and clinked them together.

“To…freedom,” Ashton decided.

“Cheers.”

***

They had left Luke to his own devices, in hopes that by doing so they would gain more of his trust, especially after the talk that Luke and Michael had had in the studio the day before. Calum and Michael were writing in the studio, and Ashton was outside on the hammock, reading a book. Luke had gone up to his room and was digging through his desk drawers. He was grateful for the time alone. 

Everything Luke could possibly need was tucked inside of them neatly—everything from pens to tape to brand new notebooks. In the closet there was a whole array of clothing for every season, and then some. The dresser was the same. They had made sure that nothing was missing, and that was clear to Luke, who sat rifling through a notebook that was filled with writing.

The script was neat and easy to understand. Ashton has written out everything he thought Luke might want to know, and then tucked it away for Luke to find. Sometimes it isn’t easy to just ask, it said on the first page. Ashton had tried to answer every question he predicted might come up.

Luke didn’t read through the whole thing at first. He left it out on the desk and wandered into the playroom. The room was inviting if he didn’t look too closely. All of the colors were warm ones, and nothing in the room was foreign to Luke. Not that he could see at a glance, that is. He walked to the closet, pulling the double doors back. Inside the closet were dozens of boxes and baskets filled with things that Luke had never heard of. 

He found a box labeled gags and pulled it off the shelf, taking a seat on the floor, placing the lid beside him, and peering inside. There were at least twenty different gags inside of the box. He took one of them out and examined it. It had an adjustable strap made of leather, and the actual gagging mechanism was a metal ring. Not very large in diameter, but if he were to put it on, Luke wouldn’t be able to bite all the way down. He took another one from the box. It had the same strap as the first one, but instead of a ring it had a black rubber ball almost the size of a golf ball.   
He held both gags in his hands, staring at them. He wasn’t sure how these were supposed to be considered a good thing in any situation. 

“You’d prefer the ball gag over the ring.”

Luke jumped, dropping both gags to the floor as he looked up at Calum.

“How did you—”

“The studio is right under the playroom. I heard you open the closet door. It doesn't look like it, but it's an old house. You can hear everything.”

Calum moved from the doorway to sit beside Luke on the floor.

“Interesting choice,” Calum noted.

He picked up the ball gag, turning it over in his hand.

“Although we wouldn't properly introduce you to this for a while. It requires practicing with hand signals instead of safe words, and we’ve barely even gotten started with you using colors. Why did you pick this box?”

“It’s the only thing I vaguely knew about already. Aside from the—aside from the handcuffs. Those…scare me.”

“You were playing it safe?”

Luke nodded.

“Are you truly comfortable trying anything you don’t already know?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean—I think so. I was comfortable with you the other day.”

Calum chuckled, rolling the ball gag between his hands. “You were far more than comfortable. But with Mikey?”

Luke looked down, his hands busying themselves with the hem of his shirt before he looked up again. “I wanted it,” he lied.

Calum shook his head and put the ball gag back into the box.

“I did, I really did,” Luke insisted weakly.

“You weren’t comfortable at all, Luke. You were out of your element, you were scared, you were outnumbered, and you were not ready in the slightest. I was there. There was nothing about that that you wanted. Why do you keep denying it?”

“I’m not,” Luke whined, “It’s all of that, yes, and I wanted it. I signed the contract, I know what I signed onto. I agreed to it.” He didn’t want them thinking he was against whatever they wanted to do to him.

“No, you didn’t want it,” Calum said firmly, refusing to accept Luke’s bluff. “You wanted to be ready, possibly—although I doubt that, too—but you weren’t ready, and you didn’t want any of that to happen, but you didn’t stop him.”

“I didn’t stop you,” Luke whispered, and Calum almost didn’t catch it.

He froze and stared at Luke with furrowed eyebrows for several seconds before replying.

“There are three possibilities here. You tell me which it is,” Calum ordered, his voice raised. His icy tone made Luke’s blood run cold. “Option one: you are a very good actor, and I didn’t know. Option two: you’re equating what we did to what you did with Michael so that I think you actually did want to do what he was going to do to you. Option three—which I’d put my money on: you just said that to scare the shit out of me.”

Luke didn’t reply, frozen in place and terrified that he had gone too far by lying to the older man. Calum’s voice was so forceful and angry, and Luke couldn’t get the words out of his mouth, too startled to even think to speak.

“Well? Which is it? Or am I entirely off the mark here?”

”I—I don’t know,” Luke admitted hurriedly, “All of them? None of them? It’s not that—look, I do want it, I swear—I mean, I don’t, but I’m not, like, opposed to it or anything—sex is good—or, I mean—you know what I mean. I just don’t—I don’t know you, and—and it’s not bad to not know you, I’m just—it’s scary, you know, not knowing? It’s easier to rip off the bandage and then, you know, start over—but not really start over because then, like, I know what’s coming—but I can’t just will myself to do it—I would if I could, trust me. And I’m not—I’m not trying to scare you—I wouldn’t, but what happened—what I did with you, and what I did—started to do—with him, that was the same, right?”

Calum looked like he was about to speak, but Luke wasn’t finished.

“I mean he did what—what I asked him to, and so did you, but it wasn’t the same. It was so different, I just—I don’t know why, and I know you want to know why. And I’m—I’m not a very good actor—I can’t lie well at all—but I didn’t stop you, but I didn’t want to—you weren’t wrong about that. I just don’t know why, and—and now I’m second guessing what we did, and I don’t know how I feel about any of it. It’s a lot—it’s too much—but I know this is how it is—I’m here, and I need to get used to this or you’ll send me off to someone else who—who won’t be nearly as nice as you guys, and I’m scared that it’s—it’s going to happen, just because I’m not ready. If I have to be ready for this to work out, then—then I’ll just make myself ready—try to at least—and then we can—we can make this work. I’m--just—I don’t know,” Luke whimpered, his voice breaking at the end.

Calum nodded slowly. His pursed his lips and studied Luke for a moment. Luke was absolutely petrified, gripping his shirt in his hands, his knuckles white, and attempting to shrink into nonexistence. The younger of the two wasn’t small at all, so that was saying something. 

“You were trying to scare me—”

Luke shook his head, “I wasn’t I sw—”

Calum held up a hand and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“You were. It’s okay. You’re scared,” Calum stated gently, “Scared is normal. You’re right, you don’t know us. To be fair, we don’t know you either. It’s new to us too. Just because we aren’t new to the whole dynamic doesn’t mean that we were completely prepared to meet you. And we’re not going to get rid of you after a few days because you haven’t put out. That’s absurd. So ridiculously absurd. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to be trying out new things each day until we figure out what you’re comfortable with, but it means that we expect you to say no sometimes.” Calum said, urgency clear in his voice.

He leaned towards Luke slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“I trust that you’ll get used to that in time, and we have all the time in the world. We actually want you to stick around, as hard as that is for you to believe. We’re nice people, Luke, and we want you to be happy here. If, after a good bit of time has passed, and you’re still not happy with us, we can talk about finding someone else for you—don’t get all worried, let’s refer back to my previous statement: we’re nice people. If in the end we all—all four of us—decide this isn’t the right fit for you, then we will all—again, all four of us—we’ll find you somewhere that is the right fit—that you like, and that is a safe and happy environment. We may still need to get to know each other better, but we do care about you, Luke, and we want what’s best for you, no matter what.” Calum insisted, “But,” Luke’s eyes narrowed, “but, if you ever scare the shit out of me like that again I’ll spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit.”

Calum’s tone was final, and Luke nodded vigorously, believing the older man’s words with every bone in his body. Calum’s eyes softened.

“You don’t like new, and that’s okay. New is scary.”

Luke nodded.

“Tell me what you think of that gag,” Calum said, pointing to the ball gag in the box as if he hadn’t completely changed the topic.

“What?”

“You heard me, I said tell me what you think of the gag. Does it scare you? Does the idea of a gag scare you? Do you want to try it? Tell me what you think of it.”

Luke furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He figured it was best to be honest.

“I know what it’s supposed to do,” Luke said slowly, “I mean, it’s obvious that it’s supposed to gag me, I know that it’s, like, more than that too, though. It’s like, you know, tying someone up, or something. That’s pretty obvious, I think. And I don’t think that really scares me, the idea of it, I mean, but you’re right, I can’t say red if I get too scared, which I think scares me the most.” He paused. “But I’m curious as to why it’s used. It’s not like if you were to, you know, make it so I couldn’t use my hands or something. I mean, it’s not making it so I’m—I don’t really know how to explain it—maybe, I dunno, accessible? Do you know what I mean?”

Calum nodded. “First of all, like I said earlier, we’d practice with hand signals that are supposed to act like safe words. For all intents and purposes, you can still effectively say red if you need to. That’s always a given, just so you know. And yes, it’s different from restraining your hands in that it doesn’t leave you at our mercy quite as much. But it will make it a little bit harder to breathe, which is both good and bad because your senses will be heightened and everything will feel really good, but it’s also a little scary to have to be conscious of your breathing. It will make your jaw sore over time, too, so we don’t use them often. Regardless, if you know exactly what to expect you won’t be as scared, just like with what you and I did.”

Luke nodded and Calum smiled. The smile turned into a smirk. “Wanna make out?”

Luke’s eyes went wide. Surprise colored his face as Calum shrugged.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Calum said, his tone light, “but I’ve got a feeling you wouldn’t mind. We’ve done it before.”

Calum wasn’t wrong, and when Luke nodded, he moved to sit right beside Luke, one hand placed firmly on the ground between them, the other brushing Luke’s cheek before settling at the base of his neck to draw him into a soft kiss, but he didn’t move to close the gap. Luke’s hands untangled from his shirt only to find themselves twisted into the fabric of Calum’s, both for support and for comfort.

It was gentle, and easy. Luke didn’t shy away. Calum waited for Luke to do something, and it took a moment for him to catch on. He leaned into Calum’s touch, their lips pressing together. This was good. Luke, at the very least, was comfortable with kissing them. No matter what the circumstances, this didn’t scare him. 

Calum’s thumb rubbed against Luke’s jaw beneath the younger boy’s ear as they kissed, and Luke let his shoulders drop, allowing the tension to leave his muscles. The older man leaned back slightly, pulling Luke with him so that the blond hovered over him as he lay on the ground. 

Luke let it happen, and tried not to overthink it. Instead he focused his attention on the way Calum’s hands found his waist—not pushing him away nor pulling him closer, but just settling there as if it were home base. He let his thoughts drift to Calum’s lips, gentler than Michael’s, but just as soft. Luke was in the lead, which meant Luke could decide when to stop, and that was comforting. He pulled away to breathe and Calum’s lips chased his for a moment before letting his head rest against the carpet. 

“Are you okay?” He asked the younger boy.

Luke nodded, “This is okay,” he murmured, “I’m okay.”

Calum tugged on Luke’s hips until Luke was resting his full weight on the older man. “You sure? We can stop if you need to.”

Luke tilted his head and shrugged. “I’m—I’m okay. Kissing you is good. Green, right? Green is good? I’m good. I just—need to breathe.”

Calum chuckled and nodded, and Luke brought his lips down to meet his once again. 

***

Luke and Michael sat on the floor in the living room, the television playing a movie in the background. Luke was holding his hands out towards Michael. On the outside he was trying to stay calm, but on the inside he was panicking a little bit, even though he knew this wasn’t going to go anywhere. Michael said he wasn’t going to do anything Luke wasn’t okay with. This was just so Luke could get a better idea of what actually went on in the playroom when he wasn't there. 

“Okay, make two fists. Yeah, like that,” Michael praised, “Now make sure you’re flexing and put your fingers together—no, like you’re clapping, but with your fists—exactly like that, good.”

Michael picked up a thin rope from beside him.

“This is made of nylon so it won’t hurt to use it for a long time, but we’re not doing that right now. This is just to show you.”

The sound of the television distracted Luke as Michael began to loop the rope around Luke’s wrists. It was a movie he had never seen before, but he wasn’t following the storyline. It just served as a distraction from his reality.

“You don’t have to loop it this many times, but it distributes the pressure so you’re more comfortable, even though it looks a lot scarier,” Michael explained as he twisted the two ends of the rope over each other and began to tie a knot between Luke’s wrists, “Here, keep your muscles flexed, it’s important—that’s the case most of the time you know—the worse it looks the better it actually is for you.”

“Do you do this a lot?” Luke asked quietly, bringing his attention back to Michael’s handiwork.

“Use restraints?” Michael clarified.

Luke nodded.

“Sometimes,” Michael replied, “It really depends on what we want to do with the scene. Ashton likes to use it more than Cal and I, but we all appreciate it for different reasons.”

“Why do you like it?” 

“I personally just like how it looks—keep flexing—but Ashton and Calum like it unsurprisingly because it gives them more control. There, how does that feel? Too tight?”

Luke shook his head.

“Good. Not too loose either, is it? Can you get out?”

Luke tried to pull his wrists apart before shaking his head again. He was a little nervous, but Michael said he wasn’t going to do anything, so Luke told himself to take a deep breath and try to calm his nerves.

“This is a pretty standard knot,” Michael explained, “Ashton uses it a lot. It’s meant to keep the pressure evenly distributed so that you can use that point kind of like an anchor.”

“What do you mean?” Luke asked.

“You could hang from that knot for a few hours and be just fine. Well, a couple knots, not just that one, but the idea’s the same.”

Luke’s eyes widened slightly and he swallowed. That wasn’t what he was expecting, and the answer scared him. This was not the hanging like a rag doll he had imagined when Ashton mentioned the hook screws. This wasn't something he could find a way out of if he panicked. 

“Oh,” he said weakly. “Okay.”

Michael chuckled.

“It’s not as scary as it sounds, I promise. It’s actually really fun, if done right.” Michael insisted, “Don’t look so worried, really, it’s not bad at all. You’ll get to see one of us do it before we’d ever expect you to even try it yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Are you actually okay? I can take it off if you need me to,” Michael insisted.

Luke thought for a moment before replying. “It’s…I think I’m okay,” he said slowly, his eyebrows furrowed.

It was only temporary. Michael was going to untie him soon. He could wait, and he would be fine. 

“Tell me your color.”

“Green,” Luke decided. “Maybe yellow?”

“Good, that’s good. Here, come sit with me,” Michael said, standing.

He helped Luke to his feet and took a seat on the sofa, pulling Luke into his lap. Luke let out a deep breath as he put his head on the armrest and brought his feet up onto the sofa. He was lying across Michael’s lap with his hands tucked under his head. Michael had one hand on Luke’s stomach, the other propping his head up on the armrest.

“Are you comfortable?” Michael asked, looking down at the younger boy, “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Luke replied.

“Alright."

Michael focused his attention on the movie. Luke stayed quiet, though, until Calum came home. He joined the two on the sofa after grabbing the last of the rope from the floor, and watched the movie without acknowledging that Luke’s wrists were bound. Instead he busied his hands with tying intricate knots into the rope in his lap.

It pulled Luke’s attention away from the movie, which Calum and Michael noticed almost immediately.

“Everything alright?” Calum asked.

Luke nodded.

“You look worried. What is it?” Calum pushed.

Luke shrugged and Calum raised an eyebrow.

“You’re scared that I’m playing with the rope,” Calum deadpanned, “aren’t you?”

Luke cringed slightly, which was all Calum needed to assess the situation. The youngest bit his lip as Calum nodded towards Michael, who took the hint and helped Luke to sit up. Michael rubbed Luke’s shoulder.

“See this knot? Michael showed it to me. You can’t use this for anything, it’s just for show,” Calum explained, “But your wrists? That’s a serious knot. You couldn’t get out of that if you tried. See how it’s tied off back here, by your pinkie fingers? You can’t get to it to untie it. It’s intense, isn’t it? That’s okay, it’s supposed to be. This knot,” Calum referred back to his own rope, “Is a joke. Look.”

Calum pulled on one of the strings and the rope undid itself, falling into Calum’s lap.

“You don’t need to be worried. I’d never tie you up without you being completely comfortable with it. You need trust. Do you trust me?”

Luke nodded, only half-convinced that he trusted the older man.

“Can I show you a real knot? Is that okay with you?”

“Okay,” Luke agreed.

“Are you just saying that because it’s what I want to hear, or are you actually willing to let me tie a knot around your ankles?”

“You can do it,” Luke said.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Luke didn’t reply, only leaning back into Michael. He didn’t like the idea of being entirely vulnerable and outnumbered, but Michael and Calum were being very gentle, and he felt at least a little bit safe, but not as much as he would’ve liked.

“Now that answers my question,” Calum said dryly.

Michael chuckled and wrapped his arms around Luke, taking the younger boy’s wrist in his own and beginning to untie the bindings. Luke relaxed slightly when he realized what Michael was doing.

“I have a feeling you’re only okay with one at a time, isn’t that right?” Michael mused.

“I think so,” Luke said quietly.

“I’m the same way. It’s a bit scary to be completely at someone’s mercy like that.”

Michael tossed the rope onto the ottoman and rubbed his hands along Luke’s forearms to ease the slight redness. When he was done he took Luke’s hands in his own.

“Do you think you’d be alright with Calum showing you the knot now?” Michael asked.

Luke nodded.

“Did you even realize that’s why you were hesitant?” Calum asked.

“You guys seem to always know.”

Michael laughed and let go of Luke’s hands. He ran a hand through his hair before he set it back down on his knee.

“I like that. We’re all knowing. Wouldn’t that be nice? No, we’re just good at reading your body language. It’s about seeing your instinctual reaction to things,” Michael explained. “If we always knew we wouldn’t have to ask questions in the first place.”

“That’s true,” Calum agreed.

He took a piece of rope, folded it in half, and looped it around Luke’s ankles.

“See this soft spot here,” Calum pressed gently against the space just below Luke’s ankle, where his shin and foot connected. “The rope never goes here. It’s supposed to go up here,” Calum moved his hand an inch above Luke’s ankle, “where it’s mostly muscle and bone, and it’s not going to damage any veins or nerves. Before we even think to start tying you up we’re worrying about your wellbeing, okay? I promise.”

Calum fed the rope through itself. 

“This little loop here is called a bight. As long as it sits right here,” Calum gestured to where the bight sat between Luke’s ankles, “it won’t pinch you at all, and it’ll keep the rope taught. Now we just wrap it around a few times here,” Calum trailed off as he began to wrap the rope around Luke’s shins, “and then we make another bight right here, loop back around, and,” Calum fed the remainder of the rope through itself again before tying it into a bow, “there, all done. Obviously that’s not the right kind of knot, but that would depend on the scene, and I’m expecting you’ll want to take this off soon anyways.”

“How does it feel?” Michael asked.

“Weird.”

Calum laughed. “That’s normal. If you haven’t gotten used to it, it feels a bit strange.”

“Have you ever,” Luke trailed off.

“Have I ever been tied up? I’m not a fan of having it done to me, but yes, a long time ago. When I learned how to do it to other people, I had it done to me so that I could really understand what I was doing. It’s common, really.”

“Oh,” Luke said quietly.

“I stand by it as a practice,” Calum said, “experiencing it on both ends? It’s really important to know exactly what you’re doing so no one gets hurt.”

Michael climbed out from beneath Luke and began to walk into the kitchen. “He’s right. Safety is the number one priority. I’m having ice cream. Do either of you want any?”

“Yes, please,” Luke said.

“You’ll have to come get it,” Michael said as he opened the fridge.

Luke looked at Calum. “I can’t—can I—could you untie me?” Luke asked.

Calum grinned and stood up. “I have a better idea.”

He leaned down and took Luke by the waist, tossing him over his shoulder with ease. He held onto the back of Luke’s knees with one hand to keep the younger boy from falling. The other sat on Luke’s rear. 

“Hey, what’re you—Calum!”

Luke flailed and grabbed Calum’s waist to steady himself as Calum began walking towards the kitchen. Calum ignored Luke’s outburst.

“Mikey what time is your session?” Calum asked.

He slapped Luke’s butt lightly before helping him down and onto a stool at the kitchen counter. Luke gave Calum a look of confusion and surprise, both at the fact that Calum could so easily manhandle Luke, as well as the fact that Calum did just manhandle Luke. Michael closed the freezer, a tub of ice cream in his hand. He set it on the counter, opening a cabinet to get bowls.

“A couple hours. John said he was fitting in a meeting between your session and mine.”

“Do you think that gives us enough time?” Calum wondered.

“Enough time for what?” Luke asked.

“It depends on when Ashton gets home.” Michael began scooping the ice cream into the bowls. He pushed one of them towards Luke.

“He’s out with Matt. We’re not going to see him until you have to go.”

“Let’s just give it a few days. There’s no rush.”

“No rush for what?” Luke asked timidly, taking the spoon Michael offered him.

“We wanted to spend an evening in the playroom with you.” Michael explained.

“Doing what?” Luke’s voice was slow and pitched higher than usual, revealing just how nervous he was to hear the answer.

Michael put the tub of ice cream back into the freezer before leaning on the counter in front of Luke. 

“Letting you explore a bit with us there to answer any questions. We thought it would be best if we were around. If that freaks you out we don’t have to, though.” Calum added.

Michael put a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and looked up at Luke. “What do you think?” He asked around his spoon.

Luke chewed on his lip for a moment. “Okay,” he said finally, “That’s—that’s probably good.”

Calum laughed. “We’ll wait until all of us are here for the night, and then we’ll do it. It could be a while. We’ve all been in and out of the studio. We’ll still have some fun while we wait, but it won’t be that intense. Taking it slow, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

***

Michael had taken Luke up to the master bedroom after breakfast the next day. Calum and Ashton were recording again, and the two had the house to themselves. The resulting quiet made Luke fidgety, which was driving Michael crazy, so he decided he’d try to ease the younger boy’s nerves.   
This meant the two were now lying shirtless on the bed and Michael was tracing patterns onto Luke’s skin. Michael’s head was on Luke’s shoulder, one hand intertwined with Luke’s. They had been listening to a playlist Michael had turned on, but it had long since ended.

“You haven’t told me about what it was like for you growing up,” Luke murmured, breaking the silence. 

“I told you Cal and I went to boarding school, right?”

Luke nodded.

“Our childhood was a lot like yours because of that. Except we broke the rules.”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying,” Luke insisted.

“I know,” Michael grinned, “I’m teasing you.”

“How did you get into music?”

Michael’s finger ran over Luke’s nipple and the younger boy’s breathing hitched. “When we met Ashton he was working as a studio drummer, and Calum and I had played guitar since we were really little, so it just made sense to play together. It grew from there.” He continued to drag his finger across Luke’s chest.

“That tickles.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Luke shook his head. “Not really.”

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yeah.”

Michael traced his finger over Luke’s nipple again.

“Why did you start playing guitar?” He asked the younger boy.

His finger continued moving across Luke’s nipple, a slow and steady motion. Luke struggled to focus on the conversation, his attention on Michael’s finger. He tried to gather his thoughts.

“I was,” Luke sighed, “I was bored. I had finished school for the year when I was,” Luke’s breathing hitched again as Michael brushed over the sensitive skin, “when I was fifteen, I think. After a while I realized I could make money doing it, so I would,” Luke swallowed loudly, “I would busk on the streets to save up for records.”

“The Young and the Hopeless,” Michael recalled.

“Yeah.”

“Why that one?”

“It fit, didn’t it? A kid on the Block. Made me feel—less alone. Like someone else knew how I felt.”

“Why didn’t you bring it with you?”

“Left it with a friend. It was—it was a gift, I guess. Besides, I—I wasn’t supposed to bring anything.” Luke sucked in a deep breath, “That’s very distracting, you know,” he said, voice strained.

He was okay, but he didn’t know what Michael’s goal was, and that made him nervous. Michael ignored Luke’s last comment and began rolling Luke’s nipple between his fingers.

“You were told not to bring anything,” Michael repeated, “Fresh start?” He asked.

“Something like that,” Luke breathed.

Michael tilted his head so he could nip at Luke’s neck. “I hope you see it as a good thing,” he mumbled into Luke’s skin. “A fresh start, I mean.”


	4. Four - JULY 28

“Michael said the two of you spent some time in here yesterday.”

Ashton phrased it like a statement, but meant it as a question. Luke shrugged. He leaned further into the pillows propped against the headboard behind him. Ashton obviously wanted to talk about it, but Luke wasn’t good with words and didn’t know what he was supposed to say on the matter. He turned his head to face Ashton, who was laying on his side.

“Wanna tell me what you two did?”

Ashton’s tone made it obvious that he was expecting a verbal answer this time. Luke hesitated.

“He touched me,” he whispered, as if it were a secret.

It almost was. Luke didn’t know what Michael had told Ashton.

Ashton shifted so that he was part way on his side, facing the younger boy. It made Luke feel vulnerable, to be so close to Ashton.

“Where did he do that? Show me.”

Luke looked into Ashton’s eyes, his hand dragging up his chest, indicating where Michael’s hands had been. Words were hard, pointing was easy. He left it resting on his collarbone. There was a bruise where Luke’s thumb was. Ashton traced the bite with his index finger.

“Did you want him to do that?”

Luke nodded. Of course he had. Or at least--he was okay with it happening. He supposed there was a difference. None of them were touching him without getting the go ahead first, despite Luke wishing that sometimes they could just read his mind instead of making him verbalize it.

“Use your words,” Ashton prompted.

“Yes,” Luke whispered, “I did.”

“Good boy,” Ashton hummed, “Did it feel good?”

"Yes.” One word answers, those he could handle.

“Do you want it to happen again?”  
   
Luke didn’t respond, but his cheeks reddened. At the very least, Luke enjoyed what happened, even if he was unsure about it reoccurring. He couldn’t really explain it—not that he hadn’t tried—but he supposed if he couldn’t explain how he felt, then he probably wasn’t ready. Better safe than sorry.  
   
“What’s your color, Luke?”  
   
“Green.”  
   
There was a good chance Luke wasn’t actually alright with Ashton touching him, but Ashton was cautious, and Luke trusted him enough.  
   
“Good boy.”  
   
Ashton didn’t make a move to touch Luke further, and Luke frowned.  
   
“What is it?” Ashton hummed.  
   
His tone made it sound as though he was oblivious to Luke’s confusion as to why he wasn’t touching the younger boy. Luke wasn’t fooled, but he knew Ashton wanted him to voice his thoughts.  
   
“I,” Luke trailed off.  
   
“Did you think I was going to touch you?”  
   
“Yes,” Luke whispered, because that was exactly what he thought.  
   
“Do you want me to touch you?”  
   
Luke bit his lip and thought for a moment. He knew he didn’t not want Ashton to touch him, which really only left one other option. He nodded shyly. This made Ashton grin.  
   
“Yeah? You want me to do what Mike did? You want me to make you feel good?”  
   
Luke nodded again, thinking that adding another bruise to his collarbone wouldn’t really be a bad thing, and Ashton leaned over to peck Luke on the lips.  
   
“Not today,” he said gently.  
   
“What?” Luke breathed.  
   
“You don’t want that.”  
   
Luke pushed up onto his elbow to face Ashton. “What? No, I just said—don’t you want—yeah I do—what do you mean I don’t?”  
   
Ashton laughed lightly. Luke wasn’t sure it was true, but he had committed to his affirmative response, so it confused him to see Ashton back away.  
   
“You’re not ready for anything more, and there’s no reason to rush it. You’ve only been here a few days. Give it time. It won't help to overwhelm you. I don't want you to tell me something I want to hear, I want you to tell me how you're really feeling.”  
   
Ashton wasn’t wrong. Luke was still going back and forth on whether or not he was comfortable. He wanted to be ready, so he should be able to just talk himself into wanting what the other boys wanted, but it wasn’t working. Maybe the older man was right to insist the wait. Although, it wasn’t like Luke was asking Ashton to take him against the wall, or anything like that.  
   
“When am I going to be ready?”  
   
“I don’t know. Don’t worry about it.”  
   
Luke furrowed his eyebrows and fell back into the pillows. “I’m going to worry about it until it happens.”  
   
“Then I hope we can distract you enough that you won’t have time to worry about it.”  
   
Luke sighed. “I hope so too.”

***

“You know he sits in the studio playing the old acoustic all the time,” Calum noted, tugging on his jacket.

Ashton did the same.  
   
“From what Mike says, I reckon he’s quite good.” The older boy put the hood on his jacket over his head and waved goodbye to John. “Do you think he writes his own stuff, too, or just plays?”  
   
“He definitely writes,” Calum replied, “Well, I would think that he does. It’s what I do to work through stuff, and if Luke isn’t trying to work through anything right now we should be worried.” The younger boy pushed open the back door, holding it for Ashton to walk through first.  
   
“How would you feel if you woke up thinking you’d be going home with a family so you could do yard work and dishes, only to find out you’re stuck with three guys that have a ton of sex instead?”  
   
“Is that a rhetorical question?”  
   
Ashton dug his keys from his pocket, unlocking the car as they walked up to it.  
   
“Not really. How would you feel if that happened?”  
   
“Honestly? Terrified,” Calum replied.  
   
He opened the passenger door and climbed into the car, Ashton mirroring him on the other side.  
   
“If I had spent, what, five years thinking I’d be working my entire adult life, I’d be a little surprised when that didn’t happen.” Calum fastened his seatbelt, “And if the tradeoff for an easier life is being okay with lots of sex, I’d feel a little violated. I’d take it, once I realized you guys wouldn’t hurt me, and maybe I’m biased because I’m in love with you, but come on, it’s not like he really wins with either outcome unless he’s willing to and wants to have sex with us, and I’m not sure he is. I mean just think about how nervous I was when we started with the playroom.”  
   
Ashton started the car and pulled away from the recording studio.  
   
“I’m not sure either. Obviously I don’t want to push him, or freak him out, but this would be so much easier if he wasn’t scared of us.”  
   
“I don’t think he’s scared of us,” Calum said.  
   
“You don’t?”  
   
“No. Nervous maybe. Confused, even, but I don’t think we scare him. I think what scares him is feeling pressured to do something he doesn’t want to do.”  
   
“He tried to con Mike into fucking him, I don’t think he feels as pressured as you think he does. I don’t doubt that he was scared, but I don’t think he feels pressured. At least not in a negative sense.”  
   
Ashton turned onto the highway, one hand on the wheel, the other intertwined with Calum’s.  
   
“Maybe so.”  
   
The older boy frowned, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want him to be scared. I want this to work.”  
   
Calum rubbed his thumb over the back of Ashton’s hand.  
   
“So do I.”  
   
It was quiet for a moment, save for the hum of the car’s engine.  
   
“Do you think he’d ever write with us? I mean, will he ever be comfortable with us like that?”  
   
Calum sighed. “I hope so. And even if he’s not, it’s not your fault, Ash.”  
   
“How would you know?”  
   
“Just because it didn’t work out last time, it doesn’t mean it won’t work this time. That wasn’t your fault, and it’s also not your fault that Luke isn’t entirely on board with this.”  
   
“So it’s not my fault, it’s just me?”  
   
“That’s not what I’m saying at all, and you know it.”  
   
“No, it’s just my inability to make a successful Purchase,” Ashton huffed.  
   
“First of all, Luke hasn’t decided to leave. You have no idea if it’s been successful or not. It’s been, like, a week since you brought him home. Second, it’s not like there’s a good way to tell what kind of person he’s going to be. It’s not like you bought a bag of chips after reading the label. You don’t know what you’re getting. It’s not your fault that some things weren’t on Luke’s label. Luke probably doesn’t even know what’s on Luke’s metaphorical label, Ash. You can’t go blaming yourself for a rocky start.”  
   
Ashton signed.  
   
“I’m doing everything I can to make him happy and feel safe,” he whined, “I’m not doing anything with him because I know it might scare him—and it’s not like I’m trying to be noble or anything, he’s trying to con me into it, too, it’s not just that night with Mike—and fuck, do I want to, Cal, I really wanna just give in and touch him more than anything—okay not anything, I like touching you and Mike a tiny bit more—but that’s not the point, the point is I’m trying so hard to keep my hands off him until he’s ready, and then when we went to the beach the other day he offered to kiss me—totally out of the blue, by the way, we weren’t even talking about anything like that—and I said no because we were about to drink and I didn’t want to take advantage of him, even though he was the one who offered, and we were both fucking sober. And I get why he’s trying to, I do. He wants to know what to expect, I get it, but I’m not trying to scare him, so I keep telling myself that it’ll be worth it to wait. Even then, even when I try so hard to let him get used to everything before we do anything, even then I can tell he’s still scared of me because he flinches when I go up to him for anything, unless he totally sees me coming.” He took a slow breath, “Am I really that scary? Are you sure it’s not my fault, because I feel like I’ve scared him off before he was ever really here.”  
   
They turned off the highway.  
   
“You’re doing everything right, Ash. If anything, Mike and I are the one’s pushing him too far, and he’s worried that you’ll jump on him out of the blue, or something like that.”  
   
“There’s no way that’s true. Plus, you’d never jump him either. You two are so careful.”  
   
“And so are you, Ashton, so if there’s something that’s bothering him, it’s not the way you’re treating him, okay?”  
   
Ashton squeezed Calum’s hand gently and glanced at the younger man. “I just want this to work. I want him to be happy.”  
   
“I want that too, and so does Mikey, and so does Luke. We’ll settle into it eventually, we have to give it some time. If we let him pick up some habits it’ll feel more like home to him.”  
   
Ashton nodded.  
   
“You know he’s probably in the studio right now?” Calum added as an afterthought.  
   
“You think?”  
   
“Mike said that when we’re gone he’s either in the studio or wandering the house fidgeting—which drives him insane—so yeah, probably.”  
   
Ashton chuckled and pulled onto their street. “He only hates it because he does it too.” He turned into the driveway and parked the car, the two of them climbing out and walked to the front door.  
   
“Just give it some time, okay?” Calum asked gently.  
   
Ashton nodded, pecking Calum on the cheek. They walked into the house, and Calum went directly for the studio, where he found Luke asleep on the sofa. He smiled softly and kneeled beside the younger boy.  
   
“Luke?” He whispered.  
   
Luke hummed and opened his eyes. He jumped slightly when he noticed how close Calum was to him.  
   
“Hey,” Calum murmured, “You should sleep in a proper bed. It’s not good for you to sleep on the sofa.” Luke nodded, “You good to get yourself to bed or do you want me to carry you?”  
   
Luke outstretched his arms, and Calum chuckled. He picked up the blond boy with ease.  
   
“You, sir, are a giant child,” Calum teased when Luke wrapped his legs around Calum’s waist and set his head on Calum’s shoulder. “God, Michael should’ve done this. I bet he’s asleep already. Left you to fend for yourself.” The older boy huffed as he carried Luke up the stairs and into his room.  
   
He set Luke down on the bed, pulling the blankets up and over the blond boy.  
   
“I’ll be in our room if you need anything, alright?”  
   
Luke nodded. Calum walked to the door, pausing before going on his way.  
   
“Goodnight, Luke. Sleep well.”

***  
   
Luke stretched out on the towel next to Ashton, letting the setting sun beat down on his back.  
   
“I can’t believe you thought you could out-swim Ashton,” Calum said from Luke’s other side.  
   
“He failed to mention he was almost an Olympian,” Luke scoffed, “How was I supposed to know he swam for a decade?”  
   
“I actually swam until I was sixteen, which would make it twelve years,” Ashton said, a teasing tone in his voice.  
   
“Well, I bet you learned your lesson. No one swims faster or surfs better than Ashton does,” Michael said.  
   
“Not no one,” Ashton countered, “just not the three of you.”  
   
Michael leaned over Ashton to kiss the smirk off his lips. Luke looked away. It wasn’t unusual for the three to kiss and touch each other in front of Luke, but the youngest still wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t sure he ever would be. He took a deep breath. He had nothing to worry about. The older three were taking it slow with him. He couldn’t ask for more.  
  

Calum took his hand. “You alright?”  
   
Luke nodded. They weren’t trying to kiss him, so he couldn’t complain. Not that he wasn’t okay with kissing any of them, because he was, it was just that he really wasn’t okay with anything else, as much as he tried to be. It was taking a really long time for him to reason with himself and accept that the guys had good intentions.  
   
“No you’re not,” Calum said quietly, “What’s bugging you?”  
   
Luke shrugged. “I’m fine, just tired I guess.”  
   
He wasn’t sure why it was bothering him so much to be surrounded by Ashton, Calum, and Michael in that moment. Nothing had changed since that second day, or at least nothing new had happened.  
   
“Do you want to go home?”  
   
Home. He wasn’t home with them. Calum had said it would feel more like home if he gave it time, but it had been a week, and he was still out of his element. His element simply was not the playroom, which was inconveniently exactly what Calum told him would eventually feel like home. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel at home there. He could handle what they had been doing in the playroom so far. He had needs, too, and it was nice to have something aside from his right hand to make friends with. It helped that the boys were attractive, too. But they were also experienced, and he was not. Eventually they’d want to take it further, and he was never going to be ready for that, because he was never going to be comfortable letting them blindly guide him through whatever the hell they wanted to do.  
   
“Luke?” Calum prompted, “Do you want to go home?”  
   
Luke shrugged again.  
   
“Let’s go home,” Calum decided, “We can eat and then watch a movie or something.”  
   
Michael and Ashton had clearly heard Calum because they started folding up the towels. Luke followed their lead and sat up to fold his own.  
   
It was a short walk back to the house, and Ashton and Calum made small talk the majority of the way there, while Luke walked in silence beside them. He wondered if they planned to do anything once they got home. It wasn’t unlike them to spend the evening in the bedroom, with or without him. He didn’t want to join if that was the plan for that night. After a moment of thought he realized he didn’t want to join on any day in the near future, but that wasn’t fair to the others, since one of the unwritten terms of him staying was spending time in the playroom with them.  
He wasn’t going to be able to keep his end of the deal. He’d have to leave. That made him panic. He didn’t know where he was supposed to go if he couldn’t stay with them. He didn’t have any money, he didn’t have a place to stay. He wasn’t even allowed to try to find his family again. He’d have to go back to the Block, which meant being sold to a family that wouldn’t treat him nearly as well as Luke and Calum and Michael.  
   
“Luke, are you alright? You’re being very quiet,” Michael noted.  
   
“He said he was tired,” Calum said.  
   
Luke didn’t reply. Instead he was starting to panic. Eventually they were going to realize he wasn’t going to be able to sleep with them, and then they were going to kick him out. It was only a matter of days—maybe even hours, if he was letting himself be dramatic—until they’d catch on and get rid of him. He wasn’t ready for that. He needed to get away from them so he could think. If he didn’t come up with a plan before they caught onto the situation, he’d be stuck with two terrible options, and he needed to have something to fall back on.  
   
He couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t think at all with them chattering around him. They were almost at the house, then they’d get caught up in making dinner and he could sneak away to think things through. He couldn’t afford to make any rash decisions.  
   
“Luke, something’s seriously wrong, what is it?”  
   
Maybe Luke wasn’t being dramatic by thinking they’d catch on sooner rather than later.  
   
“Luke, answer me,” Michael urged, “You look terrified, what’s going on?”  
   
Calum and Ashton stopped talking and turned their attention to Luke who shrugged. Michael wasn’t fooled by Luke’s nonchalant gesture in the slightest, but Luke didn’t offer any explanation.

The second the four boys walked through the front door, Luke set off for the kitchen. Ashton dropped the towels in the entry to deal with later. He trailed after Luke, the other two following closely behind. The youngest was letting out shaky breaths. His eyes were glassy and his hands trembled. He didn’t even know what he was looking for—just something to distract him. His mind was clouded in a growing panic.  
   
“Luke, talk to us,” Michael begged softly.  
   
Luke ignored him. The boys stood by the island, all watching the youngest dig through all of the drawers and cabinets before walking back towards the front door. Luke’s breathing was labored, and his hands shook as they ran through his hair. He needed air. Being in the house was too much, it was better outside. He couldn’t just walk out the front door, though—they’d follow him. As if to prove his point, Calum followed him to the entryway, a couple steps behind. Luke smacked Calum’s hand away when the older man placed it on his shoulder. His narrowed eyes widened as they landed on a row of keys hanging on the wall. This was it. He’d go for a drive. He needed space. Probably more than Calum and Ashton and Michael wanted to give him, but he needed some space.  
   
Calum tried again, reaching out to take Luke’s hand. Luke yanked it free. “Don’t touch me,” he snapped, voice cracking.  
   
“Luke, come on, you need to tell us what’s wrong so we can help. What happened? What are you looking for?”  
   
The blond grabbed the first set of keys and yanked open the door.  
   
“Luke! What the hell?”  
   
Calum reached out to grab the younger boy again, but Luke evaded his grasp and bolted for the car sitting out front. The other three followed in a hurry, but not fast enough. Luke made it into the car with the doors locked around him before anyone else could get in. He took a deep breath.  
   
“Luke, unlock the car right now!” Ashton demanded, banging on the window.  
   
Luke shook his head and pushed the keys into the ignition with shaky hands.  
   
“Luke, I swear to god, open the door,” Ashton threatened as Luke began to drive away, “Luke!”  
   
The older boys watched helplessly as Luke drove away from the house.  
   
Luke drove. He didn’t know where he was going, but he drove along any road that would take him away from the house. He focused on his breathing trying to keep the oncoming panic at bay as long as possible. He could hear a phone ring—someone had left it in the console—but ignored it. It fell silent then rang again, and Luke reached for it.  
   
“Luke? You have to talk to us. We can’t help you if you shut us out.” It was Michael.  
   
“I can’t,” Luke whimpered, “I need—I need you to leave me alone.”  
   
Luke sped up down a main road.  
   
“Luke you stole Ashton’s car. If you want to go, you can, but you’re going to get in a lot of trouble for stealing a car if you get caught. Why don’t you come back and we can talk about it. Ashton can have his car back, and we can—we can find you a new family if that’s what you need. Is that what you need?”  
   
“I don’t need—no, I—Michael I need you to go away, that’s what I need.” Luke’s voice shook with every word. Luke didn’t need a new family. What he needed was space. He was trapped.  
   
Michael sighed. “I can’t make you come back, Luke, but please think about what you’re doing. We want you here.”  
   
“I want to be alone,” Luke whimpered, his voice quiet.  
   
“You have a room here, Luke, you can be alone there. We won’t bother you, I promise. Do you even know where you’re going? Do you have a plan? You can’t just disappear like this. This can’t end well for you. Let us help you. Come home and talk to us,” Michael pleaded.

Luke’s eyes watered, blurring his vision and forcing him to slow down.  
   
“Michael that is not my home,” Luke snapped, his voice cracking, “It’s not—please—leave me alone.”  
   
“Will you come back? Please come back, Luke.”  
   
Luke hung up the phone, tossing it into the seat beside him. A choked sob fell past his lips and he pulled into the first parking lot he could get to. His vision blurred as his tears spilled over, racing down his cheeks freely. The sound of himself crying was all he could ear. He crossed his arms on the steering wheel and leaned his forehead on them. He was terrified. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be cleaning houses and cooking people dinner. He was supposed to be forgotten. He wasn’t supposed to be part of the family. He wasn’t supposed to be a human plaything. He wasn’t supposed to be annulled.  
   
It grew darker outside as he sat crying in the front seat. He turned on one of the dome lights before pulling his knees into his chest. The sun dipped below the horizon.  
   
He had spent years expecting it to be different. He liked it exactly how it was, but he knew that would inevitably change because while it was so easy right now, they bought him to have sex with him, and he was eventually going to have to accept it. He just wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t know if he ever would be, and they weren’t going to let him put it off until the day he died.  
   
A few days ago he thought he could make it work and it would all be okay, but he couldn’t do it. He needed an out. He needed a family just like this one, but one that didn’t want him for his body. He couldn’t stay with them. He couldn’t go back either. They’d kill him. He stole a car and ran for the hills. If they didn’t kill him they’d make him wish he were dead. He was more trapped now than he was before he ran off.  
   
That only made him cry harder. He was going to have to face them sooner or later, or he’d have to sell himself back to the Block. The first option was far more appealing, but he was still terrified. He figured the longer he waited the worse it would be for him, so he took a deep, shaky breath, and reached over for the phone. He dialed the most recent number and let it ring.  
   
“Luke?” It was Michael.  
   
“It’s me,” Luke replied softly, “I’m…I need—”  
   
“If you need space you can have it, Luke, I promise, I—”  
   
“No, I—I need you. I’m lost a-and I want to come back, and I need you and I’m sorry,” Luke whimpered, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
   
He had majorly screwed up, and didn’t want them to be mad. They were going to be, but he didn’t want for them to be.  
   
“It’s okay, Luke, it’s okay,” Michael soothed the boy on the other end, “take a deep breath for me. Relax a little, and tell me where you are, okay?”  
   
Luke took a shaky breath and looked around before replying.  
   
“I’m—I think I’m on a street called Woodmont. There’s—there’s a big store and I’m in the parking lot. I-In the car.”  
   
“Alright Luke, I know where that is, okay? You must’ve been driving in circles. You’re not too far away, so I’ll be there really soon. Don’t worry. No one’s mad at you. We can talk after we get you home. Hang tight. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be there.”  
   
“Okay,” Luke said softly.  
   
“I’m on my way right now. It’s gonna be okay.”  
   
Michael hung up and Luke put the phone back on the seat. Another sob ripped through him as he waited for Michael to arrive. It was dark outside now, and he had no idea how much time had passed since he had left. He hoped it hadn’t been too long, and that Michael would forgive him, and help him find a nice new family.  
   
Luke looked up at Michael when the car door opened, willingly accepting the older man’s embrace. Michael sat on the edge of the seat and pulled Luke into his lap.  
   
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Michael murmured, “it’s alright, Luke, I’ve got you.”  
   
Luke clung to Michael like a lifeline, his fingers bunched tightly in the older man’s shirt, his forehead pressed firmly to his chest. It was much harder for Michael to hurt him if he didn’t have any physical leverage, and Luke was under the impression that Michael wanted to kill him, despite saying he wasn’t mad.  
   
“I’m sorry,” Luke cried, “I’m so sorry, I’m—I’m—I’m—” Luke cut himself off with a choked sob.  
   
“I’ve got you,” Michael repeated.  
   
“Please don’t hate me,” Luke begged, “I’m so sorry, I-I can’t—I’m—and you didn’t even—do a-anything—I’m s-sorry—”  
   
“Luke, Luke, breathe, baby, breathe,” Michael stroked Luke’s bare back softly, pressing kisses to the top of the blond boy’s head, “It’s okay—hey, hey, I mean it, it’s okay, we don’t hate you. We could never hate—”  
   
“B-But I stole y-your car—and—and I can’t do—I can’t do what y-you w-want me to do, and—and I’m—I’m—I want—I can’t—”  
   
“Shhh,” Michael soothed, “I know, I know. You don’t have to explain yourself right now, okay? You can do that later. Just breathe for me. Take a deep breath—that’s it, I’ve got you. It’s okay.”  
   
“I’m sorry,” Luke whispered again, his voice shaky and rough.  
   
“I know,” Michael hummed.  
   
He hugged Luke into his chest, sitting with the boy until he had cried out all of the tears there were to cry. They younger of the two clung so tightly to Michael that he was bound to leave bruises, but Michael only held Luke tighter to his chest, murmuring comforting words.  
   
“I’ve got you, Luke, you’re safe, and you’re okay. Come on, we’ll get you home and we can talk it out, yeah? No one’s mad. Let’s get you back home.”  
   
Luke sniffed and nodded against Michael’s chest. He struggled to believe that no one was mad at him, but he didn’t have a choice but to go where Michael would take him. He clung tightly to Michael’s shirt, attempting to muffle his sobs in the fabric.  
   
“I’ve got you, Luke, it’s going to be okay.”  
   
“I’m so-orry,” Luke whimpered.  
   
“I know, baby, I know. Come on, you need to scoot over so I can drive, okay?”  
   
Luke shook his head. Driving meant going back to the house, and going back to the house meant facing Calum and Ashton and they were going to be mad. Michael rubbed Luke’s back.  
   
“Luke, come on. We can sit here for a few more minutes, but it’s late. Do you wanna tell me why you ran off? You scared me, you know. I didn’t know if you’d come back.”  
   
Luke buried his head further into Michael’s chest. “I can’t,” he whimpered.  
   
“What do you mean you can’t?”  
   
“I can’t…do that,” Luke mumbled, “I-I-I can’t—you can’t—it’s—I can’t stay,” he whined, “I can’t do it.”  
   
Michael let out a heavy sigh. He pulled Luke back so they were eye to eye, his hands heavy on Luke's shoulders.  
   
“Okay,” Michael said steadily, “If that’s what you need, we’ll figure it out. We’ll find you a new family.”  
   
Luke shook his head. “I don’t w-want a new family,” Luke cried.  
   
“What can I do to help, Luke?”  
   
Luke wiped a tear from his cheek.  
   
“It’s—I don’t—it’s—it’s a catch twenty-two,” Luke sniffed, “I have to leave, but I can’t.”  
   
“Of course you can, we’re not forcing you to stay. God, we want you to, but you don’t have to. Not if it makes you this upset.”  
   
Luke hiccuped. “I don’t—don’t want to g-go,” he whispered.  
   
Michael furrowed his eyebrows, visibly confused. Luke didn’t blame him.  
   
“We’re not forcing you to leave, either, Luke, what’s going on?”  
   
Luke shook his head.  
   
“I can’t read your mind,” Michael said, his tone of voice making Luke believe that Michael really wanted to be able to do exactly that. “I have no idea what’s going through your head. I have no idea what sparked this. I have no idea what you want us to do. I have no idea what I can do to help.” His voice was weak. “You’ve gotta talk to me.”  
   
Michael lifted Luke out of his lap and into the passenger seat. He took Luke’s hands in his own.  
   
“Something needs to change, and we’re going to need to figure out what that is tonight, alright? We’re going to sit down, and we’re going to talk it out, and you’re going to tell us exactly what’s wrong so we can fix it, okay? It’s important.”  
   
More tears fell from Luke’s eyes.  
   
“They’re—they’re going to be so mad at me,” Luke whispered.  
   
“That’s not true. Ashton is terrified that you’re leaving. Calum’s scared too. They’ll be loud, and you’re definitely going to get a mouthful, but they’re not mad. They’re scared. They have every right to be mad, but neither of them are, okay? So we’re going to go back to the house, and you’re going to be fine.”  
   
Luke nodded. He had no choice. He could listen to Michael, or he could go back to the Block.  
   
Michael let go of one of Luke’s hands to put it on the steering wheel. He switched the car into drive, and pulled out of the parking lot.  
   
“I think it’s only fair to warn you,” Michael said after a few minutes of silence, “Calum did mention how the two of you agreed that if you ever scared him shitless again—meaning what you pulled today—that he’d spank you, so I’d imagine that’s in your future if you choose to stay.”  
   
Luke’s hand stiffened in Michael’s. He had forgotten about that conversation, but now he was even more reluctant to go back to the house.  
   
“I’m not trying to scare you away,” Michael murmured, “I really don’t want you to go, actually, but if that’s what you need to do, I’ll support it. I’m just saying that you probably can’t avoid Cal forever if you don’t go. I’d offer to talk him out of it, to get you to stay, but I don’t want to bribe you either way.”  
   
“Okay,” Luke whispered, because there wasn’t much else to say.  
   
Michael pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. He turned to face Luke.  
   
“We’re only going to talk right now, okay? We’ll discuss what’ll happen next, and then we’ll go to bed, and then we’ll do what we need to for you tomorrow. Does that sound like a good plan?”  
   
Luke offered a shaky nod.  
   
“Okay then. In we go.”  
   
Michael released Luke’s hand and opened the door. Luke mirrored him on the other side of the car, the two climbing from the vehicle and walking up the front steps. Michael pushed open the front door, and stepped inside, Luke following. The moment Luke was through the door, Ashton and Calum were on him. Luke gasped and closed his eyes, expecting a blow, but let out a sigh of relief when he realized the two men were hugging him.

"What were you thinking?" Ashton snapped, arms still wrapped tightly around Luke, and his head tucked into Luke's neck. His entire body relaxed into the younger boy's. “I thought you weren’t coming back,” he whispered. “I was so scared.”  
   
“Let him go,” Michael said gently, “Luke isn’t sure he wants to stay.”  
   
The two boys stepped back immediately, and Ashton put his hands on Luke’s shoulders, looking the youngest straight in the eyes.  
   
“You don’t want to stay?” He asked, voice cracking. His eyes were red and glassy, his eyebrows knitted together tightly.

“I don’t know,” Luke whispered.

“Is there anything we can do to make you want to stay?” Ashton pleaded.

“That’s what we need to talk about,” Michael interjected, “so let’s sit.”

He plopped himself down at the dining room table and the rest followed. Michael had a relaxed and almost jaunty disposition, but Calum and Ashton didn't share his ease. Both were staring intently at Luke, waiting. Ashton's eyes were red, and Calum's face was set in a frown that was so stony Luke struggled to not back away. 

Luke took a deep breath. He had to tell them that he didn’t want to sleep with them, and they were going to kick him out. Or they’d force him to submit to them. He wasn’t sure which was worse, but he didn’t think they’d choose the latter option. This was it for him.

Calum sighed.

“Why don’t we start with you telling us why you ran off? Everything was fine until we started walking back to the house. Did we say something?”

Luke shook his head.

“You—you didn’t—it’s not,” Luke paused and took a deep breath, “I can’t have sex with you.” He cringed. “I just—I’m not ready, and I don’t know if I ever will be, and you guys definitely expect me to be ready at some point, and that’s scary, and I trust you but I can’t expect you not to expect something from me, and—and I can’t do it. I’ve tried talking myself into it, and I’ve tried talking you into it, and I’ve tried avoiding it but then when I avoid it you guys end up initiating it, and it’s not something that’s going to go away.”

That was it. It was out in the open, and it would only be a matter of seconds before they decided what to do with him.

“Luke all you had to do was say that,” Calum said gently, his stony frown turned to more of a concerned expression. “You didn’t have to run off—that’s something we can fix so easily.”

Luke shook his head. “You don’t get it, I—I can’t stay if it’s going to be like this, but—but I can’t go because this is as good as it gets, and I sound crazy for thinking about leaving.”

Michael snorted.

“Hardly,” he said dryly, “you’re not crazy, Luke. You’re wrong though, thinking that we’re as good as it gets, so if this isn’t the right fit for you, we can find you a better one.”

“But,” Ashton added, “if you want to stay, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and we won’t expect it from you, either.”

Luke huffed.

“You don’t get it—fuck, I don’t get it. I can—I’m fine with what we’ve been doing, I think—that’s not bothering me, but—but if it’s going to go further, I think—I think that’s what scares me. Yeah, that’s what I’m scared of. This is—this is okay. This I can do, but I’m not ready to do anything else even though you are. And you say you don’t expect it from me, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want it from me, and that’s…a lot of pressure to not fuck it up.”

Michael reached over at took one of Luke’s hands in his own.

“We don’t want to take it further with you if you’re not okay with it, Luke. Honestly, we didn’t know if you’d even be comfortable doing what we’ve done so far, so we have no desire to push our luck. If this is all you’re okay with, then we’re fine with that too.”

Michael couldn’t have been more sincere. Not one of them could have.

"You bought me for sex,” Luke said quietly.

“No, we bought you back your freedom, and in addition to that we hoped that you might be interested in sleeping with us, but the two things aren’t correlated.” Calum said slowly, “They’re not. It’s not the price you have to pay for your annulment. We actually hoped you’d see it more as an added bonus—not to sound like we’re the best lays or anything.”

Luke took a deep breath. No matter how many times they said it, he still couldn't quite believe it. They didn't given him a reason to doubt them, which is what made it all so much more confusing to him. 

“I’m scared,” he whispered.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Calum replied. “And that’s also something that we can fix, if that’s why you want to leave. You don’t need to be scared of us taking it further without you wanting to. Like I said the first day you were here; we'll never do anything you label a red.”

Luke nodded. They had stayed true to their word so far. This was better than going back to the Block. He’d take it. He could handle it. 

“O-Okay,” he said quietly. “We can—we can make this work?”

“Of course,” Michael insisted softly. “So you’ll stay?”

Luke closed his eyes and nodded.

Michael squeezed his hand gently.

“Come here,” Calum said, standing up.

Luke complied, and Calum wrapped him in a hug. He savored it for a long moment, bracing himself for what he was walking into next. He pulled away and took a deep breath and started for the stairs.

“Where are you going?”

“M-Michael said you—well—we agreed that—that if I scared you, you’d—you’d—”

Calum’s eyes widened and his lips parted. “Oh,” he blinked slowly, “I did say that. Are you sure? I think you’ve punished yourself enough tonight.”

“I…I agreed to it.”

So far they had kept their word, and it was only fair if he was held accountable for running away. 

“Alright then,” Calum said cautiously, slowly, “if that’s really the case, then there’s no better time than the present, and there’s no point in putting it off.”

Luke nodded and followed Calum up the stairs, heart racing in his chest. Calum stopped outside the playroom. He turned to face Luke, positioning himself between the younger boy and the door. 

“You sure?” He asked, and Luke nodded again, “Alright, then use your colors if you need to.”

Calum pushed open the door. He walked to the end of the bed and took a seat on the edge of the chest there. Luke stood across from Calum, his back to the closet. He held so still that his hands were shaking.

“I made it very clear what would happen if you scared me like that again, didn’t I?” Luke nodded. Calum’s tone was steady and vaguely condescending, making a shiver run down Luke’s spine. “What was that?”

“Yes, you did.” Luke said quietly.

“And you still made the choice to scare me again.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke whispered.

“Come here.”

Luke hesitated to take the few steps needed to be within Calum’s reach.

“Luke, I said come here. Don’t make me come get you.”

That was enough for Luke to step forward. Calum reached up and pulled Luke towards him and down over his lap in one quick motion. Luke yelped at the suddenness, but didn’t struggle to get back up. He braced himself on Calum’s thigh, knowing better than to try to stand.

“Do you remember what my exact words were?” Calum asked.

Luke nodded.

“What were they?”

“If you ever scare me like that again I’ll spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit,” Luke recited in a whimper.

“Good boy. This is a punishment, alright? You need to understand two things. First, what you did wasn’t okay. Second, I want you to trust that I’ll always keep my word, no matter what, and I specifically said this would happen, didn’t I?”

Luke took a shaky breath, his body tense. He nodded.

"What was that?”

“Yes, you did.”

Calum pulled Luke’s swim trunks down. Luke gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself for what was to come. Calum's hand rubbed over the bare skin as he spoke.

“I want you to count for me, and after each one tell me your color. It’s going to sting. It's supposed to. I know how hard I'm hitting, but I don't know your pain tolerance. If your color changes, you need to tell me. Do you understand?”

Luke nodded.

“Say it out loud.”

“Yes, I understand.” Luke whimpered.

He took a deep breath. He would be fine. Calum wasn’t going to hurt him more than he could handle.

“Good boy. We’re going to five.”

With that Calum lifted his hand and brought it back down onto Luke’s skin. The slap echoed around the room. It wasn’t particularly hard. Hard enough to leave a handprint, yes, but not hard enough to well and truly hurt. It was more about the fear than the pain.

“One,” Luke gasped, “green.”

“Good boy,” Calum repeated.

He brought his hand down again, harder this time, and Luke let out a whimper before saying, “Two, green.”

When Calum’s hand met Luke’s skin the third time, Luke’s hands flew back to cover the tender area with a hiss. “Three,” he whispered as Calum dragged Luke’s hands out of the way. He held them against Luke’s lower back. Now it hurt. He didn’t think it would sting as much as it did, but then again, Calum had warned him it would hurt. 

“What’s your color?”

“Green.”

“Good boy. Two more.”

Luke’s body tensed as Calum’s hand made contact with his tender skin for the fourth time. He could feel his eyes watering.

“Four,” he gritted out, “Green.”

“Last one.”

Calum made it count. The slap jolted Luke’s body forwards and echoed around the room, and the sting made the tears spill over and run down his cheeks. 

“Five,” Luke whimpered, “Green.”

Calum rubbed his hand over Luke’s reddened skin for a long moment before pulling Luke’s swim trunks up and back over the tender flesh. He tugged Luke up into his arms.

“All done,” he murmured, “We’re all done. You took your punishment so well, Luke.”

The younger boy was taking deep calculated breaths. His head and hands were pressed into Calum’s chest, and his eyes were glassy.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke whispered.

He was shaking in Calum’s arms.

“I know, I forgive you, Ashton forgives you, Michael forgives you,” Calum hummed, “It’s over now, alright? It’s in the past. We’re all done now. You did so well. It's all over.”

Luke took another shaky breath. It didn't make sense how quickly Calum went from punishing Luke for his behavior to praising him just moments later. 

"You're okay, Luke, I've got you. Breathe with me, alright? In and out. Can you feel my heartbeat? Focus on that for a minute. Nice and easy."

Calum stroked Luke's back in a slow and steady rhythm. Luke didn't move. He simply let his heart rate steady alongside Calum's, and matched his breathing to the rise and fall of the older man's chest. As he focused on that, he grew sleepy in Calum's arms. Calum murmured soothing words in his ear as Luke's body relaxed against the older man's. All of his panic and stress was disappearing as though it were seeping out of his bloodstream. 

“I’m going to take you to our room now, alright? You can lay down and rest. We’ll get you something clean to wear, how does that sound?”

“Okay,” Luke whispered.

“I’m so proud of you, Luke,” Calum repeated.

He stood up, Luke in his arms, and walked down the hall and into the master bedroom. Ashton and Michael were already on the bed. They looked up as Calum walked in with Luke in his arms. 

“Mike would you grab something for Luke to wear?” Calum asked.

Michael nodded and walked past Calum to find something from Luke’s room.

Ashton frowned. “Is he okay?”

Calum nodded, laying Luke down onto the bed. He laid down next to the boy, and he and Ashton sandwiched Luke in a bear hug. 

Luke let them move him around, laying lifelessly between the two. His fingers tangled into Ashton’s shirt, and Calum wrapped his arm around Luke’s waist. Michael returned with a pair of sweatpants and climbed onto the end of the bed. Modesty was thrown out of the window as Michael helped Luke out of his swim shorts and into the sweats before joining in the group hug on the other side of Calum.

“You did so well, Luke,” Ashton hummed against Luke’s forehead. His hand carded gently through Luke's curls. 

The younger boy sniffed and let out a shaky breath.

"It’s okay, Luke, you’re safe. It's all over. You can sleep now.”

Luke nodded, the motion weak. His tears soaked into Ashton’s shirt before they could spill down his cheeks.

“We’ve got you. I know you’re scared, and that was scary, but it’s all over now. You’re here. We’ll move forward now, alright? You’re okay,” Ashton cooed, “You’re okay.”

Luke pressed further into Ashton’s chest, and Calum closed the small space. Luke was comforted by the hug. It was quiet, but it was enough. The lights were still on, and Luke hoped they would leave them on until the morning. He closed his eyes, the tears no longer falling down his cheeks.

“You smell like the sea,” Ashton hummed.

Calum and Michael laughed, and Luke chuckled nervously.

“Is that okay?” Luke whispered.

“What?” Ashton asked softly.

“I-I can take a shower?”

Ashton laughed. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s perfect. Don’t worry.”


	5. Five - AUGUST 20

Luke woke up next to Calum. Ashton and Michael had escaped the pile of sleepy boys and had made it downstairs. He could hear the two fighting, their voices muffled by the walls of the house.

“I told Calum not to scare him away, and the next time I see him he’s crying into my chest!” 

“I told him what would happen, and not to mention he was the one who brought it up! I didn’t think Calum was going to do it, but he did, and it was entirely deserved on Luke’s end.”

“He had been back fifteen minutes, Michael. It couldn’t’ve waited until we had at least talked about it? That’s not how you deal with a situation like that!”

“Are you kidding? He stole a fucking car!”

“No, I’m not kidding. I would never punish you without discussing it first, and you know it. He didn’t get that—he got nothing! No warning, no explanation. Calum said himself that Luke had punished himself enough! Why did he feel the need to do it anyways? Luke had no idea what Calum was going to do, or if he’d be able to handle any kind of punishment. He's not exactly the best at saying when he's reached his limit, if last night way anything to go by. Just because you and me and Calum can handle it doesn’t mean he can. Especially not in the middle of a breakdown—Jesus Christ Michael why would you bring that up with him? He was losing his mind in a shopping center parking lot and you thought that was the right time to remind him that he and Calum had agreed to corporal punishment when there hadn't even been a proper conversation about it? He doesn't see it like we do, Michael. It's fucking scary to him. It's not a game.”

“Don't pin this on me, Ash, you don't get to be mad at me. I didn't do anything. You're scared that it'll be like last time and Luke will walk out, and that's not going to happen. That was hardly a punishment, Ashton, come on. You would’ve beaten the shit out of his ass, or worse, if he had been me, so don’t act like this was traumatic for him."

"But he's not you! He hasn't spent the last two years in the playroom every time he fucked up. Remember the first time I spanked you? You were so prepared for it, and you wanted it, and you still cried like a baby, and you're trying to tell me that Luke—who had no preparation, no warning—didn't mind? That's bullshit."

"His only problem is fucking us, not dealing with a few smacks to the ass. He’s going to be fine. He came back. He’s fine.” 

Luke buried his head into Calum’s chest and tugged the blanket up to his ears. He was not fine. He was scared, and stressed and still outnumbered by a lot of people who he wasn't sure wanted what he wanted. He came back because he had no other choice than to put his blind trust in them. 

“That’s so different. We have been together for years. We’ve talked about every single aspect of a thing like that, and he gets it dumped on him in the span of—what—an hour? He was nervous enough, and he was considering running, so it wasn’t the time to bring up corporal punishment, don’t you think?”

“Ashton. He brought it up—I mean, I mentioned it in the car, but I didn’t think he’d bring it up, and I wasn’t going to say anything after that. I have no idea what’s up with that, but he did, and it’s going to be okay, as long as you don’t start acting weird or start trying to jump him. He, to some extent, definitely likes you. Anyone who can fall asleep in your arms probably doesn’t hate you. What’s freaking you out?”

“I can’t lose him, too. I’ve been walking on eggshells trying to win him over, and he still ran off.”

Luke felt guilty. It wasn’t Ashton’s fault. If anything Ashton was the best reason to stay. But that wasn’t really fair to say, since Ashton was the one who hadn’t even touched him, and that was obviously what Ashton wanted to do—what all of them wanted to do.

“You’re not going to lose him. He agreed to stay, and all we need to do is make it clear that he calls the shots and we can go from there.”

Luke sighed and tried to fall back asleep in Calum’s arms. He was never going to be the one calling the shots when had to pay them back for his freedom. It was too scary to even think about what that meant for his future. 

He'd have to learn to be okay with what they wanted, even when it crossed his own boundaries. As soon as the trio moved past what he did with Calum, he'd be pushed past his limit in the playroom, and that would be it for him. He just wondered if he'd be able to play it off like he wanted to go all the way, when in reality he wasn't okay with anything more than a bit of heated kissing. 

Calum pulled Luke closer in his sleep, as if he could tell Luke was thinking about his first night with them. 

“I’m going on a run. I need to go for a run.”

“Ashton—”

The sound of the front door slamming shut made Luke flinch. 

***

For an entire week, all they did was watch movies, go to the beach, and play music. This was the third movie that they had started that day. Luke knew they were trying to avoid any indication that they wanted to sleep with him, for his sake. He appreciated the thought behind the gesture, but it was driving him insane because the resulting elephant in the room created a tension that was almost palpable no matter what they were doing.  
He knew it wouldn't last forever. Eventually one of them would give in and the charade would be over, and Luke would be back in the playroom. He had heard the trio in the playroom at night, after he had gone to bed. He would hear the closet door open and it made him think of all of the boxes filled with toys that the men were obviously playing with. The idea of the men using those things—handcuffs, rope, gags—sent a shiver down his spine. It made every minute of faux-calm even scarier, and after a week, Luke was getting paranoid. 

In that moment Luke was seated between Ashton and Michael in the den. Calum was on Ashton’s other side, the two of them snuggled into each other under a blanket. A bowl of popcorn separated Michael and Luke—Ashton and Calum shared a second bowl that sat in Calum’s lap—and Luke was hyper-aware of the fact that Michael never reached for popcorn at the same time as him so that they wouldn’t accidentally bump hands. As paranoid as he was that anything he did could lead to them taking him to the playroom, he was missing human contact. 

He was also very much aware of the gap between him and Ashton. The space was just big enough for another person to squeeze in between them, which wouldn’t have happened, since it seemed to be almost an unspoken rule that no one was allowed to even touch Luke for what Luke assumed was going to be an uncomfortably long time. They hardly spoke to him, either. Everything was a one word answer or a dull response to half-assed small talk. It wasn’t meant to be a malicious attempt at the silent treatment, but it felt like it on Luke’s end.

Luke could feel it, almost like magnets repelling each other. He knew it was his fault. If he had just kept his cool and gone up to his room instead of committing grand theft auto, like Michael had suggested, then everything would be normal. Or at least as normal as it had been. He wanted so badly to go back to that. 

He reached for a handful of popcorn, and noticed Michael’s hand jump back from the bowl so Luke could reach into the dish without an obstacle. He took one piece, popped it in his mouth, and reached for another, just barely missing Michael’s hand for a second time. He tried again and Michael pulled away as if Luke was contagious.

A sigh passed his lips. He hated how distant they were being. How they wouldn't even touch him. It felt like a rubber band being stretched to its limit, and the second one of the men decided they were done, the elastic would snap back full force, and Luke would take the brunt of it.

“You okay?” Michael hummed.

Luke nodded. He was fine in that moment, but he knew it would change soon enough. 

“Good movie?”

Luke nodded again, but he didn’t actually know. He hadn’t been paying much attention. He waited until Michael reached for some popcorn, and went for his own handful. Michael tugged his hand back again, their fingers brushing, and Luke looked at him, frowning. He couldn't tell if Michael was still mad about the stunt he had pulled, and that's why he was being so distant, or if there was a different reason. All of them claimed to not be mad, but Luke couldn't fathom that they'd be okay with what he had done. He just wanted everything to be okay again. 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Neither of them had managed to get any popcorn, so Luke reached over the bowl and laced his fingers with Michael’s. Michael tried to pull their hands apart, but Luke tightened his grip. He pouted at the older man. The imaginary rubber band didn't feel quite so taut anymore. 

It was Michael’s turn to sigh. “You okay?” Michael asked again.

“Now I am.”

Michael frowned, but didn’t pull away. He didn’t add to the conversation either. He shook his head and returned his attention to the movie. Luke sighed. It was a start, if anything. He just wanted them to stop avoiding him. 

***

They continued their quasi-silent treatment until the rubber band finally snapped, except, it was Luke who broke first. 

Ashton and Luke were both drinking coffee in the kitchen before they went on their morning run, and Luke was attempting and failing to make small talk to diffuse the tension that still hadn’t dissipated since he ran away two weeks earlier. They were sitting on opposite sides of the bar with the half empty coffee pot sitting between them. Ashton only offered one word answers to any questions thrown his way, which made Luke increasingly frustrated, but more so sad.

“Are you still mad at me?” Luke asked quietly. “Because I understand why you would be, and—”  
“I’m not mad at you.”

Luke leaned on the counter, using it as an anchor.  
“Then why won’t you touch me?” He asked quietly. “And—and I’m not talking about dirty touching, or why I ran, I’m not talking about sex, I get that, I know why you’re not doing that, I asked you not to do that—I’m talking about, like—like if right now I tried to hold your hand, you’d avoid it—I’m talking about how you won’t touch me, like, at all.”

His knuckles were white with how tightly he was holding his coffee cup, and his voice was louder. He was so confused and scared of what was going to happen if this pattern continued. 

“You’re acting like I’m diseased—which I am not, and you know that, too—I know you know that—and I know that’s not why you won’t touch me, I know it’s because you’re walking on eggshells or something for my own good, or because you're still mad even though you said you weren't, but for God’s sake, Ashton, stop. We’re trying to make this work, right?”   
            
Luke brushed his hair back with one hand, leaving it on the back of his neck. His voice was raising with each sentence. Ashton looked like he was about to say something, but Luke cut him off before he could begin.  
           
“Isn’t that what we all agreed to? Or—you agreed to try, and I agreed to calm down, because that was—well I shouldn’t have done it. That’s not really the point though, the point is that you’re acting really weird—you all are—and I’m—it’s my fault, I know, and it’s not fair of me to be pointing fingers at you when it’s entirely my fault, but come on, you’re taking it really far, don’t you think? You need to stop treating me like a china doll.”  
            
Ashton’s face fell at Luke’s words, which were growing increasingly loud.  
            
“Luke—”  
            
“This is way worse than how it was before—no, how it was before was actually perfect, you guys were as good as it was ever going to get, the issue, or what I thought was going to eventually be an issue, was the thought that it might not be perfect, but fuck, this is so much worse than that, than even just the thought of that!”  
            
He shook his head and let his hand fall back to the table, his fingers splayed out on the granite. He was standing now.  
            
“Luke—”  
            
Ashton’s voice was urgent, but Luke cut him off anyways.  
            
“This can’t work! Do you really think you guys can live with me in the house if it’s going to be like this? You’re going to get fed up and you’ll end up kicking me out or something!” Luke's voice cracked.   
            
Ashton abandoned his coffee cup on the counter.  
            
“You know that’s—”  
            
“Why are you doing this? Not just to me, which I hate, but to yourselves! Are you just a bunch of masochistic assholes or something?”  
            
“Oh, come on—”  
            
“Do you like it? Is it fun for you to watch me squirm?”  
            
“No!” Ashton was standing now, too.  
         
“Is this—is this what the plan was all along? Did you want to mess with me like this? Is it some sick mind game to you?”  
            
“Luke, if you would let me—” The older boy’s voice was nearly as loud as Luke’s.  
            
“Because if it is, just tell me! It’s still better than whatever the next best thing is, so fucking tell me what you want me to do because I—will—do it. I will do whatever you want because I don’t have a choice! You fucking own me! You wanna fuck me? Fucking fuck me then! Just do it! But for fuck’s sake stop doing—”  
            
“Luke, shut up!” Ashton’s voice echoed through the kitchen, even louder than Luke’s had been, effectively silencing the younger boy, who flinched at the loud noise. It was so quiet that Luke could hear Michael and Calum moving around upstairs, likely awoken by their brief shouting match. “Sit. Down.” Ashton ordered.  
            
Luke did as he was told. Pissed was an understatement—Ashton was livid. His hands were splayed out on the granite, and he leaned in close to Luke so they were only a foot apart.  
            
“First of all, this is my house,” he snapped, voice too loud for how close the two were. “You don’t have to like me. I bet you grew up hating every little thing about people like me because we’re more privileged than you, or whatever, so it’s a miracle that you’re so patient with us, but that’s not an excuse. You don’t get to say things like that to me, because that will get you booted out of here faster than you can imagine. I deserve at least that much respect.” Luke’s lips parted slightly and Ashton leaned back. 

The younger boy slumped a little in his seat and Ashton glanced up at the top of the stairs before continuing. “If you were Michael, you’d be over my knee before you finished talking.”  
            
Luke’s eyes widened and he bit his lip, his thoughts going back to Calum spanking him. Ashton was even stronger, and angrier, and that thought terrified Luke. 

“You know what? I’d probably be doing that to you right now if I had any idea how you’d react. God, I want to,” Ashton huffed. “But I have no idea what to do with you. I don’t know what you’re okay with, I don’t know what’ll scare you off—which I’ve already managed to do once. I’m not trying for a second time, despite what you seem to think. I’m not the bad guy you think I am, Luke, I just can’t understand you. You don't want to sleep with us, but you beg us to fuck you on day one. You don’t want to leave, but you drive off and camp out in a parking lot for hours. You were there for hours, Luke! We had no idea where you had gone. What was I supposed to think? I have never met someone as confusing as you in my entire life. And I don’t own you,” Ashton said, his voice low. “None of us own you. We’ve made that very clear as well, so stop with that bullshit. Don’t you go hiding behind that when you have every right that I have,” Ashton ordered. He crossed his arms over his chest. "In fact, don't go hiding behind anything! Be open with us for once! Tell us what you're thinking so we can do something about it. How am I supposed to know what you need if you never talk? You are exceptionally quiet, Luke. Tell me whatever the fuck you need from me."

Luke wasn’t sure if Ashton had finished yet. He was not about to interrupt again. The older man nodded for Luke to speak. 

"I'm scared of you," Luke whispered, knowing Ashton wanted a more concrete explanation than what he offered. 

“So you’re scared of me—us—because why? We’re stronger or older than you? Are you scared of everyone you pass on the street you lanky string bean? Or is it because we have money?” Ashton leaned on the counter facing Luke. "Why? Because you think that means I'll act on impulse and hurt you? Do I look like an ape? You are so paranoid that we’re monsters that you’ll let us do anything we want to you, and that's so dangerous, Luke! I'm not going to do that! We're not animals, Luke. Do you really think I'll ignore you when you say you're not okay? You think we'd all do that?" Ashton looked hurt, his expression bordering on betrayed. 

"I—no, I don't—well, yes? Maybe? I don't know," Luke whimpered, setting down his coffee having not taken a single sip, "I don't know, and that's what's scary—I don't know. I'm so scared all the time, and you're just okay with that! I'm in so much debt to you that I can't even fathom how I'm supposed to let it go, and trust that you don't want me to repay you. I don't even know how much you paid for me—”

“Two fifty.”

Luke choked on air. He wanted to throw up. 

“Two hundred and fifty thousand?” he whimpered. “That's—how—you wanna know why I'm so fucking scared of you? I owe you a quarter of a million dollars and until I can pay that off you get to do whatever you want and that's—how am I supposed to make myself trust you? I thought it was—does that even happen—that—it started a tenth of that—you—I thought—I’m—fuck Ashton, you wonder why I'm paranoid? I want to trust you, but it's hard! I can't just will it into happening. I'm sorry."

Ashton huffed. "You know what? I can't fix this. Go get your shoes."

It felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over Luke's head. "What?"

"Go get your shoes. We're going out." 

Luke stared at Ashton for a long moment, panic rising in his chest. That was it. Ashton had reached the end of his rope and was kicking Luke out. "Where are we going?" He asked, voice shaking. 

"You need some time alone where you won’t do anything stupid—so I won’t do anything stupid, so you're going to spend a few hours with Feldy."  
Luke didn't move. He didn't know who Feldy was but he was positive he didn't want to meet him, even if only for a few hours. 

"Who?"

Ashton ignored Luke's question and walked out of the kitchen towards the front door. "Put your shoes on."

Luke hesitated for a moment before following the older man. He could tell he was in serious trouble, and didn't want to make Ashton any angrier by refusing to obey. 

Ashton was on his phone, typing a message before he grabbed his keys from the hook by the door and waited as Luke slipped his shoes onto his feet, ignoring the fact that he was still dressed in his plaid pajamas. 

The younger boy righted himself and trailed after Ashton to the car, climbing into the passenger seat without saying a word. He didn't know what was going on, and he was terrified out of his mind. He sat with his arms around his middle. It was a short ride that had Luke's heart racing a mile a minute. All he could do was watch the passing street signs in silence as Ashton drove into the heart of the city and into a parking garage. He wondered who Feldy was, and how this person was going to fix him. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

"Come on," the older man said as he stepped out of the car. 

Luke spoke up again, pressing Ashton for an answer as they walked towards the front door of the neighboring building. "What's over there? Who's Feldy?"

"We work with him. He's kind of a father figure to us. Maybe he can get through to you, because clearly I can't."

Ashton pulled open the door and waited for Luke to step inside ahead of him before following. Luke let the older man guide him through the halls and into a big studio. The room was full of recording equipment and various instruments. At the sound board sat two men, one older with greying hair and a faded band t-shirt, the other with jet black hair and an electric guitar in hand. In the sound booth stood a blonde girl who, in Luke's opinion, resembled a pixie. She smiled and pointed through the soundproof glass at Luke and Ashton and the two men at the sound booth turned around. 

"Ashton," the older man said in greeting, a wide grin on his face, "and Luke, yes?"

Luke nodded shyly. As scared as he was of Ashton's angry mood, he still took comfort in standing close behind Ashton to shield himself from the strangers. 

"Sorry to interrupt. I know that it's short notice."

"It's alright, Ash, really. Zakk and I don't mind," the man smiled, "Luke, come sit."

Luke looked to Ashton, his heart rate picking up. Ashton was about to leave him alone with this stranger who he knew nothing about.

"You'll be fine. I'll be back around lunch time." 

With that Ashton left with a wave, leaving Luke standing alone in the middle of the room. His pulse was pounding in his ears. He wondered what they were going to do to him now that Ashton had left him to fend for himself. 

The greying man—Feldy he assumed—tapped the back of an empty chair, signaling for him to take a seat. "I'm not going to bite, you know.” Luke only stared at the man. “Alright, we can stand. Let’s go for a walk, yeah? I’ll show you around?”

“Okay,” Luke said softly.

"Zakk, you good here?"

"No worries man, you go."

Feldy stood from his chair and walked over to Luke. He put a hand on Luke’s back and guided him from the room. “So, I finally get to meet you. Have the guys told you about me at all?”

Luke was lost. He had no idea what Feldy was going to do, so he felt it was best to answer the man's questions both quickly and honestly. 

“Not really.”

“Just dumped you here with nothing to go on. They’re not always the most tactful, I’ll give you that," there was a brief pause. "Well, if they haven’t told you anything about me, then they probably didn’t tell you about Zakk, or that he’s been Annulled, too, did they? He knows how you feel better than I do, I’d imagine. I’m not really the one to talk to about that in particular, because I’ve only gone through all of this from the same end of it as Ashton has.” 

Feldy walked the two of them down the long hallway. It was well lit, and there were posters and records hung on the walls between doorways.  
“Did you,” Luke trailed off.

“Did I buy Zakk? Yes. Matt, too, but he’s not here today. Signed the Annulment papers the second I wrote the check, just like Ashton did with you. I don’t believe in Purchases. Never have.”

That put Luke at ease almost immediately. He was curious to know why. 

“You don’t?”

“No. There should never be a point in time where someone doesn’t have all of their rights. If the guys had decided to buy you and not sign that piece of paper, I would’ve killed them.” Feldy said bluntly before leading Luke down a wide staircase to their left.

“Oh.” That comforted Luke. 

“Down here’s the writing room. It’s away from the recording studio so more people can work at the same time, but I’m sure you could’ve figured that out on your own. So. You’re here because?”

“I yelled at Ashton,” Luke murmured.

Feldy opened the door to a large room filled with dozens of instruments. There were notebooks and pens scattered across a table, and half a dozen sofas and chairs.

“He deserve it?”

“Not really.”

"You sure?"

Luke shrugged. 

Feldy guided Luke out of the room and turned right down another hallway. “Did he yell back?”

“Not really. He doesn’t ever yell. He was mad though.”

Feldy looked at Luke. 

“Why’s that?”

“’M apparently not good at communicating.”

The greying man laughed, “And he thinks he is? A lot of his relationship with Michael and Calum was discussed ages ago, and it’s gone unspoken ever since. It’s not your fault you don’t get it just yet. It’s hard, I know. You’re not sure where you stand, you don’t want to upset anyone, and you don’t know what’s expected of you.”  
“Yeah.”

“I get it. It’s the same on the other end as well. Ashton has no idea where he stands with you, or what you expect of him, and he definitely doesn’t want to upset you, either. He really, really likes you, Luke. All three of them do.” They stepped into a kitchen at the very end of the hall. “Kitchen, obviously. You hungry?” 

“A little.”

“Sandwich fine?” Luke nodded. “Have you tried talking to Ashton—any of them—about how you feel? How do you feel about all of it?”

Feldy opened the fridge and stared its contents. 

“A little. I don’t really know how I feel? I mean I'm—I'm scared. I don't have anywhere else to go, and I don't want to upset them, but I'm not sure what they want from me. I mean, I have an idea, but I don't think I'm able to—to do what they want me to do.”

“That right there is what bugs him. You should say exactly that. If he knew what was going on inside your head, he could fix whatever issue there is between you guys. Feel free to sit by the way.”

“Yeah.”

Luke took a seat and the little round table, facing Feldy. He propped his elbows on the table and leaned forwards. His fingers tapped softly on the surface. 

“It’s not your fault, it’s perfectly normal to be overwhelmed or scared. Matt holed up in his room for weeks before we ever had a proper conversation because he had no idea what to do with himself. Zakk didn’t even believe I had signed his Annulment for a month. He was convinced I was lying to him about it, and it took ages to get him to trust me enough to believe it. Actually had him talk to Ashton so he could have an outsider's opinion, which is probably where Ash got the idea to dump you with me. Point being, everyone copes differently with the news," he closed the fridge. "Do you like bananas?”

Luke nodded and Feldy grabbed a couple ripe fruits from the counter before taking a knife and beginning to slice one of them up.

“It’s not—” Luke paused. He didn’t know Feldy very well, and he didn’t know what Feldy knew about what happened in their personal life. He didn’t want to say something he shouldn’t say and get in trouble later. “That’s not what I’m struggling with. I mean it is. I know I'm Annulled. I owe them a lot for that. Much more than I have. And I know what they're like. They just—their dynamic is…different, and I’m not used to it.”

Feldy stopped slicing the yellow fruit and looked up, knife still in hand. He looked concerned and a little angry. Luke leaned back, startled by Feldy's sudden change in demeanor.

“Are they forcing you into that?” Feldy demanded. “Are they making you do something you’re uncomfortable with?”

“No!” Luke said quickly, “No, they’re not—”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

Luke raised his hands in defense, or surrender, he wasn't quite sure.

“Yes, I promise! I wouldn’t—I’m not lying, I swear.”

“Good. Sometimes I forget that they’re like that.” Feldy sighed and returned to preparing the food, “You don't owe them a thing. Call it a gift if you need to, but don't think you owe them a penny for that. And it’s not really my business what they do at home, and I’d rather not know all the details, but you’re a wildcard there—uncharted territory. That’s—don’t let them push you to do something you’re not okay with, alright? If you need help with that you can always come to me.” 

Luke was a little bit surprised that Feldy knew about their playroom, or at least what went on in it, but he was relieved to know that he wasn’t oblivious to it.

“It’s, well they want me to be a part of that, and I—I keep telling them I want to be a part of that, and I think I'm telling the truth, but I don’t know them that well, and it’s entirely new to me,” Luke said, hoping Feldy understood what he was implying, “so I’m—a bit out of my comfort zone would be an understatement. I don't actually know what I'm okay with and Ashton’s mad because I’m not good at talking about it, which means nothing happens, and then they’re annoyed because they won’t do anything unless I can explain it, and I’m just—well—”

“Son, no one’s good at talking about that. It’s good to hear that no one’s going to do anything without a lot of talking first. That’s how it should be, especially with them. They're very blunt, and you need to be, too, if you want to survive living with them. If that’s something you want, you’re going to need to learn to say what you’re thinking, and not keep it bottled up inside, or you're going to get walked right over.”

That was exactly what Ashton had said, and both of them were right. 

“I know,” Luke said quietly.

“Do you like peanut butter?” Luke shrugged and nodded. “You know, when I was your age this wasn’t as complicated. To be fair, the whole idea of Purchases was pretty new, and wasn’t all that common. But when I reached that age, I was just as nervous as you seem to be. My wife and I—we weren’t married then, we were just dating—she and I waited ages before either of us could pluck up the courage to even talk about doing any of that. Now we have two kids."

Feldy handed Luke a plate with a peanut butter and banana sandwich on it. 

"Now, I'm not telling you that it's gonna be perfect, but it's not gonna be anything if you can't tell them how you feel. If you're not okay with whatever they do in that playroom of theirs, they need to know that. If you are okay with it, they need to know that, too. Maybe after we eat you should try writing it down. I find that helps me understand how I'm feeling."

"Like songwriting?"

"Sure, but it could be just normal prose, too. Whatever helps you."

Luke nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. He crossed his ankles. Feldy did the same. 

"Is there anything else on your mind, aside from the boys? Anything from your past following you that you might want to talk about?"

Luke shrugged. "I haven't thought much about it. Everything's been so...that it hasn't crossed my mind."

"How long have you been with the boys again?"

"Since the day after my birthday. It's been a little over a month."

"Not the day of?"

Luke shook his head. "Was a Sunday."

"What were you thinking while you were waiting to leave?"

"I was wondering what my future was going to be like. Who had bought me. Why they had done it. What they were like."

"You didn't think about what you were leaving behind?"

Luke shook his head again and set down his sandwich. "I wasn't leaving anything behind except my guitar." He paused. "I—I put myself on the Block three years ago. My parents didn't have...they didn't have enough to support me and my brothers. I did it for them."

"Do the boys know this?"

Like shook his head. "I don't think so."

"That's something they should know. What you did was incredibly selfless."

"I—I didn't know what else to do. I knew I could help if I—I didn't have a job, I didn't have anything. My brothers had that, and I wanted to help, and I knew they'd get a lot of money if I did it, so I did. I didn't think—this wasn't supposed to happen. I don't know what to do now."

Feldy smiled and set his sandwich down, half finished. "So you have brothers?"

Luke nodded but didn't elaborate. There was a lump in his throat that he knew he wouldn't be able to swallow back down if he let himself think about his family. Feldy's expression changed and it was clear to Luke that the man seated beside him knew that he wanted to cry. 

"Are you alright, son?" Luke nodded and bit his cheek. If he told himself he was okay, he would be. "You sure?" Luke shook his head. "Come here."

Feldy stood up and helped Luke to his feet, embracing the boy in a tight hug. Luke felt the tears spill over and he tried his hardest not to let any more slip down his cheeks. Feldy's hug was warm and comforting, and made Luke want to cry even more. He held Luke close to him as he spoke. 

"It's okay to miss them. They're your family. You're allowed to hurt." Luke nodded. "Nobody can replace them, and nobody will ever try to, but I promise you, you have another family with the boys and everyone here at the studio. You don't have to feel like you're alone in this."

Luke sniffed and pulled away, trying to discreetly wipe his tears away on the shoulder of his shirt. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. 

"How does Zakk do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be okay with it all."

Feldy bit his cheek and furrowed his eyebrows. 

"It took him a very long time. He had a younger brother that his parents didn't put on the block. For a few years he didn't want anything except to find them again."

"But—that's illegal."

Feldy nodded. "Very. Accepting that was hard for him, but he managed. I'm not really sure what it was that convinced him to try to move past it, but I'm sure you could talk to him about it if you'd like. He says that Matt's his brother now, and that he feels better knowing he has a new family that loves him too."

"So you want me to see Ashton and Calum and Michael as my brothers?" Luke cringed. That was never going to happen after he had been in the playroom. There was nothing brotherly about what he had done with Calum. 

"I want you to see this as a fresh start. However that unfolds itself for you is your choice."

***

Luke fell asleep on the sofa in the writing room. He had taken Feldy's advice and tried to write out how he was feeling. Zakk had stopped by and offered to help. He stayed for half an hour, listing all of the things he had worried about. Luke wrote some of them down, like what he was supposed to do to contribute to the household, and if and when he was allowed to go somewhere on his own.

After Zakk left him to his own devices he added a few questions about the playroom before ended up getting distracted by a scrap of paper on the table with an unfinished song scribbled onto it. The boy had tried to put it to music with the guitar in the corner, but fell asleep halfway through, his mental exhaustion knocking him out.  
It wasn't until Ashton shook his shoulder three hours later that he woke up, disoriented. Ice flooded into his veins at the sight of Ashton kneeling beside him. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

"Hey," Ashton whispered, "you okay? John said you guys talked for a while."

"John?"

"Feldy."

Luke nodded. His voice was slow and gravelly; further evidence that he had been asleep. "Did he tell you what we talked about?"

"No. It's not my business unless you wanna make it my business."

Luke bit his cheek. He knew he was supposed to open up to Ashton if he wanted to fix the tension and confusion between them, but he couldn't get the words out. 

Ashton sighed. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. Whenever you're ready." he paused. "Do you want to come home?"

His nod was shaky but clear. "Can I—can I come back here?"

"Of course. Anytime you want. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Luke whispered. 

Ashton stood up and offered a hand to Luke, who took it hesitantly. Ashton's drastic change of mood since that morning was unsettling. There was no anger in his voice. Instead Ashton was calm, collected. He guided Luke down the hall with his arm around the younger boy's waist. Feldy waved to them on their way out, smiling at Luke. 

"I'll see you boys soon, right?"

"Yes, sir," Ashton said just as the door swung shut behind them. 

Luke didn't speak again until they were pulling out onto the street. 

"Where were you?"

"I went to see my mom. Took my siblings on a hike."

"Oh."

"Sometimes it's just better to admit that I don't know what to do, and usually the case is that my mother has the answers. She didn't, mostly because she disagrees with the whole system and refuses to put money towards funding it, like I did when I bid on you, and because of that she has very little to go on. She did say she'd like to meet you, though."

"Oh."

"We're due for a big family dinner soon. It's usually all three of our families, so I suppose you'll meet everyone then, unless you decide to stay home, which you're welcome to do if you prefer."

"Oh."

"Is that your favorite word?" Ashton asked as he glanced over his shoulder to merge onto the highway. 

"I'm sorry, I just—I shouldn't have yelled at you, and now you're being so nice and I'm sorry."

Ashton sighed. "Look, this morning we got into a big fight, and it was mostly my fault—no, no, it was. I know you started it, yes, but I got mad at you over something that wasn't your fault, which wasn't fair of me to do. You can't help it that you don't trust us yet, and I'm not making it any easier when I get mad about it. I just wish you'd be more open with us when something is upsetting you, instead of internalizing it until you can't take it anymore. I really do want you to be happy with us. If you're going to stay, you should at least be happy, and I want to know what I can do to make that possible."

Luke bit his lip and frowned.

"I'm trying my best. Before I—before I ran off I was so happy, and everything was perfect, and I was so scared it would change, but it wasn't going to, was it? Everything was perfectly fine, but now it's all messed up." 

Ashton placed his hand palm up on the center console for Luke to take, which Luke did. Their fingers intertwined. 

"That's not true. It's not all messed up, it's just a bump in the road. We're all scared to tip you over the edge and send you running again. It's incredibly difficult to navigate the uncharted territory that is you."

"You're a bit of a challenge yourself," Luke murmured. 

"I know. We could all try a bit harder. I, for one, will try to stop treating you like —glass, was it?"

"A china doll."

Ashton nodded. "Right. I'll try to stop treating you like a china doll. As long as you promise you won't break like one."

"I promise."

"We can make this work. I want you to be happy."

"Me too."

"You said it was perfect before you left, right?"

"Yeah," Luke murmured. 

"Well let's do our best to go back to that. There's no reason it can't be perfect again."

"Okay.”

The car stopped outside of the house and Ashton shut off the engine. 

“And one other thing. Are you really scared of us because we signed a check? Because I don't want you to be. You're not in any debt to us whatsoever. No one’s holding anything over you. For every moment that we let you feel like you owe us something, you can’t consent to jack shit, because every single decision you make from what socks you wear to what job you get will be influenced by what you think we want, and that’s not okay. You don't owe us a thing.”

“I—” Luke sighed. “Okay,” he nodded. “I can't promise I'll be okay with that right away, but I'll try to remember. I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong.”


	6. Six - AUGUST 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been way too long and I've had this sitting on my hard drive forever. Wish I could say I'm back to regular updates but sadly I'm not. In honor of it being International Fanworks Day, here's a long overdue update!  
> Special thanks to my beta who I'm sure lost faith in me months ago.

Luke walked into the den, and three pairs of eyes met his. It had taken him half an hour to gather the courage to come downstairs after he and Ashton got home, and now he wanted to run back to his room. Instead he took a deep breath and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. The noise made everyone’s heads turn to face Luke. 

“I'm supposed to—I made a list. With Feldy. It's questions, so that I—so we’re all on the same page.”

Luke cringed. So much for courage.

“Wanna come sit?” Calum asked, patting the sofa between him and Ashton. 

Luke nodded and took a seat. 

“What's on the list?” Michael asked. 

“Some of the things I'm…still unsure about.”

“Can we see?” 

Luke handed the list to Ashton. 

“How can I help around the house…can I go out alone—of course you can…what can I do to get more comfortable in the pl—you made this list with Feldy?”

Luke sunk into the sofa a little bit, feeling as though he was being reprimanded, though he wasn't sure why. 

“Not all of it? Just some of the questions.”

Ashton nodded and nudged his shoulder into Luke’s playfully. 

“That's—good. I don't think he wants to know about the playroom. Not the point though. Which of these is the most important one to you? We’ll work our way down that way.”

Luke considered for a moment. Sex still managed to be the thing he was most scared of messing up, so he supposed that was the most pressing matter. He wanted to learn to be comfortable trying new things with the men he lived with, because he could tell it was supposed to be an enjoyable experience, and the only way he knew how to be comfortable with it all was to practice. Everything else was just down to a little bit of talking, and since the men seemed to want to do just that, he knew it could wait until they had broached the harder topic of conversation. 

Luke hid his face in Ashton’s shoulder and muttered, “the ones about the playroom.”

“Really?” Calum asked, surprised. 

Luke nodded. 

“Okay, we’ll start there then. Do you wanna go up there?”

Luke shook his head. “I'm—I’m working on being okay with that. I want to, just not right now. Maybe a little later.”

“Alright, that's okay. Do you wanna tell me what's in the playroom that's got you uncomfortable?”

Luke looked up the stairs towards the playroom and frowned. 

“I haven't—I don't have a lot of experience, and I don't know what half of the things in the closet are even for, and you have a lot of stuff like handcuffs and rope in there, and there are three of you and one of me. I just don't really know what to do, or how it's supposed to be as fun as you guys seem to think it is.”

“Remember a few weeks ago when we said it would be a good idea for you to explore the playroom with all of us there so that you could ask questions? I still think we should do that. You can get familiar with the stuff in the closet, and we can show you some of the things we actually do with the rope—I think whatever you're imagining is ten times worse. We’ll do it all on your terms, alright?”

Luke tucked his knees into his chest. 

“I'm imagining hanging from the hooks in the ceiling. How is that supposed to not scare me?”

Calum sent a sharp look towards Ashton before standing up with a shake of his head. He wore the same look on his face as the day Ashton brought Luke home, and Luke felt naked under his gaze. 

“Alright, come on,” he said, holding out a hand to help Luke to his feet. “I know you said you don't want to go to the playroom right now, but I'm putting that to rest. I'm going to show you how it's not scary. Mike do you mind being a guinea pig for me? I'm not gonna use Luke as an example.”

“‘Course.”

Michael stood up. Ashton trailed behind them with an expression resembling that of a kicked puppy. Luke wasn't sure why Ashton’s demeanor had changed so quickly. 

“Luke come here,” Calum said as he pulled open the closet doors. “How many kinds of rope are in here?”

Luke stared at the labels, counting three variations: cotton, nylon, and hemp. 

“Three.”

“Good. Nylon is a synthetic. That's what Michael used when he showed you those knots a few weeks back.” He handed a thin piece of rope to Luke. “You can't use that for suspension bondage because it's too smooth and won't hold the knots well. We use that when we’re doing grounded stuff on the bed or floor. It's the most comfortable one to use because it doesn't have much tooth, which is why that's what we use to start.”

“Oh.”

That was more information than Luke knew how to deal with, but he filed it away as important knowledge. 

Calum pulled out a piece of rope from the box labeled cotton. 

“This is cotton. It's really cheap so we use it for really complicated knots in case we can't untie it and have to cut the rope. Speaking of that—emergency scissors are in the scissors bucket. It's a natural fiber so it has tooth to it and it'll hold knots. It's my favorite of the three because it's easiest to work with.”

Calum took a piece of hemp rope and held it out to Luke. 

“This is hemp. It's rougher than the other two so we don't use it as much.”

Luke felt the rough material between his fingers. It was uncomfortable against his palm. He didn't want to be bound with it. Not only that, it had a rich earthy smell that overtook his senses. 

“It smells like dirt.”

“That's the other reason we don't use it often. It works just like cotton.”

Calum reached into the cotton box and pulled out a long coil of rope. He gestured for Michael to come over and outstretch his hands. Michael had his palms facing and balled his hands into fists. 

“I'm going to use the same binding Michael used on you a few weeks ago.”

Calum wrapped the rope expertly around Michael’s arms and tied off the knot by the man's pinky fingers. He stood on the chest at the end of the bed and took the spare ends of the rope, lifting them up over his head and through one of the hooks. Luke watched as Calum stepped back down and pulled the rope taut, which lifted Michael’s arms up towards the ceiling until he was struggling to stand on his toes. Calum tied the rope to a hook next to the closet before letting go. 

Michael grinned as Calum stepped back. 

“See? Not scary. Super safe.”

Luke nodded hesitantly. 

“Why though?”

“Mostly because it's an easy way to feel good.” Calum walked over to stand behind Michael and dragged a hand from Michael’s ribs down to his hip. “There's not much he can do to stop me from touching him, so I can do pretty much anything I want.” 

Calum’s fingers dug into Michael’s ribs and the man yelped and broke into laughter. He tried to squirm away, fighting to get a word out between laughs. 

“Don't—don't fucking tickle me Cal—you can't—you can't—can’t breathe, you're—not playing fair, I never said—”

“You said yes to being a guinea pig. I never heard anything about not tickling you.”

“No—ah—fair.”

“So fair.” Calum retorted, ceasing his tickling anyways. “While it’s mostly an easy way to feel good, we can also use it for punishments. Right Ashton?”

Ashton nodded, ducking his head. He still stood in the doorway, looking smaller than Luke had ever seen him. 

“Yes sir.”

Luke's eyes widened. He had never heard them refer to each other as ‘sir’ before. In fact, aside from when he and his peers would speak to their superiors at the Block, he had never heard anyone say ‘sir’ before. It was understood to be the term used when Purchases spoke to their buyers. As far as he knew, Ashton wasn't a Purchase. Ashton had had a Purchase, he couldn't be one himself. 

“But obviously that only happens when there's reason for punishment.” Calum reminded Luke, seemingly oblivious to what Ashton had said. “Do the hooks still scare you?”

“Only a little.”

“Nine times out of ten we don't use suspension, and when we do this is almost always the set up we have. It's easy to get out of with a little bit of help, and it's not very complicated.”

“It's still a little scary.”

Calum untied the rope from the hook by the closet and lowered Michael to the floor. 

“What about it scares you?”

Luke shrugged. 

“Before we ever do a scene we make sure we know exactly how everything works, and we lay out what is and isn't allowed.” Michael said as Calum worked on untying his wrists. “Like just now, with Calum tickling me. We hadn't discussed it, I wasn't okay with it, and he stopped. He may be the one with the power, but technically I’m still the one in control.”

Calum left the rope hanging from the hook in the ceiling, and Michael moved to sit on the chest. 

“How about this: if I were to tie you up, what would and wouldn't you be okay with?” Calum asked. “Would I be allowed to touch you on top of your clothes? Beneath them? Do you need your feet planted on the floor, or are you okay with hanging like Michael was?”

Luke bit his lip and clenched his fists around the rope still in his hands. 

“On top of my clothes,” he murmured. “And…flat footed.”

“Do you think that might change as you grow comfortable with the playroom, or is that the most you'd ever be willing to do while suspended?”

“I don't know, I—it could change.”

Calum nodded and brought a hand to Luke’s shoulder, rubbing it gently. 

“Do you want to give it a try? I can tie you up just like I did with Michael so you can see how it looks and feels?”

Luke hesitated. He was supposed to say yes, and be open to trying new things, but he still wasn't sure if he could handle it. What if they left him hanging there and went to another room? What if he freaked out and they decided he didn't belong there anymore? He could feel his chest tighten with his growing worry. 

“Luke,” Calum said softly. “You're overthinking it. Either you do want to try it, or you don't. Don't think about any other factors, okay? If you need to color out, you know you can. If you'd rather go downstairs and keep working on your list, we can do that instead.”

Luke took a deep breath. 

“I…I want to try. I'm scared but I want to try.”

Calum smiled.

“No need to be scared. Here—come stand where Michael was. Good, alright hold out your hands. What's your color?”

“Green.”

Calum picked up the end of the dangling rope, and took the spare pieces of rope from Luke. 

“Where am I not going to put this? Where would it hurt you?”

Luke pointed to the soft part of his wrists. 

“Why does it not go there? Do you remember?”

“It can hurt my joints and the important veins and stuff there.” Luke recited.

“Good boy.” Calum wrapped the rope several times around Luke’s arms. “Do I want to do lots of loops or only a few?”

“A lot, because it distributes pressure better.”

Calum grinned and nodded. 

“That's right,” he said as he tied off the knot. “I see you pay attention. You ready?”

Luke took another deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

“What's your color?”

Luke bit his lip before letting it go with a soft sigh.

“Maybe yellow. I don't—I don't want you to stop, but I'm a little nervous.”

“Let's try to make you comfortable enough for it to be green again, yeah? I'm going to tie off the rope when you tell me to, alright? You just say when.”

Calum began to pull the rope, sending Luke’s arms above his head. When there was almost no give, Luke began to grow nervous again. 

“Okay!” He blurted out. “This is—this is fine.”

Calum lowered the rope back down a couple of inches before tying it off. 

“What's your color?”

“Green?”

“Good boy. You said I could touch you on top of your clothes, right? So is this okay?”

Calum’s hands found Luke’s waist from behind. He rubbed tiny circles with his thumbs into the base of Luke’s ribs. 

“This is okay,” Luke murmured. 

Calum’s hands moved so that they splayed out on Luke’s chest. 

“Still good?”

“Yeah.”

Luke’s eyes fell shut as Calum’s hands ran down the length of his torso, stopping at the front of his hips. 

“No further, right?” Luke nodded. “You're doing so well, Luke. I’d say this is enough for today.”

“But this isn't all you do, right?” Luke said without thinking. “It's…more than just hanging here?”

Calum pulled away and began to untie the rope. 

“It is.”

“What is it, then?” Luke asked as he pulled his hands back down to waist level. 

“Sex, Luke. It's another way to go about having sex, which I’m not showing you because you're obviously not comfortable with that right now.”

“No, I-I know, I mean—how do you…have sex like that?”

Calum sighed and pulled the rope taut again, tying it off once more. He walked over so that he was face to face with Luke and held Luke’s waist. 

“Hook your legs over my hips,” Calum ordered. 

“What? Why?”

“I'm going to show you how you'd have sex like this. Trust me, okay? I won't hurt you.”

Luke obeyed, and Calum pulled Luke in so that their chests were pressed together. 

“Like this.” Calum helped Luke to stand again, and knelt in front of him, hands still on Luke’s waist. “And like this.”

“Oh.”

Calum stood up and came behind Luke. He hooked a hand under Luke’s knee and lifted it up, making Luke gasp and wobble. 

“Like this.” 

Luke leaned back into Calum’s chest for support, and the older man’s other arm slid around his torso to keep him steady. Calum squeezed Luke’s waist comfortingly. 

“That's…creative,” Luke murmured. 

Calum’s lips brushed Luke’s ear. “You okay?”

“Yeah, this is…good.”

Calum set Luke’s leg down and went to untie the rope again. “That's enough with the ropes for today, alright? You had several questions on that list that weren't about the playroom, and I think we should get to those too. I get that you want to be comfortable in here but it's going to take time, and pushing yourself isn't going to make your concerns go away any faster.”

He began to untie Luke's wrists. 

“Ashton, what else is on the list?” 

“How can he help around the house, can he go outside on his own, how can he earn money to pay us back for—Luke we talked about that. Really, you don't need to repay us for signing the Annulment.”

“Let's not open that can of worms right now,” Calum said as he finished untying Luke and began coiling the rope to put it away. “Luke you can help around the house however you like, whenever you like. You don't need to ask, and you don't need to feel obligated to help either. Picking up after yourself like you've been doing is plenty if you want it to be.”

“And you’re allowed to leave the house whenever you want.” Ashton said. “Just—leave a note or tell one of us when you'll be back so we don't freak out.”

Calum tucked the rope back into its box and pulled a few different bins out and onto the floor of the playroom. 

“Really?” Luke asked, taking a seat on the chest.

“Of course.” Ashton nodded. “It's a house, Luke, not a prison. You can come and go as you please, just please don't go for good.”

“I wouldn't.” Luke shook his head. “I–I’m happy here, I promise.”

“You have a very interesting definition of happy.”

“I want to be happy here. I like you guys. I just…I’m trying.”

It was true. Luke was grateful for what the trio had done for him in terms of his freedom. He could tell that they were trying to make him comfortable, and he was trying, in return, to be open to a lifestyle he hardly understood. Despite how foreign it was, he wanted to fit in. 

“That I believe.”

Michael took a seat next to Luke, and Ashton and Calum sat on the floor in front of the chest. Ashton rested his head on Luke’s knee as Michael pulled out a pillowcase from one of the boxes. Calum took a little rubber ring and handed it to Ashton. 

“You can put that on later,” Calum said quietly. “After Luke goes to bed.”

“Wanna show Luke this?”

Michael held up the pillowcase for Calum to see. 

“I've seen pillowcases before.”

“You've never used one in a scene. Very different.”

Luke frowned at Michael. He couldn't picture a way to use a pillowcase that didn't involve a pillow. 

“Okay?”

“Here—Cal will you—”

Michael handed the pillowcase to the younger man and turned his back on him. Calum took the pillowcase and stuck Michael’s arms in it before pressing the man onto his back. 

“See Luke? Makeshift handcuffs, and if—”

Michael struggled to sit up again. Calum pulled off the case and rolled it into a quasi-rope. Michael held out his hands and Calum wrapped the pillowcase into a different makeshift restraint before letting go. 

“It's convenient ‘cause sometimes we travel and Cal doesn't like to bring toys or anything, so we have to make do with what's in the hotel room.”

“This is like a kinky airplane safety demonstration,” Ashton said quietly. 

“Does that make me the sexy air hostess?” Calum asked. 

“Yes.” Michael deadpanned without hesitation, folding up the pillowcase and putting it back in the box. 

Luke raised an eyebrow. 

“You guys really like to tie each other up,” he said softly. 

Michael shrugged. 

“It’s just me, really, and sometimes Ash. You’ll never find Calum tied down. I’m just easy to manhandle. We don't always do that though. There are tons of things you can do without being restrained. It’s good to show you because it seems to be what scares you most, but there's other stuff in that box. If you see how harmless it actually is, your imagination can't run as wild.”

“What…other things do you do?”

Calum pushed one of the boxes towards Luke. 

“Lots of things. Just take a look in here and ask whatever you want.”

Luke peered inside the box and found several objects he could name. A dildo—self explanatory. A box of condoms—he knew what those were. A string of beads attached to each other? He didn't know what it was for, but it seemed fairly harmless. A few bandanas. Some clothespins. 

“What's that one?” Luke pointed to a small rubber ring like the one Calum had handed Ashton. 

Calum looked to Ashton.

“You wanna explain?”

Ashton sighed. He adjusted his head against Luke’s knee. Luke let his fingers card through Ashton’s hair. 

“It's a cock ring.” Luke cringed. “When you put it on it makes it so you can't come.”

Luke couldn't imagine the appeal, but he assumed there was one, considering the toy existed in the first place. He tried not to let his face show how averse he was to it. The whole point of asking about the toys was to be open and willing to try things. That being said, he was under the impression that the toy led to activities more intimate than he was okay with.

“Luke? You alright?” Calum asked, resting a hand on Luke’s knee. 

Luke nodded. 

“I'm just thinking, that's all. It's—I’m supposed to be open to new things. I have to give that thing a chance before I write it off, right? I just need to get used to the idea of it all.”

“You don't have to be okay with it, you know,” Calum said softly. 

Luke frowned. “I want to be. I'm interested in all of it. I want to…be comfortable with you guys.”

“You can be comfortable without this stuff. We won't fault you for it.”

“You do though.”

Calum rubbed his thumb over the inside of Luke’s knee. 

“We try not to. We’re just so used to it being our norm that having you be wary of it is new to us. When that's how people react to it, we usually don't mind, but we’ve never had someone live with us that hasn't been open to it.”

“I’m sorry. I'm trying.”

“So are we. You know, I was just as hesitant as you when we started doing this.”

“Cal, that's not the same at all,” Michael said, rolling his eyes. “You didn't want to hurt us. Luke’s scared of getting hurt.”

Luke shrugged, and Michael wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

“I don't want to be scared of that, though. You really enjoy being in here, I can tell. If it's that fun, why shouldn't I want to join in?”

 

***

 

Michael and Luke agreed that the best way to ease Luke back into things in the playroom was to jump right in, which lead to the two going straight up to the room at the end of the hall once Ashton and Calum had left for a run after breakfast the next day. Michael had pulled Luke up onto the bed and asked to kiss the younger boy, who nodded. 

But when Michael leaned in, Luke bit his lip and held perfectly still, making Michael huff and lean back. 

After three times, Michael was beginning to grow frustrated. 

"Seriously, Luke. What happened to giving this a chance? You look ridiculous. You're being ridiculous."

"I didn't fucking ask for this!" Luke snapped before whining and covering his face with his arm as he rolled onto his back. He didn't mean to snap at the older man. "I'm sorry,” he whined. “I'm trying my best here. I know you don't know what to do with me, but I want you to do something."

Michael sat up on his elbow. "Do you? Because you freak out every time I try to touch you."

Michael wasn't wrong. Luke tensed up the second Michael tried to simply hold his hand. 

"I'm not freaking out, I'm just--" 

"Freaking out. Look. We’ve gotten you off before. All I wanna try right now is kissing you. So would you please either tell me you don't want that so we can go play video games, or tell me that you do so I can stick my tongue in your mouth already?"

"I do, I do, I swear." Luke wasn't lying.

He did quite like his time in the playroom so far, and as nervous as he was, he still wanted Michael to kiss him. He just didn't want Michael to be disappointed if it wasn't good enough, because that would mean they wouldn't want Luke in the bedroom, which would mean they'd go back to acting like he didn't exist, which would lead to them wanting Luke to leave again. Everything was riding on Luke being good enough. It was better to find out sooner rather than later, but he would choose later if he gave himself the choice. 

Michael poked Luke's arm that was still hiding his face. "Will you look at me?"

Luke peeked up at the older man. 

"Sorry."

"Don't be, just relax."

Luke nodded and Michael leaned over to hover above him. Luke forced himself to relax and sighed softly, and Michael offered a soft smile and kissed Luke's nose, then Luke's cheek, then his lips. He was slow and gentle, acting as though any sudden movements would scare Luke and send him crawling under the covers to hide from the monster that was Michael. Instead, Luke let his eyes fall shut, welcoming Michael's kiss and pretending like the tension between them wasn't there. He forced his body to melt into the mattress and enjoy it, because he did enjoy it, he was just thinking too much.

Michael pulled back and Luke's eyes opened before they furrowed in confusion. "What is it?"

"You sure you're alright, and not putting on a front? I genuinely can't tell and I don't wanna push you too much."

"Yes, Mike, I'm fine. I'm--I'm only nervous, okay? That was nice."

Michael pressed his forehead to Luke's. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"Okay. I trust you." The tone of Michael's voice said otherwise. 

Luke shook his head. "No you don't." 

"No, I don't. Not yet, that is, because you don't trust me, and as long as you don't trust me, I can't trust you to tell me the truth. But I do trust my gut and it's telling me that kissing you is okay."

"I like your gut."

Michael laughed and brushed Luke's hair back. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes--green, you can kiss me."

Michael leaned in again, this time parting Luke's lips with his own to let their tongues slide against each other. His hand settled at the back of Luke's neck while Luke's found its place on Michael's hip. Their free hands interlaced between them loosely on top of the blankets. 

It felt really good to be that close to Michael. The nervousness began to dissipate as he relaxed into the familiar comfort of Michael's touch. There was something about the way Michael held him that made him feel safe in the older man's arms, despite the circumstances. 

Luke pulled away to breathe for a moment before Michael was angling his face towards him for another kiss, this one more intense from the start, yet slower, as if Michael feared Luke would change his mind. The younger boy didn't shy away from the touch at all. He dug his fingers into Michael's hip, pulling the older man in slightly closer before faltering for half a second. The movement had caused their hips to press together, revealing just how much the two of them were enjoying the moment. While Luke could feel that he was excited, he didn't want to go further just yet. 

Michael noticed and stopped altogether to look at Luke, guilt evident in his expression. 

"We should--we should stop for now," he said, licking his lips. "We need to stop." Luke opened his mouth to apologize for getting flustered, but Michael stopped him before he could begin. "Luke, it's okay. Whatever you're about to say, you don't need to. We shouldn't push it, alright?"

Luke offered a shaky nod. The nerves had come back full force. He knew Michael wanted to keep going even though he said otherwise, and he was scared that the older man was disappointed. 

"Sorry," he whispered. 

"Don't be sorry. Never apologize for being uncomfortable, alright?" Luke nodded again. "Good. Now why don't we go get some real food before Ashton and Calum get back and try to force feed you one of their green drinks."

Luke laughed, "Okay."

“This was good. Baby steps, alright?”

“Baby steps.”

“I figure we have twenty minutes before they get back. How many cookies do you think we can sneak without them noticing?”

Luke smiled. “Let's find out.”

***

“Come with me on a walk," Calum said as soon as he and Ashton walked into the kitchen after their run. He was drenched in sweat, as was Ashton. 

"What?" Luke asked, unsure if he heard Calum clearly. 

"Come with me on a walk. You haven't been outside in ages so grab your shoes, and let's go for a walk."

Luke nodded and went to collect his shoes, lacing them up quickly before meeting Calum by the door. He wasn't sure why Calum was insisting on a walk that very second, but he wasn't going to refuse. He was supposed to be working on his communication, and this seemed to be a good opportunity to do just that. 

"Where are we going?" The younger boy asked as Calum closed the door behind them. 

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know."

"Then we'll wander."

Luke eyed Calum suspiciously. The older man walked alongside him, oblivious to his utter confusion. 

"Why are we doing this?"

"Like I said, you haven't been outside in ages. Besides, we ought to talk."

That made Luke nervous. "About what?"

Calum turned the corner and Luke followed, half a step behind the quick-paced man. 

"You, obviously. How are you feeling?"

Luke was even more confused, now. "Fine?"

"Really? After what happened with Ashton you're just 'fine'?" Calum stopped at a driveway to stare down Luke and let a car pull out. 

"I'm—I'm—I don't know, is this a trick question? What do you want me to say? I'm thrilled that Ashton ripped me a new one and ditched me across town?"

"Hell no. No one's fine after Ashton's yelled at them. And on top of that you've been in the playroom twice in the last twenty four hours. That's why I'm asking." The two crossed the driveway and Calum took Luke's hand. "You seemed alright when I got back. What did you and Michael talk about?"

Luke blushed and shrugged. "Not much."

"Is that so?"

"He—we—why do you guys do this? You are so—so…you're so not shy about this stuff, it's—"

"Ah, I see," Calum grinned, "you really didn't do much talking. That's okay, that's okay. So you guys..."  
The older man trailed off, waiting for Luke to finish the sentence. 

"Kissed," Luke said quietly, "but that's all, we didn't—nothing else happened."

Calum rolled his eyes. "What? You think you need my approval or something? You can kiss Mike all you want. You don't need to hide it, or be embarrassed, or whatever this is. I was just asking."

Luke shrugged and looked at his shoes as they walked. He noticed they were walking towards the beach, probably because that's the only place they ever thought to take Luke. 

"You guys are very comfortable talking about that stuff."

"You should be too, you know. I know it's, like, a thing for you or something, but we're actually fine with the idea of people having sex—" Calum noticed Luke's reddened cheeks and backtracked, "—or just kissing and only kissing and nothing else," he teased, "Jeez, you look like a tomato, are you okay?"

"Fine," Luke said weakly, "I'm fine. Can we—can we not talk about my—my—"

"Sex life? Or, rather, lack thereof?" Calum smirked then lifted a hand in mock–surrender. "Okay, okay. I’m sorry, yes, we can talk about something else. What do you wanna talk about?"

Luke shrugged again. "I dunno, you're the one that wanted to talk."

They turned the corner onto the boardwalk that was parallel to the water. The beach was crowded, since it was Saturday, and no one had anywhere to be. 

"Okay, aside from your lacking libido—"

"It's not lacking!" Luke protested, "It's just—I haven't—never mind."

"Aside from your raging libido that you're suppressing extraordinarily well because you're a nervous virgin," Calum corrected himself, making Luke blush once again, "Is there anything that's keeping you from being happy with us?"

"I don't think so. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not happy, because I am, I promise. I like you guys, and, well—"

Calum shook his head, effectively cutting Luke off. He bent down and unlaced his shoes, and Luke did the same. 

"Look, it's clear that the only reason you're so nervous is because it's all new to you and you're not ready to have sex. I get that. I promise you, I get what that's like. I still don't get why you feel like you owe it to us—don't give me that look, Michael told me about that, and don't think I didn't hear you and Ashton fighting yesterday. I don't get it at all, but I know it's freaking you out a bit. You don't have to sleep with us at all if you don't want to. That being said, we're open about it. It's a big part of our relationship, as I'm sure you can tell, and that isn't going to change. Now, I'm not saying you need to join in, because you don't, but you need to be okay with it because we're not going to change who we are."

Luke picked up his shoes and tied the laces together in a bow. 

"I am," he insisted, standing up again. 

"That's good to hear, I'm just not sure I believe you," Calum sighed, righting himself and taking Luke's hand again. "This is a lifestyle for us. Inside the house we aren't shy about it like you are. We've been holding back because we don't want to freak you out, but it looks like that's not working so well."

"I'm sorry.”

They began walking again.

"I think we shouldn't be dialing it back anymore. If this really isn't your cup of tea then you should know so you don't feel like we're forcing you to stick around. You know we can—”

"No!" Luke stopped walking, and Calum turned to face him. "I—no, I don't want that. I don't want to leave. I want—I want to be here, Calum. I don’t want to leave.”

Luke was still unsure of his place with the trio but he knew he was safe with them. He knew he had a home there, and even if he wasn't entirely on board with their playroom antics all the time, he knew he wanted to be there. 

"Even though you're uncomfortable here?"

Luke shook his head. "No—I'm not uncomfortable. I—I've never been."

Calum let out a loud bark of a laugh. 

"Are you kidding me? You're not uncomfortable with how we live? And you think I believe that?"

"I'm not! I swear." Luke begged. 

"Really? You expect me to believe you ran away because you actually liked us? Come on."

Luke huffed and closed his eyes for a long moment. 

"I'm telling you the truth," he whispered, "I told Ashton—I ran away because—because I was too comfortable—I was afraid it would change. I'm telling the truth Calum, I promise."

Calum backed off the boardwalk and into the sand, pulling Luke with him. "Okay, say you're telling the truth—"

"I am."

"—Say you're telling the truth. What's the logic? Help me understand. We never talked about it, and now I'm in the dark. Explain this to me." The older man led Luke towards the water. The blond kept quiet. He wanted to cry with how frustrated he was. "Well?"

"I panicked, okay? I was happy—I am happy, and I'm not supposed to be. Nothing about this is supposed to be a good thing and I got scared because if I'm happy then there has to be something wrong, there has to be a catch, and there was, and it fucking freaked me out, so I ran."

"What do you mean you're not supposed to be happy?"

"I'm not! That's not what my life is supposed to look like. I'm supposed to be a—a servant or—or your—your—"

"What? My sex slave or something—" Luke paled, and Calum rolled his eyes, "—yeah. No. No, Luke, we don't want that."

The older man pulled Luke down so that they were sitting in the sand. The waves washed up on the sand just inches from their feet. A little boy in swim trunks ran past holding onto a leash with a tiny dog on the other end. They kicked up sand behind them.

"I know that now, but I didn't at first—"

"We—look, you know what our playroom is like. It's not like that. We don't even want you in there half the time—"

"It's the first place you put me when I got here, how was I supposed to know that's not what you wanted?" 

Luke dug his toes into the sand. 

"It's not! That was—that was a mistake on our part. That's not what we want. You know that now, don't you?"

Calum put his free hand on Luke's knee, the other still laced with the younger boy's. 

"I do, but that doesn't mean it didn't freak me out. I didn't get it until yesterday with Feldy. But that isn't the point. I—I realized that wasn't what you wanted and it freaked me out even more—"

"How?"

"Because you didn't want anything! I realized I was in debt to you, and that's scarier than anything else."

"I just don't get that."

Luke looked down, pulling his hand free of Calum's. 

"It means I'm your—your—s-sex slave because that's what you want from me and I don't have the money to give you instead. And that’s—that’s fine, but—"

"That is not fine! That is not what I want! It's not what any of us want!"

"Yes it is! You want me to join in on—on your—whatever that is, and I—"

"Luke stop. Stop. You don't owe us money and you certainly don't owe us sex." 

Luke hugged his knees into his chest. "You still want sex."

"And I have Michael and Ashton for that, I don't need to sleep with you." 

"But you want to, so you get to."

"Hell yeah, I want to, but you're gonna meet a lot of people who want to sleep with you, Luke, that doesn't mean just anyone gets to do that. I have no intention to act on it, and I don't want you to feel like you need to, either.”

Luke was quiet for a long moment. "I do though. I want to sleep with you, that's the thing! Just…not yet."

"That's fine, too. That's—actually that's more than I expect. Last time this came up you said you didn't ever want to. And if it goes back to that, that's okay as well." 

The younger boy leaned into Calum's side, and Calum wrapped his arm around Luke's shoulders. Luke melted into the touch as they fell into a comfortable silence. 

“I’m trying my best.” Luke murmured.

“I know you are.”


	7. Seven - AUGUST 30

Luke was in his room reading when he heard Ashton yelling up the stairs. 

“Luke, I’m headed to the studio! Wanna come with?”

Luke bookmarked his page, shouting, “Yeah, coming!” as he slipped on his shoes. He met Ashton at the bottom of the stairs. 

“You ready?”

“Yep. Can we bring the old acoustic? I'll stay in one of the writing rooms and won't distract you, and I promise I won't break it—”

“Luke, relax. Of course you can. It's just as much your guitar as it is mine, okay? If you wanna bring it then go for it.”

Luke grinned and ran to the studio, grabbing the guitar and zipping it into a case before rushing back out to Ashton. 

“Okay now I'm ready.”

Ashton put a hand on Luke’s back and guided him towards the front door.

“You’re like a dog with a bone.” He teased, a massive grin on his face.

Luke frowned.

“That’s not a bad thing,” Ashton backtracked, locking the door behind them. “I like that you wanna come to the studio. It’s…nice to see you get along with Feldy.”

“It’s nice to see me get along with Feldy?” Luke said slowly.

Ashton rubbed the back of his neck and opened the trunk of the car for Luke to put the guitar down.

“What I mean is you’re both important to me, and I’d hate it if you weren’t fond of him. And I like hearing you play guitar.” He paused. “And…” He sighed. “And last time—I mean, my last…before…he didn’t like it. The studio, I mean. He never wanted anything to do with it. So—because of that—it’s really nice to see you get along with Feldy.”

Luke nodded in understanding and offered a small smile. 

“He’s hard not to like.”

Ashton closed the boot of the car.

“So are you.”

They climbed into the front seats and Ashton began driving towards the studio. 

“What was he like?” Luke asked quietly. “What happened?”

Ashton shrugged and left his hand on the armrest for Luke to take. 

“He was...he was my age. I was eighteen, and I wanted a friend, and I thought that anyone that was on the Block probably wanted a friend too, so it wouldn’t hurt to take someone out of that system, and gain a friend in the process. It was pretty naïve, but I was living alone, and didn’t have anyone telling me it would be a bad idea.”

Ashton pulled out of their neighborhood. 

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea. You helped him. That’s not a bad thing.”

Ashton shook his head. “No, helping him wasn’t a bad thing. What was wrong was expecting something of him. I learned my lesson there. He was my best friend for a long time, and I thought we really clicked.”

“What changed?”

“I fell in love with him, and he had never felt the same. I thought he had, but in reality it was the fact that he thought he couldn’t leave. I told him I loved him right when he decided he didn’t need me anymore, and he went to live somewhere else.”

Luke knew there was more to the story, but he didn’t want to pry. Instead he squeezed Ashton’s hand in his own and let the man finish. 

“I was pretty torn up over it. I really shouldn’t have been, in hindsight, but love is a bit blind. I ended up working through it by practically living in the studio with Feldy. A bit of it was because he had never liked the studio and it felt like revenge, but mostly it was a distraction. It’s where I met Mike and Cal. I spent so much time there that I met pretty much everyone who came in.”

Luke rubbed his thumb over Ashton’s fingers. 

“Why...did you do it again?”

Ashton stopped at a red light and looked at Luke. 

“It’s different. You’re different.”

Luke frowned, and Ashton continued. 

“With you, I don’t expect a thing. I’m just hoping, which is probably worse.”

“Hoping for what?”

Ashton looked back to the road. He chewed on his lip for a moment. 

“Happy ending, I guess? I don’t—I’m just letting things happen as they do. I want to get it right this time. I never planned on—on anything. I never even planned on you staying. I’m surprised that you’ve stayed as long as you have, considering...everything.”

Luke considered this. 

“Do you...want me to stay?”

Ashton nodded immediately. “Of course. I didn’t think I would, but the second I met you—if you want to stay here, God knows I want you to, too. I don’t expect you to—given everything—but you asked if I want you to, and my answer, no question, is a yes.”

 

***

Luke was the first into the writing room, and jumped when he noticed someone sitting in the room already. It was a woman he recognized—the same one who had been in the studio when Ashton brought him previously. 

“Hi!” The woman said, setting down her phone.

Luke smiled and stepped into the room, Ashton following a moment later.

“Hey Ash,” he greeted. “Luke, meet Ashley. Ash: Luke.”

“Hey.”

“Luke, Ashley’s writing with us today. You’re welcome to hang around if you want. It’d be cool to have you in a session, but if you’d rather bug Feldy, go for it.”

Luke smiled and took a seat on the sofa across from Ashley.

“I can stick around.”

“What do you do?” Ashley asked. “You play anything, or does Ashton keep you around because you’re pretty?”

Luke let out a nervous laugh.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ashton scoffed as he sat down beside Luke. “Of course I keep him around for his looks. Gotta have some eye candy if I’m stuck with your ugly mug in here all day.”

Luke let out a genuine laugh at that, and Ashley joined in.

“I play guitar, but not, like, here, or anything. Just for fun.”

“I bet Feldy will try to change that eventually. Anyone who can play anything gets roped into being a session artist here eventually.”

Ashton reclined against the back of the sofa, pulling Luke back with him, one arm slung around the younger boys shoulders.

“He’s getting there. Luke’s crazy talented, but won’t admit it. He hasn’t given Feldy a chance to see him really play, but when he does, that’ll be the day Luke gets trapped at the studio for the rest of eternity.”

“That’s a pretty long time,” Luke mused. 

“We’re stuck here too, don’t worry.” Ashley said. “You won’t be lonely.”

“Worried more about needing snacks.”

“I’ll make sure to tell Feldy to stock the fridge.”

***

Luke stood next to Feldy at the soundboard, watching Ashton in awe. The older man was sat at the drum kit in the sound booth, hammering away. Luke was equal parts impressed and attracted, but he was trying not to show it. He was supposed to be focusing on the music and deciding if he thought it sounded right, but in that moment he didn’t really hear the drums, because he was too busy staring. 

Ashton finally stopped, looking up and brushing his sweat-drenched hair from his face with his forearm. 

“Good?”

Luke nodded vehemently and Ashton laughed. 

“Let’s see it again with sixteenths in that prechorus if you can.” Feldy replied. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“I’m gonna get some water. Anyone thirsty?”

Ashton and Feldy both nodded, and Luke dipped from the room, wandering into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed three water bottles, letting the cool air wash over him for a few long moments before closing the door. He put the water bottles on the countertop and leaned on it. 

He was in over his head. There he was, standing in a studio, supposedly working, and all he could think about was Ashton in the playroom. He didn’t even know where the thoughts came from. He never spent time daydreaming about the playroom, but watching Ashton play the drums definitely gave him ideas. 

It was a little startling and overwhelming, so he set his feelings to the side, deciding to figure out what to do with them when he had time to think without distractions. It was probably going to lead to Ashton wanting to talk to him anyways, and that was definitely not a conversation to be had within several miles of Feldy. 

He sighed and picked up the water bottles before walking back to the studio. He waved at Matt as the older man passed him in the hallway.

When he got to the studio, Ashton had stopped drumming and was listening to the track play back over the speakers from over Feldy’s shoulder, looking down at the sound board. He turned as Luke walked in and took the offered water bottle with a smile, kissing Luke’s temple. 

“Thank you,” he mouthed. 

Luke nodded and offered a smile. He took a seat next to Feldy, and Ashton put a hand on his shoulder.

“I think that’s the one,” Feldy said when the playback ended. 

He took the water bottle from Luke. 

“Agreed. If you don’t mind I think we should probably call it a day.” Ashton said quietly. “I’m getting pretty tired, and I don’t think I can top that take today.”

 

SEPTEMBER 5

 

Michael leaned against Luke's back, wrapping his arms around the younger boy's torso. They were playing video games, and Luke was seated in Michael’s lap, controller in hand. 

"Did your parents ever know? That you’re gay?" 

Luke shook his head. 

"I didn't know until I was a bit older. They would’ve…probably been okay with it. I dunno. They're religious so it would've been a little scary to tell them. I guess it's a good thing I don't have to. Same for my brothers, I think.”

Luke bit his cheek. Every time someone brought up his parents, he cried. He could already tell this was no exception. As much as he tamped down his feelings, he missed his family, and talking about it took a lot out of him. 

"I see why you see it that way."

Luke shrugged, and Michael pulled Luke with him as he leaned back into the cushions. 

"If I see it as a bad thing that I left, and that I didn't get these moments with them, I'll never move on. How," Luke swallowed in an attempt to stop his trembling voice. "How could I?"

"Hey, you know what? These moments? These things you wish your parents had been around for? There are plenty of kids that go through that, and it's not exclusive to the Block. My parents sent me to a boarding school, so most of my birthdays were celebrated with a bunch of kids who didn't like me. My father never taught me to ride a bike. Or how to shave. I saw them at Christmas and for a few weeks in the summer. I know it's very different from not seeing them at all—from where you grew up—but I'm saying you're not alone in missing these big moments."

Luke paused the game, rolled over, and snuggled into Michael's chest. He melted into the warm embrace, and he took deep breaths to fend off the tears threatening to spill over. They ran down his cheeks anyways. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Michael to know he was crying, or that he was upset. He just didn’t want Michael to think that he was upset because they purchased him. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

"I've got you," Michael whispered, "I'm here. I've got you. You don’t need to be sorry.”

"I just— I wish I could see them again. They aren't even all that far away from here."

"I wish you could too. I wish I could change that for you."

Luke shook his head. "It's hard to be on my own. I don't have them, or my brothers. It's just me, and I'm—I'm okay here, but I want them to know that. I want to know they're okay."

"You're not alone, Lu. It's not just you. We may not be blood, but we’re your friends, and if you'll have us, your family.”

“It is just me. It shouldn’t be, I should still have them, I should still be with them, but I left them, Mike.”

Michael stiffened beneath Luke. 

“What are you talking about?”

Luke sniffed and tucked his head into Michael’s neck.

“I turned fifteen and left. I didn't even say goodbye because they wouldn't have let me go if I did.”

“They wouldn’t let you? They made you go, Lu, what do you mean?”

“I put myself on the Block. It's—didn't you read my file?”

“None of us did, Luke. We wanted you to tell us this stuff on your own time. Those files don't say much about who you really are. All that's in it are your records and the answers to a pretty generic questionnaire. We didn’t think there was anything in there that you wouldn't be able to tell us yourself. Why didn't you tell us that sooner?” 

“It never came up.”

“You don't have to wait for us to bring something up, you know. Stuff like that—Jesus Luke, that’s no small thing. You really did that? Why?”

Michael ran his hand through Luke’s hair, scratching his scalp. 

“My parents couldn't afford to support all of us and—they never would've decided to put one of us up themselves, even though they needed the money, and my brother wanted to get married, and my other brother couldn't go to school because he couldn't afford it, and I didn't know what I was gonna do with my life like they did. It was the right thing to do. And then you—a quarter of a million dollars Michael. That's more than I could've ever imagined I could give them, and now they have it. My brothers can go to school, and get married, and my parents don't have to work nearly as much as they did. I wish I could've been there with them to share it, but that's not how it works. I don't—I don’t regret it. I didn't realize what I was getting into when I left, but it was worth it, even though it's hard.”

Luke sat up when Michael nudged his shoulder. 

“I can't imagine what that's like, Lu. I would never be able to do that. I'm sure your parents understand, though. Your brothers too. What you did was so selfless; they couldn't possibly be mad at you. Not many people have the guts to do that, you know. It's pretty rare.” Michael sighed. “And here I was, thinking I was supposed to hate your parents on principle for doing that to you against your will.”

“Don't hate them. They haven't done anything wrong in their lives. They're—” Luke cut himself off with a shrug, feeling a lump in his throat bubbling up. 

“Hey, hey,” Michael murmured, pulling Luke into a hug, “I’ve got you. I know they're good people because they raised you to be such an amazing person, Luke.” 

Luke nodded.

“It's okay, you don't have to hold it in, Lu; you’re allowed to miss them.”

“I do,” Luke whispered. 

Michael held him close, rubbing his back. 

“Do you wanna finish our game?”

“Can we just—just a couple more minutes?”

Michael nodded. 

“As long as you need. I’ve got you.”

SEPTEMBER 7

Luke wanted advice, and he wanted it from Matt and Feldy. The problem was, Luke didn’t want anyone else overhearing. That meant he was going to need to ask to borrow a car, and he was going to need to ask the guys to leave him alone. 

He paced back and forth for ages before he finally built up the courage to ask Calum to hand over the keys. The worst Calum could say was no. Actually, the worst he could say was something along the lines of freaking out over Luke running away again, but Luke decided the worst thing Calum would say would be no. 

He took a deep breath and walked into the master bedroom where Calum was watching a football match. 

The older man looked up. 

“Hey,” he greeted, “wanna watch?” 

Luke shook his head, leaning on the door frame. 

“No, actually I, um,” he paused and swallowed, “I was wondering if I could go to the studio?”

Calum muted the game.

“Want me to drive you?”

Luke chewed on his cheek. “I kinda wanted to go by myself if that’s okay? I won’t stay too long, I just—I—” Luke sighed. “I wanna talk to Feldy, but I don’t want you to think I’m running away just because I wanna go by myself, and I don’t think I’ve earned that trust back, but I’m asking for it anyways, and—”

“Luke, chill out,” Calum said as he sat up, “of course you can go. You don’t need my permission or anything—”

“I do if I wanna take your car.”

“Okay, fine, yes, don’t hijack my car, but you can take the keys. You have my trust—our trust—and you could do with some time where we aren’t breathing down your neck.”

Luke shifted his weight to his other foot. 

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Come back around dinner, though. Mike wants us to try a new place on the beach.”

Luke nodded. 

“Okay.”

“Seriously. Go do your thing at the studio, and don’t come back until you want to. Not when you feel like you have to, alright?”

Luke offered a smile and nodded, and Calum waved him off. 

“Get out of here and have some fun.”

Luke nodded and ducked out of the room, calling, “thank you!” as he descended the stairs. He slid on his shoes and grabbed Calum’s keys off the hook by the door.

The car was a little black convertible with the top still up. The headlights flashed as he unlocked the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. He started the engine, enjoying the quiet hum breaking the silence of the garage. 

It lasted only a moment before the radio started up, blasting whatever rock station Calum had been listening to before. Luke sang along to each and every song until he made it to the studio, pulling into Ashton’s unofficial parking spot by the door, and shutting off the car. He locked it behind him as he walked into the lobby, waving at the receptionist as he made his way back to the recording booth, where he assumed Feldy would be. 

The greying man was in the room like Luke had expected, so the younger boy took a seat wordlessly by Feldy, waiting until he finished his take with whoever was in the booth.

Feldy looked up, smiling at Luke when the take ended.

“This is a surprise,” Feldy noted.

Luke shrugged.

“I thought I’d come by.”

Feldy offered a knowing look.

“You’re just here to say hello? On your own? Nothing else on your mind?”

Luke couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Yeah, okay, I want to talk,” he admitted. “Is Matt around? It’s probably more his area of expertise.”

“He’s in the writing room downstairs. I should be done here in about an hour if you wanna talk to me about whatever it is.”

“I’ll probably take you up on that.”

Feldy nodded.

“Go on down, I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

Luke did as he was told, leaving Feldy to finish recording. He found Matt on the sofa in the writing room, laptop on his lap and headphones on. 

“Hey kid,” Matt said. 

He put his laptop on the table and patted the sofa beside him. 

“Hey.”

Luke took a seat on the sofa and crossed his ankles on the table. 

“What’s up?”

“We’re having a family dinner tomorrow.”

Matt didn’t respond, and Luke kept going. 

“It’s not—it’s not that I don’t want to have a family dinner, because I do. I want to meet everyone, and they want me to meet everyone. I just—what if they don’t like me? And also what if they ask about my family? They obviously can’t come, and I know that, but it’s weird. There’s this big family dinner and everyone’s there, and then there’s me. I mean—it’s just weird, isn’t it?”

Matt laughed. 

“It’s not weird,” he started. “It feels weird but it isn’t. You know they know it’s just you, right? No one’s expecting your family to be there too, and no one’s going to think anything of it.”

“What if they don’t like me?”

Matt shrugged. 

“Not much you can do about that. But I doubt that’ll be the case.”

“But what if it is? Why would the guys keep me around?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Luke shook his head. 

“They’re big boys. They don’t make decisions because their parents think one way or the other. If they did, Calum would be studying law, Michael wouldn’t have tattoos, and Ashton never would have brought you home.”

Luke slouched against the back of the sofa. 

“That’s what I mean. Ashton’s parents hate Purchases.”

“No they don’t. They hate the system. They don’t hate anyone in it.”

“How can you know they won’t hate me?”

“Because they like me and Zakk well enough.”

Luke went to speak and then closed his mouth. Matt had a point. 

“Look,” Matt began, “I get that you’re worried. It makes sense, and you’re not crazy for freaking out a bit. But you don’t need to be worried. They’ll like you, and it’ll be a nice night. And if it’s not, you can ditch family dinners and hang out here from then on.”

Luke smiled. 

“Alright.”

“You would’ve figured that one out on your own though. What did you drive all the way down here for? You came with one of the guys, yeah? They upstairs?”

Luke shook his head. 

“Just me.”

Matt raised an eyebrow.

“Just you?”

Luke nodded and Matt waited for the younger boy to elaborate. 

“I miss my parents.”

Matt nodded. 

“I’m sorry. It’s not easy.”

“No it’s not. I’m having trouble putting it out of my mind though. I know I can’t see them. I’ve known that for the past however many years, and I’ll have to suck it up for another few, but it’s really hard to just let it go.”

“You have to.”

Luke hugged his knees to his chest and set his chin on them. 

“Much easier said than done.”

Matt grimaced. 

“I know. I can’t—my parents put me on the Block. I didn’t do what you did. It made it easier to pretend like they didn’t want me, even if that wasn’t really true. By the time I could see them again, I didn’t even want to.”

“It’s just—I know I can’t go back. I know it’s not an option. But I miss them. And—and they do want me, and that’s what makes it even harder.”

“Don’t feel guilty for making the choice you made. It was selfless.”

Luke shrugged. 

“Is that why you didn’t bring the guys?” Matt asked. “You worried they’ll take it the wrong way?”

Luke nodded, “I don’t want them to think I don’t want to be here. I do. I just—I just wanna be with my family, too.”

“And you think they’ll take it to mean you’re not happy with them?”

Luke nodded again. 

“Luke, you need to say that to them. They just need to know. Especially if it’s hard for you to be around their families. Don’t bottle it up. You’ve gotta tell them.”

“But—” Luke sighed, relenting, “I know. I know I do.”

“You get to see them again, you know. It’s not forever. It’s just a few years. It’ll pass much quicker than you think.”

“It’s nine years.”

“Well if you keep counting down, it’ll feel like an eternity. If you let time pass, and distract yourself with life, it’ll feel like minutes.”

Luke smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I’m trying.”

“You’re doing pretty well. Give it some time. You’ll get wrapped up in life and all of the sudden you’ll be able to reach out.”

“Did you ever reach out?”

Matt shook his head. 

“I figured they’d try to find me if they wanted to. I have Feldy and Amy and Zakk. They’re family now.”

“I see the guys as family,” Luke began. 

“But it’s different. They’re not replacing your parents and your brothers.”

“I don’t want them to.”

Matt nodded. 

“You’ll see them again, just hang in there.”

Luke sighed and sat up, taking his feet off the sofa. 

“Okay, enough with that. Talk to me about studio stuff. Why aren’t you recording with Feldy?”

Matt laughed at the sudden change of topic. 

“I’m supposed to be writing so I have something to bring to the next session I have.”

“You were watching something.”

“Like I said, supposed to be. I’m not getting much done.”

“What were you watching?”

“The news.”

Luke leaned back into the sofa.

“Really?”

Matt nodded and pulled his laptop into his lap, turning it so that Luke could see. 

“I like to keep up with headlines about purchases. There’s some singer that was outed by an ex. Everyone’s saying she used him to get famous.”

Luke frowned. 

“That’s awful.”

“It’s obviously not true. She was pretty well known before they met. Still doesn’t make it okay to out her if she wasn’t ready to tell people.”

Luke was quiet for a long moment. 

“I can’t imagine the whole world knowing I’m a Purchase. I’d want to keep it a secret forever.”

“I think she felt the same way. She put out a statement and went completely off the grid. I bet she’s waiting for everything to die down before she does another interview or performance.”

“That’s crazy.”

Matt nodded. 

“Some people don’t take kindly to Purchases having any kind of success in life. They definitely don’t like seeing Purchases break streaming records and win awards. But then again, some people are thrilled to see us find success.”

“It’s so unfair. We work really hard for what we have. Just because we went through living on the Block first doesn’t mean we don’t deserve recognition for success.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. I understand wanting to keep it quiet. There’s no pressure to be open about it, but know that no one here cares. Between you, me, and Zakk, it’s more trouble than it’s worth to hang around here and care about Purchases like that.”

Luke shrugged. 

“Anyone accepting can know. It’s the people who aren’t.” 

Matt chuckled. 

“It’s not really that simple.”

Luke crossed his arms over his chest, fingers pressing into his sides. 

“I wish it was. Then no one could get outed.”

“Or everyone could just be accepting.”

It was Luke’s turn to laugh.

“As if.”

SEPTEMBER 8

Luke wanted to throw up. He knew this wasn’t the traditional meeting-the-parents scenario for a relationship, it was really just a big family dinner, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. If their parents didn’t like him, he couldn’t imagine the trio would want him to stay. 

He knew it wasn’t likely, but it was still enough to have him picking nervously at his shirt sleeve and wandering around the house trying to make everything look perfect for their arrival. He had probably adjusted the dining room chairs a dozen times, and he had certainly fluffed the pillows in the living room more than that. 

The trio seemed to be a little bit anxious as well, since Ashton had been in the kitchen for several hours and snapped at anyone who tried to come in for any reason. Calum was picking weeds from the cracks in the driveway, which he described as a form of meditation. Michael was childproofing the house for Calum’s niece, which included hiding every questionable toy, and very deliberately locking the playroom door. 

Luke forced himself to take a seat at the bar in the kitchen and watch Ashton cook. He didn’t offer to help, knowing Ashton would lose it at the idea of anyone messing with his organized chaos. Instead he simply watched as the older man struggled to find space on the counter for the accumulating dishes.

“Ashton, what’s your color?”

Ashton paused and looked up. “My color?”

Luke nodded. 

“You know, cause everyone’s coming over.”

Ashton smiled. “Green. Green, I just know that their standards for good food far exceed mine, and even though we usually eat take out or we do a potluck kind of thing, I want everything to be perfect when they meet you.”

Luke didn’t comment on how Ashton probably wasn’t close to freaking out because of the rice on the stove. Instead, he nodded, letting it go. 

“I can help?”

“It’s okay, Luke. Your company is plenty, don’t worry. What about you though? What’s your color?”

“Green. I think. I’m excited to meet everyone, I just—I’d like for them to like me.”

Ashton looked up and smiled before returning his attention to the dish in front of him. 

“They’ll love you.”

“But I’m a—I’m a Purchase. Don’t—doesn’t your mum—”

“My mum doesn’t like that I put a small fortune towards a system that isn’t particularly kind to those in it. That has nothing to do with you. I—uh—I might get a mouthful on the subject, but don’t think she’s mad at you or anything. She’ll love you regardless of your history, alright?”

Luke nodded. “Does everyone else feel the same? Your siblings? Mike’s parents? Cal’s?”

Ashton shook his head. 

“Mali’s fiancé was a Purchase, too. Cal’s the one who took a while to come around, there—overprotectiveness at its finest. But that was nothing to do with him being a Purchase, that was because he was dating Mali. Cal’s parents don’t think anything of it. It’s just who you are.”

“Mike’s parents?”

Ashton put a pot in the sink. 

“They’d love you if you had three eyes and eight legs.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Truly, Luke, everyone’s going to love you.”

***

Ashton hadn’t been wrong. Everyone seemed to fall in love with him just as much as he fell for them the moment they walked through the front door. 

The first to do so was Calum’s niece, Cowan, who walked in with her mom and introduced herself first, with a brazen, “Hi! I’m Cowan. My momma says you’re just like Daddy, but I’ve never met anyone else like my daddy. My momma says Daddy came from the store but I didn’t. Did you come from the store?”

Mali-Koa had gasped at that, tugging on the back of Cowan’s shirt while Calum rolled his eyes, and Luke’s jaw dropped. Everyone else stood frozen, waiting to see how the scene played out. 

“Cowan! That’s not polite. Say you’re sorry.” Mali demanded.

“I just asked a question,” the four year old whined. 

“We don’t ask people if they’re from the Block, we let them bring it up when they want to. Now, apologize please.”

Cowan toed the ground. 

“Sorry Mister Luke.”

Luke snapped his hanging jaw shut and smiled a little. 

“It’s okay, kid, don’t worry about it.”

Calum’s shoulders dropped and he kissed Luke’s cheek, whispering, “I’m sorry about that,” before kneeling down to pick up his niece. 

“Missed you, Coh, how are you?”

“Miss you too, Uncle Cal! But you’ve been busy making songs so it’s okay.”

Mali pulled Luke’s attention from the little girl in front of him. 

“I’m sorry about her. She doesn’t get it,” she said, shaking her head fondly at her daughter, “I’m Mali, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She stretched out her hand for Luke to shake, and he did so, smiling. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Luke said again, “I’m Luke.”

“I know. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m glad to see you’re settling in a bit. They haven’t been too overbearing, have they?”

Luke grinned and shook his head. Cowan laughed at something Calum whispered in her ear.

“They’ve been great. We’re figuring it all out.”

Mali nodded.

“Give it some time. It’s a massive transition for you. Cowan’s dad needed some time to get used to it all. I’d imagine it’s been the same for you?”

“Little bit. Some things are more overwhelming than others.”

“Okay,” Michael said, speaking up for the first time since Mali’s arrival. “We have snacks in the kitchen and games in the living room.”

Cowan’s eyes went wide. “What kind of games?”

Calum set the little girl on her feet, and she barreled off into the living room. 

***

Everyone was a little bit relieved when all of the family piled out of the house and into the car. At nearly midnight, Mali announced that she and Cowan needed to head home, as the latter of the two had been fast asleep in Michael’s arms for most of the evening. Calum’s parents took that as their cue to leave as well, and not long after, Michael’s parents followed. The last to leave was Ashton’s mother, kissing the trio on the cheek before turning to Luke and pulling him into a tight hug.

“You call me if they give you any grief, you hear me?” She insisted. 

“Yes ma’am.”

Ashton’s mother frowned.

“Don’t call me that. You’re family, and I’m Ann.”

“Yes, Ann,” Luke said with a soft smile.

Ashton tugged on his mum’s arm, guiding her towards the door. Luke could hear the conversation carry through to the living room as he helped Michael clear glasses from the coffee table.

“Leave him alone, mum, he’s just being polite.”

“I don’t want him feeling like he needs to use formalities. You make sure he knows that, you hear me? If you’re going to be making Purchases, you’re going to at least do it right. You tell him the sirs and ma’ams need to stop. He’s one of us now, and—”

“Okay,” Ashton said sharply, cutting her off. “He knows. Let it go. He hardly ever says it. He’s probably just nervous because he wants you to like him.”

Luke opened the dishwasher and began loading the last of the dishes onto the bottom shelf. 

“Of course I like him, Ash,” Ann said softly, “why wouldn’t I?”

“Because he thinks you hate Purchases. I told him that wasn’t true, but he still worries a little about things like that.”

“Well, you tell him—”

“Not to worry? I do. Can you stop mothering me and go home now?”

“I just care about you all, you know that.”

“I know you do.”

Their voices dropped to a whisper and Luke couldn’t hear the end of the conversation. He closed the dishwasher and started it. A moment later Ashton walked into the kitchen, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry about her. She means well.”

Luke walked up to Ashton and hugged him.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have called her ma’am.”

Ashton pulled back and held Luke’s face in his hands.

“No. That wasn’t a bad thing. She shouldn’t have said anything. Sometimes she opens her mouth when she shouldn’t.”

“Guys,” Calum called. 

Luke turned to see Calum and Michael standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Let’s go up. I’m tired.”

They were hardly able to haul themselves upstairs with how exhausted they were. It had been a long, long day, and all four guys wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed and sleep for a century. 

At the top of the stairs, Luke turned to go to his room, as usual, but Calum stopped him with a hand snaking around his wrist.

“Hey,” the older man murmured.

Luke looked up, a yawn threatening to escape him.

“Yeah?”

“Stay with us tonight?” Calum asked, hopeful.

Luke tilted his head, considering for a moment before nodding.

“Okay,” he whispered.

He let Calum guide him into the master bedroom, trailing behind Michael and Ashton. Michael handed Luke some sweats to change into, and they all piled into bed together, with Luke somewhere in the middle. Ashton hit the lights and climbed under the covers beside Michael. 

“We’re gonna need a bigger bed.” Michael murmured, eyes closed. “California king. Maybe a bougie round one.”

“Luke’s too long for a round bed,” Ashton mumbled.

Luke smiled into Michael’s chest. 

“‘M not that much taller than you.”

Michael poked Luke’s thigh.

“Long legs. Guess they’d hang off the end.”

Luke laughed and nudged Michael’s hand away. Calum’s arm encircled Luke’s waist. 

“Not that long.”

“Yeah they are,” Ashton objected, his voice muffled into Michael’s shoulder. “Not complaining though. I like your long legs, they’re sexy. Bet they’re even sexier from in between ‘em, too.”

Luke gasped and laughed. “Ashton!”

“‘S true!”

“Pervert.”

Calum laughed at that, his arm tightening around Luke’s waist. 

“Can’t help it,” Ashton teased. 

“Not in this bed,” Calum mumbled. “Just changed the sheets.”

“Yeah Ash, be a pervert in the playroom,” Michael teased. 

“Too tired. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Mmm,” Luke hummed affirmatively. 

SEPTEMBER 9

Ashton and Luke met at the top of the stairs, having just dressed for their run. Luke, like in the studio earlier that week, found himself drooling over the older man, who was shirtless and wearing only a pair of gym shorts. While Luke kept his thoughts to himself, Ashton voiced his, which were much the same. 

“Fuck you look good.” He murmured, looking Luke up and down a couple of times. 

Luke’s cheeks went red and his lips parted, unsure of what to say. 

“I—”

“Dammit. Okay, let’s go before I say something stupid.”

“Stupid? I—you think I look good?”

Luke looked down at his T-shirt and shorts and bit his lip. 

“You always look good. Right now you just look...especially good. I’m sorry, I know you’ve asked me not to say stuff like that. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. I’m being a bit of a dick by ignoring that and—”

“I don’t mind. I mean—I—you look good too.”

Ashton chuckled. 

“You think so?”

Luke rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I always think so. That’s half the problem, isn’t it? Always find you good looking but not always ready to do something about it.”

The older man smiled and shook his head. 

“You’re something else, Luke.”

Luke blushed and took a deep breath. He needed to work on baby steps and this was a great opportunity for him to do so. 

“Do you—do you wanna kiss me right now?”

Ashton’s eyes went wide. 

“Always, but I’m never going to, unless it’s what you want.”

“Can you—” Luke huffed at his own nerves. He wanted to be smooth and sexy like Ashton. “Will you kiss me right now?”

“You want me to?”

Luke nodded. 

“Always.”

Ashton stepped forward and framed Luke’s face with his hands. 

“Positive?”

“Positive.”

The older man smiled and leaned in, kissing the younger boy softly. Luke went with it for a moment before pulling away. 

“I meant, like, a real kiss. Like the kinda kiss you were probably thinking of when you said I looked good.” Luke explained. 

Ashton grinned. 

“You don’t call this a real kiss?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Ashton agreed. “You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure. I’m not a china doll, Ashton—make out with me before I change my mind.”

Ashton didn’t need to be told twice. He leaned in again, kissing Luke as he had before while backing him against the wall. Luke reveled in the sudden attention and wrapped his arms around Ashton’s neck. 

“Jump,” Ashton murmured, tugging on Luke’s hip. 

Luke did as he was told, hooking his legs around Ashton’s waist. 

“Where are we going?” Luke mumbled against Ashton’s lips. 

“Playroom,” he replied, “so we don’t wake up Mike and Cal.”

Luke nodded and returned to kissing Ashton. The older man walked them down the hall to the playroom, pushing open the door with one hand. Once they were through, he closed it again and set Luke on the bed. Luke took a deep breath and let it out as Ashton climbed onto the bed above him, knees on each side of his hips, and leaned back in for another kiss. Ashton kept his weight off of Luke, their only contact being Ashton’s lips on his, and one hand on his cheek. Luke didn’t know what to do with his hands so he put them back around Ashton’s neck. 

“Just this,” Ashton murmured as he pulled back a few inches, “nothing more.”

Luke smiled. Ashton could sense that he had become a little nervous, and instantly went to reassure him. He took comfort in it. They wouldn’t go further, and Luke didn’t need to worry it would.

“Keep kissing me so I don’t have to go running with you.”

Ashton bit at Luke’s lip.

“You like our runs.”

Luke shook his head.

“I hate our runs. I like running with you.”

“Mmm,” Ashton hummed, “Same thing, really.”

Luke pressed his lips to Ashton’s, effectively ending the conversation in favor of kisses.

SEPTEMBER 25

Everything was getting better when it all went wrong again. 

Michael and Luke went on a bike ride through the neighborhood on one of the warmer afternoons that week, and they were about to head home when Michael’s tire caught on the curb and he flew over the handlebars. Luke slammed on his breaks as Michael threw his arms out to stop his fall, but it wasn't enough to protect him. He crumpled to the ground and the bike landed on top of him. Michael swore and clutched his arm to his chest, laying on his side. 

Luke had heard the break, but didn't see it. He was off his bike and at Michael’s side in seconds, tossing the bike off of the injured man. Luke put a hand on Michael’s shoulder and reached out to pull Michael’s non-injured arm away. 

“Shit, are you okay? No you’re not. Okay I'm going to call Ashton—where’s your phone?” 

Luke slid his hand into Michael’s pocket and pulled out the device, unlocking it and dialing Ashton’s number. He held the phone between his shoulder and his ear so that he could assess the damage. Michael let him feel his wrist, and he gingerly pressed his fingers to the area until Michael winced, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

“It's definitely broken. I need to—”

“Hey Mike, what's up?”

“Ashton? It's Luke. Michael broke his wrist—”

“What? What do you mean he broke his wrist? What happened?”

Michael flinched when Luke slowly tried to rotate his wrist. His eyes were glassy and Luke could tell he was trying not to cry. Luke would've been on the ground wailing like a baby. 

“Ow, ow, ow, stop.” Michael yelped, voice cracking. 

Luke stopped and readjusted the phone against his ear. 

“I mean he broke it, Ashton, what do you think I mean when I say—I heard it break, okay? Jesus, Ash, he fell off his bike. We need—can you come here? He needs to see—I’m not a doctor, I can't—he needs to see a doctor.”

“Where are you?” 

Luke looked around.

“You know our normal route to the beach? Like two, maybe three blocks from the house?”

“We’ll be there in five. Hang in there.”

The line went dead and Luke pocketed the phone. He helped Michael to sit up. 

“You okay?” Luke asked. “It's going to be a few minutes. We’re going to take you to the doctor and they'll fix it.”

“Okay.”

Michael’s voice was wavering, and Luke could tell the pain was setting in even more now. He was breathing heavily. 

“It's gonna hurt a hell of a lot more before it feels better. I'm sorry, I wish I could say otherwise.”

Luke went over to Michael’s bike and took the water bottle from the holder. He knew Michael needed to keep his wrist elevated and cold. He brought the bottle to Michael. 

“Here, give my your hand.” Luke’s hand guided Michael’s arm towards him. “Only bend at the elbow, don't turn your wrist at all. I think you broke the—well I don't know what it's called, but it's—don't turn your wrist.” He held the water bottle against Michael’s wrist so that it went along the length of his palm and some of his forearm. Michael clenched his teeth together. “Hold it up like this—good. Keep it elevated.”

“How do you know how to do this?” Michael asked, holding his wrist up with his other hand like Luke had showed him. He wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve and sniffed. 

“I couldn't—doctors are expensive. We had to know what to do. I learned.”

“Oh.”

“It's okay, really. It's life. But you can go to a doctor. You need to. I can help, but you're a guitarist, Mike.”

“Shit,” Michael exclaimed. “Aw, Feldy’s gonna kill me.”

Luke shook his head. 

“He’ll understand. Accidents happen, it's okay.”

“No, I have to go into work tomorrow. I'm supposed to lay down new tracks and I can't. It's gonna delay everything.”

“Mike, he’s not going to be upset.”

Michael shook his head and forced himself to take a deep breath. 

“This is really bad,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t—it can’t be broken. I need to be able to play.”

“I hate to break it to you, but it’s broken. I heard it.”

Michael’s breathing picked up at a quick and erratic pace. 

“It can’t be broken. It can’t be broken.”

“Mike—Michael look at me. Breathe. Hey—look at me. You need to breathe. Calm down, okay? I know it hurts, I know it’s scary, but you need to relax. If you keep tensing up, you’re going to make it worse.”

Michael nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on his breathing. Ashton’s car pulled up alongside the curb and before it had come to a full stop Calum jumped out and rushed over to Michael’s side. 

“Are you okay? What happened? How bad is it?” 

Michael didn’t open his eyes to respond. 

“I'm fine, Cal, it just hurts.” He said shakily. 

Luke sat back on his heels. 

“He’s going to be fine, I don't think it's bad. Just a fracture from what I can tell, but you need an X-ray to be sure.”

Ashton walked over, concern etched on his face. He knelt down in front of Michael. 

“Mikey?”

“I'm fine, I'm fine.” He said, eyes still squeezed tightly shut. “Don't fuss over me.”

“I get to fuss. Why weren't you guys wearing helmets? Why didn't you—”

“Ashton, no offense but what's done is done, and he needs to see a doctor so they can fit him with a cast.” Luke said gently, watching Michael tense up again. “You can interrogate him later.”

Calum helped Michael to stand and opened the car door for him, while Ashton and Luke piled the bikes into the trunk.

Ashton drove as fast as he could to the hospital, despite both Luke and Michael telling him off from the back seat and insisting it wasn't necessary. 

“If it were that much of an emergency I would've called an ambulance, Ash,” Luke insisted. “Slow down a bit.”

Ashton slowed fractionally, and Luke relaxed into his seat a little. He held Michael’s injured arm up so Michael could rest his good arm. 

“When we get there can you call Feldy?” Michael asked softly. 

“Who? Me?” Ashton replied. 

“Yeah. He needs to know I can't come in. We’ve got a lot of work to do and he's gonna need a temporary replacement.”

Ashton sighed. “I'll give him a call. We’ll work it out.” He glanced at Luke in the rear view mirror. “We’re getting you a phone.”

“What?”

“It’s—okay, for safety reasons if nothing else, you need to be able to contact people if there’s an emergency. But you also just need a phone. Everyone has a phone.”

“I’ve never had a phone.”

Ashton tilted his head to the side. 

“I guess you haven’t. We’ll change that soon, alright? First we have to deal with Michael’s arm, but we’ll get you a phone.”

They parked and walked into the ER. Ashton went with Michael into one of the exam rooms once Michael was called, and Luke and Calum stayed in the lobby until the other two returned a couple of hours later. Michael’s cast was a deep blue covering half of his forearm, and Ashton had already signed it with a big flourishing A. 

Ashton was holding a packet of paper and a pill bottle in one hand, and held Michael’s hand in his other. 

“You were right, Luke. Clean fracture.”

“Six weeks off,” Michael grumbled. 

“It'll go by faster than you think,” Ashton said. “And we’re going to Feldy’s to sort out what to do while Mike can't play.”

Michael scowled. 

“Thought he was busy today?” Calum asked. 

“Ashley’s sick so he hasn't got anyone coming in today. He said we can take her slot.”

Calum stood up to hug Michael and Luke followed. 

“Let's get this over with.” 

Ashton sighed. “Mike it's only a few weeks. You can still do vocals.”

Calum started walking towards the parking lot, looking lost in thought. 

“Yeah, but—ugh,” Michael began trailing after Calum, and Luke and Ashton followed. “Music is all I know. It's what I do. It's—now I can't make music because of this—this thing!” Michael waved his wrist in the air before wincing and swearing. “And of course Feldy already knows who he's replacing me with—”

“Feldy is not replacing you; he said he had someone in mind to temporarily play for you. Stop grumbling and get in.” Ashton ordered. 

Everyone climbed into the car and Ashton started the engine, tossing the pills and paper packet into Calum’s lap. 

“Oxycodone? It hurts that bad?” 

“I broke my arm Calum, yes it hurts enough for that.”

Ashton glanced in the rear view mirror. 

“I think you should consider natural pain relievers too.”

“I'm not relying on tea and sunshine to fix this. I know you think it's better, but this isn't a bruise, it's a bone that broke into two pieces, and it hurts like a bitch, okay? I’m gonna do what the doctor told me to do, and take the meds as instructed. I won't get addicted or anything.”

Luke’s eyes went wide. He rarely heard Michael talk back to Ashton—to anyone for that matter. Ashton merged onto the highway and ran a hand through his hair.

“You shouldn't rely on something that chemically alters the way your brain works, is all I'm saying.”

“You two should knock it off. Ashton you're a hypocrite, you smoke weed all the time. Mike, he's got a point babe. This shit’s addictive and makes you pretty dopey. It wouldn't hurt to consider a remedy that isn't an opioid. There are other painkillers that get the job done.”

“Wait, Ashton, you smoke weed?”

Ashton sighed. 

“Thanks Cal,” he said flatly. “Yeah Luke, I do. Not often though.”

“But that's…”

“Not like me? I've heard that before. Calum’s right, I’m being a bit of a hypocrite. Although marijuana is not an addictive opioid, it's a depressant hallucinogen, which is not nearly as dangerous.” He paused and glanced at Calum. “But that's not what you asked. Yes, Luke, I get high.”

“Oh. I…I um…I was gonna say illegal, actually. But that too.”

“I'm twenty one, it’s legal, recreationally.”

Calum scoffed. 

“As if that ever stopped you before.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. 

“Well, Mike,” Ashton said, voice strained, “if you try that instead of those pills I won't fault you for it.”

“Wait—that's illegal though.”

“Um…yeah, it is,” Ashton trailed off, voice pitched high. 

Luke’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“Okay?”

“I still think it's better than opioids.” The eldest rushed out. “I—yeah.”

Michael huffed and slouched in his seat. 

“I just want to play guitar. I don’t care about getting high.”

Luke frowned. Michael had never been as sulky as he was being in that moment, but Luke knew it was justified. 

“I know,” Ashton conceded. “You will. It's just a few weeks.”

It fell silent for a few minutes. Luke recognized his surroundings and realized they were nearing the studio. 

“Besides, maybe you'll like the temp. I'm sure Feldy has his eye on someone who really would be a good fit.”


End file.
